From a middle-class American point of view, adult actress Uruka Kitamura is somewhat disturbing to look at.

The trouble is not that lone, wayward, Jewel-like tooth she has, which fortunately only shows when she smiles (something she does a lot — a rarity among Japanese porn actresses, who typically strive for a look ranging only from quiet suffering to grudging pleasure). Certainly it isn’t that she has an unusually svelte body for her comparatively generous cup size (most naturally big-busted Japanese porn actresses tend to run a little chunky), and is the closest thing in life to the idealized women of hentai cartoon porn. No, the problem with Uruka for someone living in neither Hollywood nor a trailer is that topping her made-for-porn body is a face that belongs on a twelve-year-old girl.

Not that this is an insurmountable hurdle, obviously. Sometimes a great bod’s a great bod, after all, even if it had the shrunken, undeveloped head of a fetus on top of it. And greasing the wheels on my journey to splitting the rent with Woody Allen and Roman Polanski are, of all things, the laughable titles to Uruka’s films, the absurd English of which never fail to make me smile, reminding me as they do of the “Mr. Sparkle” bit and Japanese vacation episode from The Simpsons. (I can’t help thinking that somewhere in her films, perhaps Be Covered Shameful Lady, vol. 17, she must share the line uttered by the electronic, talking toilet from The Simpsons: “I am honored to accept your waste”.)

NOTE: It’s a little unclear just when Uruka was born, but according to the web it’s either October 1, 1980 or September 9, 1977. Take your pick.

Also sprach Golem.

Adult Movies

• Double Arm Bar
• Be Covered Shameful Lady
• Big Breast Breeding
• Bukkake Bomb (Power Bomb)
• Cuty Bomber (Seductive Angel)
• Finisher
• First Impression
• Giant Swing
• Happy Date
• Happy Holiday
• Lax Bust Breast
• Leg Spread
• Mejiri
• Para Para Dance Naked
• Pink Dynamite Tits
• Playing Tits
• Puru Puru Channel
• School Girl Wife & Tits
• Sensitive Clits
• Sensitive Lecherous Play
• Sexfight
• Specialty Match
• The Busty Young Wife
• The Contrary Soap Heaven
• The Human Power Station
• Tits Love
• Top Rope Splash