Friday, January 22, 2010
Meh
More and more, seeing the new Scarlett Johansson ads for Mango is like seeing a poster for a sequel to 300 in which all the famously ripped Spartans now have beer guts.
 Gerard Butler in 2010 vs. Gerard Butler in 2006
If you’ve ever seen Scarlett before 2009, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
 Scarlett Johansson in 2009 vs. Scarlett Johansson in 2006
When the people at Mango landed Scarlett Johansson as their new spokesmodel, they probably thought as anyone would have that they were getting the Scarlett that everyone knew and loved, the one whose remarkable rack had hypnotized the world, momentarily turned gay men straight, and even distracted Scarlett herself in traffic.
But sometime in 2009, Scarlett underwent a profound metamorphosis, the result of which is disappointingly clear with each new melonless Mango ad: Scarlett’s signature figure is gone.
But since most people still remember a more abundant Scarlett, I wonder if they don’t assume that her new, underwhelming appearance isn’t an optical illusion created by the cut of the clothes and conclude that Mango is a line of clothing best avoided.
It’s not that Scarlett now isn’t appealing. It’s that where she was remarkable before, she’s unremarkable now. Pretty, but unremarkable. Certainly no one would toss her out of bed.
But they might still sigh and wonder, “What the hell happened to Scarlett’s 300 rack?”
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