Time-traveling with Tara Reid and Playboy

“Once you jack off to Japanese girls puking in each other’s mouths, you can’t exactly go back to Playboy” Stan’s dad explains in a 2008 episode of South Park in which the Internet disappears. It looks like Tara Reid’s hoping that the rest of us have no Internet connection, either.

And not just because we’re unlikely to pick up the January/February issue of Playboy if we have access to better porn online — the Internet’s also where photos of her botched cosmetic surgeries continue to circulate. “People only show old pictures which is so unfair,” Tara laments in the text accompanying her topless pictorial, “And that’s part of the reason why I did the Playboy shoot — to show the world this is me and this is what I look like.”

Tara Reid is certainly not the first actress to turn to Playboy for a career time machine, but a casual glance at the cover on which she appears — which also offers such anachronistic topics as Kate Moss, the 60s, the birth of the Mob, and Sean Combs — it seems that the Playboy time machine itself wishes it had a time machine.