Shannon Elizabeth R.I.P.

For anyone who hasn’t heard the news yet, Shannon Elizabeth is signing contracts to keep her implants out of public scrutiny forever:

Shannon Elizabeth Implements No Nudity Contract
American Pie beauty Shannon Elizabeth is fed up of taking her clothes off on the big screen. The skinny beauty who famously almost bares all in the teen comedy which rocketed her to fame, now has a no nudity clause in all her contracts. Elizabeth says she wants to be hired for her acting talent not her body. She says, “All I care about right now is finding something that I like that I haven’t done before — a different role, a different look. I’m going to do the roles that no one expects me to do.”

What will audiences’ response to this be? Probably something along the lines of “buh-bye” (à la the old Saturday Night Live skits) while they await the next naked starlet to bounce about the big screen.

Not to worry, though: after five or so years of being ignored at the box office, expect Shannon to start finding those rare scripts where “the nudity was essential to the story”.