Hilary Duff — The Iconophile

Hilary Duff

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Born Hilary Ann Duff, on Sep 28, 1987, in Houston, Texas, USA. Reportedly 5' 4".

There's something inherently creepy and Martha Stewartish about teen sensation Hilary Duff.

Sure, she's a cute, charismatic kid, and she may grow to be a full-fledged hot chick in a few years if she ever develops a chest, gracing us all with tight-shirted performances in various and sundry teen-exploitation flicks. But the more I read about her, the more I get the sense that Hilary Duff is not so much a person as a conglomeration of cross-promoting products marketed by her mother Susan, a woman who comes off in the press as a cross between Helen Kushnick and the Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom.

Most of all the hubbub surrounding Hilary, for those unaware that such a hubbub exists, stems from her starring role in the Disney Channel's monster hit Lizzie McGuire, which reportedly has a fanatical fan base of 9-to-15-year-old kids around the globe all clamoring to buy Lizzie-based novels, music, clothes, and anything else with her name or face on it. But like so many actors made popular by a role in a beloved show, the Duffs determined that Hilary had become bigger than Lizzie, that the latter should now be made to serve the former, with the result that The Lizzie McGuire Movie plays like an infomercial for Hilary's Britney Spears-like recording career, which will in turn shill for Stuff by Duff (Hilary's line of cosmetics and accessories), and now the whole future of the Lizzie franchise may be at an end on account of Susan wanting more money for the TV show and planned movie sequel.

What Susan and her product forget, of course, is that, just as a virus cannot long survive the host, so the popularity of an actor strongly associated with a particular show cannot long survive the show itself. (Recall the less than stellar careers of Pamela Anderson and Michael Richards after the shows that made them famous came to an end.) A career based on selling cross-promoting products may have worked well when the target audience was too young to be trusted with a credit card, but once it's old enough, my guess (or maybe just hope) is that Hilary's popularity will rest largely on nostalgia ... unless, of course, she finally develops some curves that could target an adult audience.

Also sprach Golem.
(More recent commentary below)

Late Bloomer
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Something’s happening to Hilary Duff — and she’s dressing to make sure we all know what it is.... Read more

Amanda Bynes Grows Up ... As Hilary Duff
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Starting this August, the new Amanda Bynes will be kicking the race to become the old Hilary Duff into high gear with the launch of a new clothing line called “Dear by Amanda Bynes”.... Read more

The Devil Wears Mattel
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Anyone who thinks that Hilary Duff is an empty-headed Barbie Doll whose fifteen minutes have long since expired must stand corrected: Very soon there’ll be an actual empty-headed Barbie Doll made in Hilary Duff’s likeness — The Red Carpet Glam Hilary Duff Doll — to prove to the world once and for all that, technically, we’ve all been wrong about her. From an AP article:... Read more

Buh-Bye
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
I think most of the world has reached this conclusion already, but now that Hilary Duff is 18 and can legally get naked on film, she’s also gotten offputtingly emaciated — and, to be honest, as scary-ugly as her sister. The pair of them will now officially be rooming with the Olsen twins in the Phantom Zone of Irrelevance.... Read more