When The Black Dahlia was being promoted, there was a story put out that “critics have complained they found it difficult to concentrate following [Scarlett’s] raunchy scene”. That turned out to be a load of B.S. Now a similar story is being floated in Page Six to stir up interest in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. How many times do they expect us to keep buying this?

SAPPHIC STEAM
SCARLETT Johansson (below) has a steamy lesbian sex scene with Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen’s upcoming Vicky Cristina Barcelona. A source tells us: “It is also extremely erotic. People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and it will leave the audience gasping.” The women later have a threesome with Javier Bardem (below), who plays Cruz’s husband.

One word that’s conspicuously missing from the hype: nudity. Every actress and her sister since Roseanne back in the 90s has already made out with other actresses; if Scarlett’s hype machine can’t report anything better than that (confirmed toplessness, Brown Bunny-like fellatio, or, God forbid, a good movie), then it can keep its empty insinuations to itself. I for one am no longer listening.