Born Kelly Parsons, on Nov 23, 1979, in Rochester, Kent, England, UK. Reportedly 5' 6", 32E-24-35.

There’s something unapologetically and bouncingly over-the-top about British topless model Kelly Brook. It’s not just the giant jugs — most British models apparently have that going — but something else. We’ll call it charisma.

The Brits seem aware of it too — Kelly, who started modeling when she was 16, went on to become one of the hottest lingerie models in Britain. (Big jugs go a long way in the homeland of Samantha Fox.) Her sojourn into television, unfortunately, fared less well, as Kelly felt compelled to quit her show The Big Breakfast after the British tabloids published a rumor that she was to be sacked for being “too dumb” (i.e., she couldn’t read the teleprompter). Perhaps that’s why she left the UK for a turn on Smallville and a role in The Italian Job here in the U.S., where being too dumb has never counted against a model/actress.

Also sprach Golem.
(More recent commentary below)

Kelly Brook in Italian Max
Saturday, March 19, 2011
This site is certainly no stranger to hyperbole, and I appreciate that Italy’s interest in bosomy Kelly Brook might be running high right now, what with Piranha 3D having debuted there less than a month ago, but “Kelly Brook to conquer Hollywood”? Not even if she hadn’t gotten knocked up.... Read more

Kelly Brook’s nipply new shoot for Reebok
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Enjoy it while it lasts; it’ll most likely be a while before she looks like this again.... Read more

Warning: Kelly Brook’s pregnancy may cause significant shrinkage
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Kelly Brook announced on her Twitter feed a few days ago that she’s pregnant by boyfriend Thom Evans. A joyous occasion for her personally, I suppose, and good for her fans insofar as it’ll make her already ample E cups scale the alphabet even further for a time. Probably not be so good for her gig as Reebok spokesmodel, though, nor for her aspirations in Hollywood so soon after the moderate success of Piranha 3D. And without wankable media appearances to keep interest alive, what will become of her mostly male fanbase?... Read more

Kelly Brook’s new(ish) photos for FHM
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
It seems there’s a long-standing tradition in Britain of republishing old Kelly Brook photo shoots from other magazines as if they were new. And indeed, the photo shoot in the April 2011 issue of FHM is mostly republished material from the August 2010 issue of Maxim. But there are also a few outtakes thrown in the mix, as well as a couple old photos differently sized and cropped. So still a happy day in the land of lad mags, even if it is mostly déjà vu.... Read more

Kelly Brook full frontal by ... Dexter Morgan?
Friday, February 11, 2011
It’s been a while since the world has seen Kelly Brook this naked this clearly. Or with this much quasi-gore.... Read more

Kelly Brook in bikini and ... Peggy Bundy-wear
Thursday, February 3, 2011
It’s a disappointingly common pattern among women in the spotlight who become famous for their sex appeal but then stop their prurient pandering once they think their fame has become self-sustaining. Thank God, then, for Kelly Brook, the famously bosomy Page 3 girl who, despite sallies into more or less mainstream television, film, and theater, has yet to become so forbiddingly famous that chesty cheesecake fare like this is beneath her.... Read more

Holiday hooter roundup
Sunday, January 2, 2011
What sort of year will 2011 be? In older days, people would study the flight of birds to gauge a thing’s auspiciousness. Judging from the preening birds we have for study this New Year’s vacation — the bikini-wearing Jessica Alba, Kelly Brook, Salma Hayek, and Chloe Sevigny — it looks like we’re in for a very auspicious year indeed.... Read more

Always in fashion
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
When you’re built like Kelly Brook, you’re not just forever in fashion, you’re beyond fashion.... Read more

Fuss ’n’ Feathers
Monday, November 29, 2010
It’s not like we haven’t seen photos like this a hundred times before — Kelly Brook climbing out of a car, Kelly Brook walking to some function or other, Kelly Brook posing for the paparazzi — it’s the generously exposed, pushed-up E-cups in feathers that transform these otherwise commonplace and banal photos into the realm of the sublime.... Read more

Kelly Brook cleavage for all occasions
Monday, November 15, 2010
Not sure what the occasion is here, but when Kelly Brook’s sporting this much cleavage, the whys and wherefores hardly matter.... Read more

Specs appeal
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Model Kelly Brook doesn’t really wear glasses, but that’s hardly kept her from being the face and boobs of the Spectacle Wearer of the Year awards, a sort of Top Model put on by Specsavers Opticians, the LensCrafters of the UK. Of course, for someone who’s probably had to say “my eyes are up here” more than a few times in her life, it’s possible no one’s even looked to see if she wears glasses or not.... Read more

Optimus Prime: In a world that doesn’t, Kelly Brook’s rack does
Thursday, November 4, 2010
As a cranky curmudgeon who still refuses to buy into the cell phone racket, I couldn’t care less about the recent launch of the LG Optimus One smart phone or any other whizzy gizmo with iffy service and a mandatory two-year contract. Unless, of course, Kelly Brook’s reliably ridiculous curves are in attendance. Now the release of yet another smart phone I have no intention of buying seems strangely important.... Read more

Kelly Brook: Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Reebok. (Hint: It’s not Reebok.)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
It’s the shoe that can give you the ass that model Kelly Brook already had when Reebok hired her to model the shoe that supposedly gave her that ass.... Read more

Kelly Brook’s Comic-Con cleavage
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Geek though I am, I’ve never been that species of geek that feels the need to make a pilgrimage to San Diego every year in answer to Comic-Con’s commercialized call to prayer. Comic books and press junkets just aren’t my particular affliction. Or so I thought until yesterday’s arrival of Kelly Brook and her Page 3 shock-and-awe rack to promote Piranha 3D.... Read more

