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Born Shannon Elizabeth Fadal, Sep 7, 1973 (although she claims 1976), in Houston, Texas, USA. Reportedly 5' 9".
Remember Charlotte's Web? It was a story for kids in which a spider, hoping to save the life of her pig friend who was scheduled to be slaughtered for food, wove the words “Some Pig” over the pig's stall; when the farmer and his friends saw it, they were immediately convinced that this otherwise unremarkable pig was indeed “some pig”, and for a time the pig enjoyed a life of contests, pageants, and endless, mob-mentality praise.
Shannon Elizabeth, it seems to me, is another case of “some pig”.
Plucked out of virtual obscurity, her career future was saved between her sexpot role in the wildly popular American Pie and her nude Playboy pictorial. Now she's reportedly swamped with movie deals and people around the country can't seem to get enough of her. But is she really that remarkable that she should generate all this hubbub?
Let's be honest — face-wise, she's no Helen of Troy, although it depends a lot on where you see her. Her face looks great on the cover of Maxim — somehow those British men's magazines have figured out how to make everyone look good where other magazines haven't — but plain to awful in the pages of Playboy. Part of the problem is her smile: she has a cute half-smile, but her full smile, unsheathing what look like enormous teeth and a lot of gum, give her face an unsettling Joker-like appearance. No, the real reason Shannon has everyone foaming at the mouth is in fact the same reason unremarkably faced Laetitia Casta is so popular: hooters.
Yes, nothing says “some pig” like a pair of bared tits in a major motion picture. And like Charlotte's cynical web, there's so clearly nothing real in those carefully sculpted breasts except maybe the skin — for all her insistence to the contrary on The Howard Stern Show. I mean, for God's sake, they look hard enough to repel gunfire; they're the sort of implants that look great as clothed cleavage but, out on their own, are too clearly artificial to be taken seriously. In any case, they were a lot smaller in 1998's Dish Dogs than in the following year's American Pie. (See the “adult” galleries if you don't believe me.)
Of course, all this begs the question: Why on earth do I have Shannon here on The Iconophile?
Damned if I know. Perhaps I put her here simply for those pictures where she does look good. Maybe I, like everyone else, have temporarily fallen under the spell of the Emperor's New Tits. Maybe I really just like American Pie and have confused that with liking her. Hell, I've put Molly Ringwald on this site ... why not Shannon Elizabeth?
Also sprach Golem.
(More recent commentary below)
American Divorce
Monday, March 7, 2005
First trollish Bobcat Goldthwait and Las Vegas star Nikki Cox, then whore-hound Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, then American Pie star Chris Klein and reportedly near-frigid Katie Holmes, and now trollish Joseph Reitman and American Pie star Shannon Elizabeth are calling it quits.... Read more
Cursed
Friday, February 25, 2005
A fitting title for a werewolf flick whose pedigree so clearly includes Scream, An American Werewolf in London and a little Ginger Snaps, but whose writing lacks the cleverness of any of them. The warg-sized turd starring Christina Ricci and Shannon Elizabeth opens today, but you’d be well advised to wait for it to come to cable.... Read more
Shannon Elizabeth Weds
Saturday, June 15, 2002
Shannon Elizabeth, best known for her topless turn in the smash hit American Pie, just got married to actor Joe Reitman, best known for all the small roles Shannon got for him in her recent movies (Tomcats, American Pie 2, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back).... Read more
Shannon Elizabeth R.I.P.
Friday, January 4, 2002
For anyone who hasn’t heard the news yet, Shannon Elizabeth is signing contracts to keep her implants out of public scrutiny forever:... Read more
13 Ghosts, 0 Hooters
Friday, October 26, 2001
Since the “warning” of nudity has become part of the advertising campaign for 13 Ghosts, I should probably say for the record that anyone going to see the film hoping to see Shannon Elizabeth at her American Pie best will be gravely disappointed — the only nudity comes from one of the ghosts. Buyer beware.... Read more
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Sunday, August 26, 2001
How much longer will Shannon Elizabeth be able to keep her clothes on and still find work?... Read more
SHANNON ELIZABETH'S FILMOGRAPHY
* Titles in red feature Shannon in the raw *
Film
- The Grand (2007) .... Toni
- Deal (2006)
- Cursed (2005) .... Becky
- The Kid & I (2005) .... Shelby Roman
- Johnson Family Vacation (2004) .... Chrishelle Rene Babineau
- Love Actually (2003) .... Harriet, the sexy one
- Survivin' the Island (2002) .... Office worker
- 13 Ghosts (2001) .... Kathy Kriticos
- American Pie 2 (2001) .... Nadia
- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) .... Justice, Jewel Thief #2
- Tomcats (2001) .... Natalie
- Scary Movie (2000) .... Buffy Gellar
- American Pie (1999) .... Nadia
- Seamless: Kidz Rule (1999) .... Nicole
- Dish Dogs (1998) .... Anne/Antoinette
- Blast (1997) .... Hostage
- Jack Frost (1996) .... Jill Metzner
Cable
- Arli$$: “Crossing the Line” (Sep 18, 1996) .... Anya Slovachek
Made for Television Movies/Specials
- Confessions of an American Bride (2005) .... Sam
- The Crooked E: The Unshredded Truth About Enron (2003) .... Courtney Cruver
- Dying to Live (1999) .... Vanessa Canningham
- Blade Squad (1998) .... Nurse
Television
- King of the Hill: “Harlottown” (Nov 20, 2005) .... Candee [voice]
- Celebrity Poker Showdown (2004) .... Herself
- Politically Incorrect (Jul 15, 1999) .... Herself [guest]
- Pacific Blue: “Damaged Goods” (Oct 4, 1998) .... Jo
- My Generation (1998) .... Ex-girlfriend
- Step by Step: “Can’t Buy Me Love” (Oct 24, 1997) .... Cindi
- USA High: “Internet Love Story” (Aug 14, 1997) .... Melanie
- Hang Time: “Green-Eyed Julie” (Nov 23, 1996) .... Nicole
SHANNON ELIZABETH-RELATED ARTICLES
- Elizabeth’s Husband Wants Some Property
Associated Press (Mar 16, 2006)
- Hot Stuff: Shannon's Cipro Stash
Us Weekly (Nov 12, 2001)
- Cover Story
Animal Fair (Jun 2000)
Shannon Elizabeth — find out about this rising star, her rescued dogs, and new Scary Movie!
- Spellbound
Movieline (Jun 2000)
Scary Movie star Shannon Elizabeth falls into a trance at The Paramour Mansion in Hollywood.
- American Cutie
Maxim (Jan 2000)
In American Pie, Shannon Elizabeth's steamy solo scene made us long for sweet 16. Now, with a major new horror spoof in the can, the up-and-coming star is back for seconds.
SHANNON ELIZABETH-RELATED LINKS
Cyber Temples
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