The Iconophile

Renee Olstead's eye-popping cleavage raises hopes for Congo

Golem — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:27:05 -0800

There are many things civil war has left the Congolese bereft of for too long: food, medicine, stability ... and, apparently, brow-raising boobs. Thank God for Renee Olstead, then, who was able to provide one of those items yesterday at the Raise Hope for Congo event. I'll leave it to the Reader to divine which one.

Kelly Brook making the world a better place

Golem — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 10:21:56 -0800

Things are looking pretty bleak around the globe at the moment -- Iran is in turmoil, Lil' Kim is rattling his nuclear saber again, the economy continues to swirl down the toilet bowl -- what can one Brit once fired for being 'too dumb' possibly do to help?

'Untitled Bounty Hunter Project' to premiere ... now

Golem — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:25:54 -0800

Despite all the criticism that Hollywood's economic woes have more to do with the dreck it keeps serving up than movie piracy or the ailing economy, there are some good movies out there -- even nowadays. Is Jennifer Aniston's 'Untitled Bounty Hunter Project' one of them? Who cares? Snaps of Jennifer on the set in tight tops are out now, which is all most of us are interested in seeing from her anyway.

A nipple is a terrible thing to waste

Golem — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 11:14:54 -0800

Much attention has been paid to Heather Graham's recent pokey appearance at the UK premiere of The Hangover, but Christina Ricci, too, has a history of rolling with her high beams on, as she did last night at the premiere of Paper Man

Nice rack on that broomstick!

Golem — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:21:30 -0800

As I recall, there were three characters in the 'Sorcerer's Apprentice' segment from Fantasia: the sorcerer, the apprentice, and the broomsticks. Guess which one Monica Bellucci and her cleavage are playing in the upcoming remake.

Pieces of Jennifer's Body

Golem — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:23:06 -0800

It's sad, but true: the older a celebrity gets, the less most of us remember why we like them. And with Friends having been off the air for quite a while now, it's good that Jennifer Aniston gets out now and then to remind us why people watched that vapid show in the first place -- boobs.

Better to Remain Silent and Thought a Fool...

Golem — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 13:07:38 -0800

Ever notice how the threat of land sharks hasn't been mentioned much since Saturday Night Live brought it to national attention in the 70s? That's because their population has been dwindling ever since then, and is now at dangerously low levels. Luckily for the people of Oklahoma, Jessica Alba is on the case.

A Dish Best Served Chilly

Golem — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 11:10:25 -0800

Heather Graham is at that age and cup size where she generally looks best in a bra. But there's something to be said for going commando, too -- especially when it's cold out -- and that something was threatening to poke out the eyes of the paparazzi at the British premiere of The Hangover.

Porn Star Riley Steele Publicly Motorboats Kelly Brook's Boobs

Golem — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 00:29:59 -0800

And you, too, can spontaneously and publicly nuzzle, suckle, or otherwise handle Kelly Brook's ample breasts. Of course, certain restrictions apply:

Kelly Brook On How To Smell Like You Have E-Cups

Golem — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 11:58:32 -0800

What separates British model/actress Kelly Brook's 'Vivacious' brand of perfume from other celebrity-endorsed perfumes? According to her official site's recently posted infomercial, packaging. And if by that she means the famously ample curves she uses to sell her invisible product, then there may be such a thing as truth in advertising after all.

The Spirit of Laetitia Casta

Golem — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:25:43 -0800

To be hot in Italy is to inevitably invite comparison to Sophia Loren; to be hot in France is to be hailed as the new Brigitte Bardot. Semi-retired supermodel Laetitia Casta, whose face and boobs have already stood in for Bardot's in the form of France's 'Marianne' busts, will now be channeling the rest of her on the big screen.

Oh My Friggin' God, It's Megan Fox! (And Not in a Good Way)

Golem — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 14:24:33 -0800

The vacancy left some years ago by Angelina Jolie had to be filled by somebody, I realize, but is Megan Fox really The One?

The Hottest Mila

Golem — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:35:19 -0800

Ah, to be young forever. Who wouldn't want that? At 26, maybe Mila Kunis.

Heather Graham's Boobs Are Still a Bankable Commodity

Golem — Sat, 30 May 2009 14:05:45 -0800

Not every movie can be a winner, especially if your're Heather Graham, who hasn't been in anything of note for nearly a decade now. But sometimes the best part about movies -- especially the independent ones few will ever see -- are the endless boob-centered photo ops used to promote them. And in Heather's case, the thumbs are still up. Mostly.

