Born Pamela Denise Anderson, on Jul 1, 1967, in Ladysmith, British Columbia, Canada. Reportedly 5' 7", 36-22-34.

Every year, magazines like People, FHM, and Esquire put out an issue celebrating the most beautiful women in Hollywood, and every year some cynic points out that these pictorial round-ups aren't really about the most beautiful women in Hollywood, but the most beautiful women in Hollywood who currently have a project in need of promotion.

Which is to say that the magazines are about celebrities, and true celebrities are a much narrower category of people than one might think: They are, to put it bluntly, people who are famous for doing something lately. Celebrities who haven't done anything in recent memory either slip into Hollywood oblivion or live an obnoxious afterlife in the tabloids as personalities — people like Charo, Elizabeth Taylor, and Michael Jackson, famous now only for having once been famous, and whose work, when they get it, consists mostly of playing themselves in sitcom cameos and dubbing their voices over cartoons.

And now, in this new millenium, the question arises: Is Pamela Anderson still a celebrity?

Quite simply: No.

She is, to be sure, still famous, and her fame is certainly well deserved. Moreover, her success has actually changed the entertainment industry, legitimizing as it did the timeless, cheesecake appeal of the top-heavy Playboy pinup and making TV and fashion safe for jiggly curves and cleavage again. (Before Pam, Playboy was still lumped together with Hustler in the public eye, and a playmate-type body was too vulgar and blatantly sexual for the mainstream marketplace, which is why playmates who managed to get gigs on TV like Julie McCullough lost their jobs when their past nude work became publicized, and fashion models all looked like Kate Moss.) She was, in short, the Marilyn Monroe of her era. But whereas Marilyn killed herself before her beauty could fade in the public mind — and thereby became immortal — Pamela is the Marilyn who didn't kill herself, and in 1996 her celebrity stock began a downward trend that it never really recovered from.

The problem was that Pam understood neither of the two basic keys to her success:

• People like to watch her in thong montages.
• People don't want other people to know that they like watching her.

This is why 1996's Barb Wire was such a huge bomb while Baywatch was an international success — no one wants to be caught in public watching a Pam Anderson flick without the excuse that it's a really good film (which Barb Wire wasn't). Worse, Barb Wire's flop destroyed the belief in Pamela's unstoppable popularity and made her seem doomed to playing Baywatch's C.J. Parker forever.

Which is humuliating enough, but had she been smart about it, she would have gone back to Baywatch and stayed there, crappy pay and all. Baywatch was the reason she was popular, after all, and she the reason Baywatch was popular — united they were a hot commodity. But instead she left the show a year after Barb Wire on the grounds that Baywatch was unwilling to pay for extra security (Pam was forever in danger of being mauled by sex-crazed fans when she appeared publicly in the U.S. — or gang-raped by fans if she was outside the U.S.), and for the next year was not heard from except for in the tabloids. The road to “personality” status was getting shorter and shorter.

Then came the infamous sex tape, and interest in Pam exploded around the world once more. More than Pam, though, Tommy Lee's penis took center stage for a while, and suddenly Mötley Crüe was getting airplay on the radio and MTV. But then the hoopla took another turn as rumors began to circulate that the tape was not stolen, as Pam and Tommy allegedly alleged in court, but leaked in an effort to rekindle their careers, and that the Lees were getting a cut of the profits. Stolen or leaked, though, the much circulated video still suggested that Pam's career was not what it used to be, as this home movie was the most successful thing she had done since Baywatch.

And so it remains to this day. Pam's celebrity, while for some alive and kicking on V.I.P., has for most people been exhausted by endless (and increasingly tiresome) appearances in the tabloids. (Tommy Lee? Markus Schenkenberg? Kid Rock? Implants out? Implants in? Does anyone really care anymore?) After her announcement in March, 2002 that she was being treated for Hepatitus C, whatever stretch of road remained between Pam and “personality” status finally disappeared.