Holy Christ!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Like any Kelly Brook fan, I’m anxiously awaiting her appearance in Playboy. But like anyone who’s seen a Playboy celebrity spread in the last decade or so, I know I’ll be disappointed by it. Thank God, then, for Maxim.... Read more

Movie iconolatry with Kelly Brook
Friday, July 9, 2010
Sure, Kelly Brook may not much look like Princess Leia or any of the other movie icons she’s sort-of dressed up as for Total Film, but the nice thing about sporting E-cups is that no one really cares about details like that.... Read more

Kelly Brook in Barbados: This time, it’s professional
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Looks like Kelly Brook’s vacation in Barbados wasn’t all paparazzo pictures of boobs and bikinis — it was photo shoot pictures of boobs and bikinis, too.... Read more

What about all the good things Britain has produced lately?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Sure, there’s the BP catastrophe and the company’s staunch non mea culpa stance, but then there’s also photos of Kelly Brook in a bikini in Barbados.... Read more

What’s the deal with Loaded magazine?
Friday, May 28, 2010
“Exclusive photos”? “Kelly Brook Topless At Last”? Are you kidding?... Read more

Kelly Brook the new face (and body) of Ultimo lingerie
Monday, May 17, 2010
It’s been a little while, what with that Calendar Girls business and all, but Kelly is finally back where she does her best work: in front of a camera, half-naked.... Read more

Where’s the beef?
Friday, March 26, 2010
Top-heavy model/actress Kelly Brook is known primarily for one thing — or two things, if you like. You’d think that Nestle’s Skinny Cow, for whom Kelly was the host at a celebrity Swap Shop last week, would know how to milk it better.... Read more

And the award goes to ... zzzz
Monday, March 8, 2010
Well, the 82nd annual Academy Awards have come and gone, and it was exactly the conveyor belt-like snoozer people said it would be. And a mostly boobless snoozer, to boot. Mostly.... Read more

Settle down
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
So topless model Kelly Brook is taking Jerry Hall’s place in the stage adaptation of the 2008 film Calendar Girls, and the article about it that doesn’t shout some variation of “KELLY BROOK COMPLETELY NAKED IN CALENDAR GIRLS” can scant be found. But don’t book your flight to London just yet.... Read more

Kelly Brook: Loaded or full of it?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Every now and then I read about this or that Apple ad being pulled from circulation in Britain on account of the “truth in advertising” laws in that country being stricter than they are here in the States. Apparently, however, such laws don’t apply to men’s magazines.... Read more

Kelly Brook, back in her bikini as God intended
Saturday, July 25, 2009
It’s been a whole month since Kelly Brook and her Vivacious spokesboobs have been out in public, and some of us have been left waiting like a cargo cult ever since for their return. But thanks to the beach-trolling paparazzi of southern France, that wait is finally over.... Read more

Kelly Brook making the world a better place
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Things are looking pretty bleak around the globe at the moment — Iran is in turmoil, Lil' Kim is rattling his nuclear saber again, the economy continues to swirl down the toilet bowl — what can one Brit once fired for being “too dumb” possibly do to help?... Read more

Porn Star Riley Steele Publicly Motorboats Kelly Brook’s Boobs
Monday, June 8, 2009
And you, too, can spontaneously and publicly nuzzle, suckle, or otherwise handle Kelly Brook’s ample breasts. Of course, certain restrictions apply:... Read more

Kelly Brook On How To Smell Like You Have E-Cups
Sunday, June 7, 2009
What separates British model/actress Kelly Brook’s “Vivacious” brand of perfume from other celebrity-endorsed perfumes? According to her official site’s recently posted infomercial, packaging. And if by that she means the famously ample curves she uses to sell her invisible product, then there may be such a thing as truth in advertising after all.... Read more

Film

• Piranha 3D (2010) .... Danni
• Three (2006) .... Jennifer
• Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005) .... Beautiful Woman in Painting
• House of 9 (2004) .... Lea
• School for Seduction (2004) .... Sophia
• Absolon (2003) .... Claire
• The Italian Job (2003) .... Lyle's Girlfriend
• Ripper: Letter from Hell (2001) .... Marisa
• Sorted (2000) .... Sarah

• Romy and Michele: In the Beginning (2005) .... Linda

• GMTV (Dec 3, 2004) .... Herself
• The Frank Skinner Show (Dec 2, 2004) .... Herself
• Smallville: “Leech” (Feb 12, 2002) .... Victoria Hardwick
• Smallville: “Hug” (Feb 5, 2002) .... Victoria Hardwick
• Smallville: “Shimmer” (Jan 29, 2002) .... Victoria Hardwick
• Smallville: “Rogue” (Jan 15, 2002) .... Victoria Hardwick
• Patrick Kielty... Almost Live! (Sep 1, 2001) .... Herself
• The Frank Skinner Show (Oct 30, 2000) .... Herself
• TFI Friday (Jun 16, 2000) .... Herself
• The Big Breakfast (1999-2000) .... Herself (Main Presenter)

Cyber Temples

• Kelly Brook Nude Celebrity Movie Reviews
  Mr. Skin
  Bio, filmography, and nude stills and clips from her films

Miscellaneous

• Kelly Brook Filmography
  Internet Movie Database
  Always up-to-date filmography
• Kelly Brook
  Wikipedia
  Kelly Brook in wikireality