Born Kimberley Katherine (Kay) Smith, on Mar 2, 1983, in Houston, Texas, USA . Reportedly 5' 9", 34-24-34.

They say that in Hollywood a male celebrity of means can and often does pick his next girlfriend from the pages of the current month's fashion magazines or catalogs. He has his agent contact the model's agent to let him know that “Mr. X would very much like to share a dinner with Ms. Y.” Another move is: “Mr. X prefers to get to know his guests before they go on the show. When would be a good time for Ms. Y to meet him over dinner?” It's through such devices that John Stamos got Rebecca Romijn and Michael Douglas got Catherine Zeta-Jones, and it's the sort of decadence that frequently gets lampooned on The Howard Stern Show.

Well, in late October of 1999, the King of All Media separated from his wife of the last 20 or so years, and by the following February he was on the air trying to remember which magazine it was whose cover model he wanted producer Gary Dell'Abate (aka “Baba Booey”) to book for a date — er, show.

“Gary, get me some magazines!” Howard commanded. There was someone on the cover of Details magazine he was fairly sure was his type.

Hardly a moment passed before Gary bounded into the studio with the February crop of periodical poon. “Oh, GQ!” Howard corrected himself, but after studying the cover a few seconds changed his mind. “I'll tell you who I like is: the chick on the cover of Playboy! 'Caprice'!” And like a police computer for cross-checking suspects, Gary immediately began rattling off her rap sheet: “She's a Swedish model...” he began.

“Oh, Swedish? I don't want anyone with an accent,” Howard decreed, explaining that “accents get real old real fast.”

It was at that moment that Gary realized what his boss wanted — what he needed. “I'll tell you what you need, Howard,” he blurted out excitedly, “Maxim magazine has a swimsuit issue. With about eight women in there who you've never seen or heard of before...”

Howard leafed through the magazine and quickly found someone he liked, then just as quickly ruled her out.

But Gary already had someone else in mind, someone he knew would be perfect, and stuck a picture of her in Howard's face.

“Who's that?” Howard asked.

“Kim Smith from Texas,” he announced as if she were arriving royalty.

Howard was unimpressed.

A few more candidates were considered, but none could fit into Howard's ever-changing glass slipper. “Too much work,” he declared of one. “She looks foreign to me,” he remarked of another. But Gary was persistent, and continued to push for Kim Smith, a model whom Gear declared “the Next Big Thing” following in the steps of Laetitia Casta. “I could call Kim Smith and book her on the show next week if you wanted that,” he kept offering. “She's very cute.” He even proposed various lines he could use on his boss' behalf, including “Howard's in mourning and the only way he can feel better is to date women half his age.”

Howard had his reservations about the age issue (“Kim Smith is 17, they're telling me”), but quickly enough got over them. “You know, I gotta date a 17 year old. That'd be cool. Like Jerry Seinfeld. ‘Hey, I'm sure we have a lot in common...’”

“Joe Piscopo dated a young girl, and look, it worked out,” Gary chimed in, but after more scheming and a resolution to seek advice on the matter from Donald Trump, he eventually warned, “Just don't let it affect the show.”

With a few exceptions, I tend not to be into models much myself, and I had been sitting on the fence regarding Kim ever since I picked up a copy of Maxim in late January. (I'm such a sucker for big-chested brunettes, it's pathetic.) But the silliness on Stern sealed the deal. Kim may or may not in fact be the Next Big Thing — she may not even be Howard's Next Big Thing — but whatever happens to her, she'll always have a place here on The Iconophile.

Also sprach Golem.

Film

• Catwoman (2004) .... Drina
• Van Wilder: Party Liaison (2001) .... Casey

• The Sausage Factory: “JC, the Gay Model” (Feb 4, 2002) .... Herself
• The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn (Aug 10, 2001) .... Herself

• Models Inc.
  Gear (Jan/Feb 2000)
  The Guess company know a beautiful woman when they see one (Claudia Schiffer, Laetitia Casta etc.) Their latest recruit is no exception. Prepare for the rise and rise of Kim Smith.

Cyber Temples

• Kim Smith Celebrity Movie Reviews
  Mr. Skin
  Bio, filmography, and stills from her films
• Kim Smith
  Wikipedia
  Kim Smith in wikireality