On the bright side, it might not be too late for Pam. Perhaps all she needs to do to get things going again is insert more thong montages into V.I.P. and shift the show's emphasis from comedy to drama. (From Janeane Garofalo, who had her C cups lopped off at the start of her career, to Nikki Cox, who can't stay on the air despite her enormous jugs, one thing is clear: people don't like their hooter chocolate mixed with their comedy peanut butter.) But whatever Pam does, she'd better do it quickly; already there's an entire generation of kids who've never heard of Baywatch, and for whom Pamela's continuing fame will soon be as inexplicable as Zsa Zsa Gabor's.

Also sprach Golem.
(More recent commentary below)

Pam to Divorce Kid Rock
Monday, November 27, 2006
Life lesson: The more times one gets married to the same former rock star in the same year, the less likely any of those marriages are going to stick.... Read more

Pamela Confirms Miscarriage
Friday, November 10, 2006
Us Weekly reports that Pamela Anderson suffered a miscarriage late last week, presumably with husband Kid Rock’s child. How did this happen?... Read more

Stacked
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
It’s been a long time since Pamela Anderson’s been on the tube in something other than a cameo, game show, or cartoon voice — quite frankly, I didn’t think there was much else in the cards for her — so it was fun in a nostalgic sort of way to see that she’d beaten the odds (and the hep C, to boot, she says) and gotten herself back on the air.... Read more

Still Milking It
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
A new show? Are you kidding? With Pamela Anderson as the star, not a cameo or a voice? Can clawing one’s way out of the career grave be so easy? And what about the Hepatitis C? Isn’t there an actual grave to be crawled out of soon? From TV Guide:... Read more

Does It Really Matter Now?
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Even at the peak of her fame, most Americans had no idea that Pamela Anderson was not in fact American. Now, a decade later, they’re only half wrong.... Read more

Sometimes It Sucks to Be Right
Friday, December 19, 2003
When I learned last year that Pamela Anderson would be doing voice work for Stripperella, I asked “can center square be far behind?” The answer, apparently, is “No”.... Read more

R.I.P. V.I.P.
Friday, June 14, 2002
Lest anyone still have doubts that Pamela Anderson has slid from celebritydom to personalitydom, TVGuide.com reported today that her campy show V.I.P. has been given the axe — but that Pam will be returning to TV to do voice work for the main character in the upcoming animated series Stripperella. Can center square be far behind?... Read more

Film

• Superhero Movie (2008) .... The Invisible Girl
• Blonde and Blonder (2007) .... Dee Twiddle
• Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006) .... Herself
• Scary Movie 3 (2003) .... Catholic Schoolgirl #1
• The Making of Bret Michaels (2002) .... Herself
• Scooby-Doo (2002) .... Herself [uncredited]
• Sin City Spectacular (1998)
• Airport (1996) .... Herself
• Barb Wire (1996) .... Barb Wire/Barbara Kopetski
• Ruby Wax Meets (1996) .... Herself
• Naked Souls (1995) .... Britt
• Raw Justice (1994) .... Sarah
• Snapdragon (1993) .... Felicity
• Days of Our Lives (1992) .... Cindy
• The Taking of Beverly Hills (1991) .... Cheerleader [uncredited]

• Come Die with Me: A Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer Mystery (1994) .... Velda

• Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding (2003) .... Casey Jean 'C.J.' Parker
• MTV Europe Music Awards 2002 (2002) .... Presenter [uncredited]
• Cleavage (2002) .... Herself [archive footage]
• VH1 Divas Live: The One and Only Aretha Franklin (2001) .... Herself
• Baywatch: River of No Return (1992) .... C.J. Parker
• Baywatch Summerfest Special (1992) .... C.J. Parker

