Born Sheryl Knopf, on Feb 10, 1975, in Long Island, New York, USA. Reportedly 5' 6.5", 34C/D-25.5-35.5.

Once upon a time, this site was known only for its pictures and movie clips.

Later, a lot of people started taking notice of the silly commentaries, believe it or not, and a new, unlikely attraction was born: the ever long, ever vitriolic hate mail page. Many people have claimed to like it even more than they like the pictures.

More recently, though, I've been getting a lot of email quoting portions of my "summary dismissal of recent celebrity requests" section on my FAQ page — and then making still more celebrity requests. The weird thing is that some people seem to make their requests not so much to see if I'll really add their idols to my site, but to see me reject them like a finicky rich guy in a bordello. ("Number three won't do at all, send her away — and bring in number four.")

Now perhaps I'm wrong about that, but one thing I'm not wrong about is that sometimes I dismiss people a wee too quickly. Carla Gugino leaps to mind. Someone suggested that I put her on the site a while back; I had never heard of her, but after finding the one or two bad pictures she had floating around the web at the time, I decided then and there to pass. It wasn't until I saw her again in Jaded (by which time I had completely forgotten about her) that I realized that Carla was someone I could easily get into.

Of course, when you're inundated every other day with more requests than you can possibly get to, snap judgements quickly become a webmaster's best friend, and the lesson of Carla Gugino is just as quickly forgotten.

So one day in December of 2000 I get an email from someone named Sascha Knopf. I've never heard of her, but apparently she's something of an icon among fans of Vampirella comics, and she feels she'd be a nice addition to the site. I take a look at the attached photos. Attractive woman, I guess, but for the most part the vamp look never really did it for me, since one vamp looks pretty much like another and the severe make-up tends to make the face appear too harsh for my taste. (Rose McGowan is an exception.) Even the non-vampish photos she sent don't do much for me. So I thank this Sascha person for her photos, explain that the celebrities featured on my site were not put there because of their beauty or obscurity per se but for various idiosyncratic reasons (witness my Molly Ringwald page), that I had unfortunately never gotten into the Vampirella scene and so never got the chance to become a fan of hers like I might otherwise have, and wish her luck with her upcoming appearances in FHM, Playboy, and the movie What's the Worst that Could Happen?

"Bring in number five..."

Well, it's the end of May 2001 at the time of this posting, and boy, do I feel like an idiot.

Trolling about celebrity newsgroups as I often do, I happened on a few pictures of some buxom brunette I had never seen before, and right away knew that I had to put her on my site. And see whatever film she was in. And buy the magazine the scan came from. And otherwise be a complete fanboy geek. Then I saw the name — Sascha Knopf — and as I set off to find whatever I could on her, I gradually came to realize that this was the same person I politely blew off some five or six months ago.

Whoops.

Now the full folly of my lack of vision has come to kick me in the ass, I realized. If I had let myself see through all the Elvira-like foundation back in December, perhaps now I'd be featuring exclusive photos, interviews, stolen Pam-and-Tommy-Lee-style video footage — who knows? But no, instead I have the same stuff every other site on the net has — or will have. Idiot!

Sascha described herself as “almost famous” in her email. Presumably now she'll be able to drop the “almost” from her title. Meanwhile, I almost had first dibs on her enticing post-vamp look (which is to say her FHM look, which is what got me to post her) ... but I blew it.

But did I learn from this catastrophe, at least? Will I now think twice before rubber-stamping "REJECTED" on new celebrity suggestions on account of a few bad photos? Will I, perhaps, take a moment to consider an actress' other, less tangible qualities, things besides her immediate beauty or place in my cable-watching history?

Of course not. Don't be silly.

Also sprach Golem.
(More recent commentary below)

He Was a Quiet Man
Friday, March 16, 2007
Frank Cappello’s He Was a Quiet Man, a dark and quirky comedy about an office drudge who resolves to go out in a blaze of glory, has many good, funny parts. But sometimes the parts of something are greater than the whole.... Read more

Sascha Knopf Enters the Blogosphere
Monday, February 20, 2006
“I’m a geek, always have been,” Sascha Knopf once declared in an email to me in 2001.... Read more

At the Movies with Sascha Knopf
Friday, January 13, 2006
Believe it or not, there are a few actresses on this site from whom we instinctively know not to expect great things.... Read more

Looking for Mr. Right.com
Monday, November 12, 2001
“In what parallel universe do computer geeks look anything like Keanu Reeves?” a friend once asked me as she set about demonstrating that The Matrix was completely implausible.... Read more

Heavy Is the Chest That Wears the Boobs
Tuesday, November 6, 2001
For every unbelievable bustline in Hollywood, there’s an equally unbelievable creation myth to explain it.... Read more

Fate Works in Mysterious Ways
Tuesday, July 17, 2001
Given how this page got started, it may come as a surprise that my latest updates to the picture gallery and selection of articles came from none other than Sascha Knopf herself, who’s quite possibly the friendliest (and most good-humored) person featured on this site that I’ve been contacted by. (Stacia Zhivago was the previous record-holder.)... Read more

Film

• Expiration Date (2006) .... Bessie
• He Was a Quiet Man (2006) .... Paula
• Death by Engagement (2005) .... Rikki Moore
• The Pleasure Drivers (2005) .... Amity
• The Trade (2003) .... Nikki Torman
• Me and Daphne (2002) .... Daphne
• The Believer (2001) .... Cindy Pomerantz
• Shallow Hal (2001) .... Tanya
• What's the Worst That Could Happen? (2001) .... Tracey Kimberly [nude only in British DVD deleted scenes]
• BlackMale (1999) .... Heather
• Final Rinse (1999) .... Harriet
• Fishes Outta Water (1998) .... Heather
• Zero Stress (1998) .... Mimi
• Domain (1997) .... Samantha

• ER: “‘Twas the Night” (Dec 9, 2004) .... Raphaella Greenberg
• The Test (June 2001) .... Herself

• Blazin (2001) .... Samantha

• Playmate Seeks Similar
  Arena (Nov 2001)
  She's a great Playmate and an even better actress. She could also be the world's most unlikely single woman.
• Profile: Sascha Knopf
  Brntwd Magazine (June 2001)
  Indie graduate Sascha Knopf moves on
• Reporter: Sascha Knopf
  FHM (Jun 2001)
  Freed from posing as a vampire in dingy convention halls, Sascha is getting some light on her face in this summer's What's the Worst that Could Happen?
• Interview of the Week: Sascha Knopf
  Steppin Out Magazine (May 30, 2001)

Cyber Temples

• Sascha Knopf Nude Celebrity Movie Reviews
  Mr. Skin
  Bio, filmography, and nude stills and clips from her films
• Sascha’s Blog
  Sascha discovers photography and iWeb
• Sascha’s MySpace Page
• SaschaKnopf.com
  Her official site

Miscellaneous

• Sascha Knopf for The Sims 2
  An attempt at making Sascha into a Sim
• Horror Scream Queen Sascha Knopf
• Sascha Knopf Filmography
  Internet Movie Database
  Always up-to-date filmography