Denise Files for Divorce from Charlie Sheen

My God, if Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen can’t make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

But seriously, if there’s anything surprising about this news, it’s that it’s taken this long — and two kids, I believe — for it to happen. Perhaps if that kid from Punk’d — the one that asked Denise, “What’s it like playing a smart person?” — were present at the wedding when the minister asked if anyone had any objections, this terrible, terrible tragedy could have been averted.