• Stacked (2005-2006) .... Skyler Dayton
• Stripperella (2003) .... Erotica Jones/Stripperella [voice]
• Just Shoot Me: “Mayas and Tigers and Deans, Oh My” (2/15/2001) .... Herself
• The Priory (2/8/2000) .... Herself
• Wetten, daß...? (1/29/2000) .... Herself
• Cribs (2000) .... Herself
• Futurama: “Fry and the Slurm Factory” (11/14/1999) .... Dixie [voice]
• The Howard Stern Show (10/27/1999) .... Herself
• The Howard Stern Show (10/26/1999) .... Herself
• The Howard Stern Show (10/8/1999) .... Herself
• The Howard Stern Show (10/7/1999) .... Herself
• The Howard Stern Show (10/6/1999) .... Herself
• Futurama: “A Fishful of Dollars” (4/27/1999) .... Herself [voice]
• The Howard Stern Show (3/5/1999) .... Herself
• The Howard Stern Show (3/4/1999) .... Herself
• The Howard Stern Show (10/16/1998) .... Herself
• The Howard Stern Show (10/15/1998) .... Herself
• Die Harald Schmidt Show (9/11/1998) .... Herself
• The Howard Stern Show (1/16/1998) .... Herself
• V.I.P. (1998-2002) .... Vallery Irons
• Home Improvement: “The Kiss & The Kiss-Off” (5/20/1997) .... Lisa
• The Nanny: “The Heather Biblow Story” (5/7/1997) .... Heather Biblow-Imperiali
• The Howard Stern Show (4/22/1997) .... Herself
• The Howard Stern Show (4/21/1997) .... Herself
• The Nanny: “Danny's Dead and Who's Got the Will?” (1/8/1997) .... Heather Biblow-Imperiali
• The Chris Rock Show (1997) .... Herself
• Ruby Wax Meets (1996) .... Herself
• Baywatch (1992-1997) .... Casey Jean 'C.J.' Parker
• Married... with Children: “Route 666: Part 2” (5/5/1991) .... Cashew
• Top of the Heap: “Behind the Eight Ball” (4/21/1991) .... Romona
• Home Improvement (1991-1993) .... Lisa (The Tool Time Girl)
• Married... with Children: “Al... with Kelly” (9/30/1990) .... Yvette
• Charles in Charge: “Teacher's Pest” (1990) .... Chris

• Playboy Prime Time Playmates (2002) .... Herself
• A Taste of Playboy: Personalities Volume 1 (1998) .... Herself
• Playboy's Blondes Brunettes Redheads (1998) .... Model [uncredited]
• Baywatch: Forbidden Paradise (1995) .... C.J. Parker
• EdenQuest: Pamela Anderson (1995) .... Herself
• Playboy: The Best of Pamela Anderson (1995) .... Herself
• Wrestlemania XI (1995) .... Herself
• Playboy Video Centerfold: Pamela Anderson (1992) .... Herself
• Playboy: The Best of Sexy Lingerie (1992) .... Playmate
• Sexy Lingerie III (1991) .... Model
• Wet & Wild III (1991) .... Model
• Playboy Video Playmate Calendar 1991 (1990) .... Miss July
• Sexy Lingerie II (1990) .... Model

• Pam & Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon (1998; aka “Pam & Tommy Lee: Hardcore & Uncensored”) .... Herself

• Pamela Anderson seeks divorce after short marriage
  Reuters (Dec 17, 2007)
  Former Baywatch star and Playboy model Pamela Anderson has filed for divorce from her third husband after just two months of marriage.
• Rock claims Pam lied about miscarriage
  Associated Press (Oct 3, 2007)
  Kid Rock claims Pamela Anderson lied about a miscarriage during their brief marriage last year.
• Pamela Anderson tells Finland to ban fur farms
  Reuters (Jun 22, 2007)
  Finland must move into the 21st century and stop fur farming, television star Pamela Anderson said in an appeal to the Nordic country’s president.
• Paparazzi boo Pamela Anderson at Cannes
  Associated Press (May 18, 2007)
  Photographers at the Cannes Film Festival booed Pamela Anderson after she showed up late for a photo session Friday and only stuck around to pose for a few minutes.
• Denise Richards, Pamela Anderson sued
  Associated Press (Mar 24, 2007)
  Two freelance photographers are suing Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson, charging that Richards assaulted them when they tried to take her picture and that the women lied about the scuffle.
• Ali G Crashes Pam’s Howl-y Matrimony
  MSN (Aug 22, 2005)
  When Pammy met Ali

Cyber Temples

• Pamela Anderson Nude Celebrity Reviews
  Mr. Skin
  Bio, filmography, and nude stills from her films
• Pamela Anderson
  Wikipedia
  Pamela Anderson in wikireality

Miscellaneous

• Pamela Anderson
  Internet Movie Database
  Always up-to-date filmography