The Secret Life of Renee Olstead

Golem — Fri, 29 May 2009 03:22:53 -0800

Much has been made in the press about the growing crop of dangerously malnourished actresses in Hollywood, and the cliche is that the business itself pressures them to starve themselves like that. But I'm starting to think that this same body-image obsessed business pressured emaciated Renee Olstead to gain weight last year.

The Awful Truth about Kat and Dogs

Golem — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 22:46:05 -0800

I have seen Katherine Heigl's future, and its name is Janeane Garofalo.

If Michelle Williams Strips and Simulates Sex in a Forest but No One's Watching, Is She Still Naked?

Golem — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:55:14 -0800

Michelle Williams has gotten more naked and more sexually explicit than ever before, but unless you're British or in the habit of trolling for celebrity nudity on the Internet, you'd probably never know about it.

Welcome to the Dollhouse. Now go home.

Golem — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 14:30:53 -0800

In case you were one of those people who had something to do on Valentine's day besides watch TV (and apparently that was most of you), Eliza Dushku's much ballyhooed return to the small screen in Dollhouse came and went with nary a ripple in the ratings pool.

Eliza Dushku Topless: A Festivus Miracle for the Rest of Us

Golem — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 16:30:56 -0800

The end has been nigh for Eliza Dushku ever since Buffy went off the air, but now, after five years of false starts, she's finally seen the light and found her true calling: topless object of meat-beating veneration, as the handful of people who went to see The Alphabet Killer now know.

What a Difference a Sandwich Makes

Golem — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 09:41:44 -0800

The unemployment rate is higher now than it's been in six years, gas is becoming like the flame in Quest for Fire, but people who remember who Renee Olstead is still have cause for hope: through the magic and mystery of eating, Renee apparently got her boobs back.

Still Wanted?

Golem — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 12:37:01 -0800

Until Angelina Jolie's emaciated legs are no longer the same thickness as her emaciated arms, it's time for her to stop playing the Hot Chick in movies.

Late Bloomer

Golem — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:10:29 -0800

Something's happening to Hilary Duff -- and she's dressing to make sure we all know what it is.

The Eternal Sunshine of the Inebriated Mind Goes Dark

Golem — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 16:01:03 -0800

There was, of course, no way to foresee this, but apparently drugs, alcohol, and Spider-Man money do not a good mix make.

More 'Scarlett Johansson Nude' Hype

Golem — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 12:35:58 -0800

When The Black Dahlia was being promoted, there was a story put out that 'critics have complained they found it difficult to concentrate following [Scarlett's] raunchy scene'. That turned out to be a load of B.S. Now a similar story is being floated in Page Six to stir up interest in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. How many times do they expect us to keep buying this?

The Truth About Love

Golem — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 14:13:30 -0800

Groan all you want at the special effects on The Ghost Whisperer, but if you haven't been noticing the monstrous size of Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass of late, then the show's most important visual effect is working just fine.

Did Renee Olstead Get Breast Reduction Surgery?

Golem — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 18:25:31 -0800

After the cancellation of Still Standing, Renee Olstead still had two things going for her. But now, before anyone could ask 'Who the hell is Renee Olstead?', both those things have disappeared.

How Is This Not Cheating?

Golem — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 12:21:28 -0800

People have been so delighted with actress Jennifer Tilly's winning streak in tournament poker these last few years that they've neglected to point out one thing: that she's cheating.

The Talented Ms. Alba

Golem — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:50:07 -0800

So Good Luck Chuck had a so-so opening weekend, and some people are starting to wonder why Jessica Alba gets paid so much. But the beauty of being beautiful is that, from Marilyn Monroe onward, you're always a success whether you succeed or not.

The Clipping of Rose McGowan

Golem — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 10:22:26 -0800

As a huge, dorky fanboy of hers ever since The Doom Generation, I didn't want to believe this, but now the days of kidding myself are officially over: The disturbingly artificial look of Rose McGowan's face of late is not a side effect of really bad diet, but really bad surgery.

Till the Credit-Rolling Do Us Part

Golem — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 15:06:05 -0800

It was announced today that former Brokeback Mountain stars Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams are splitting up. Is anyone really surprised?

Christa Campbell in Next Month's Playboy

Golem — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:27:00 -0800

The headline across the top of the September issue of Playboy reads 'THRILLER! CHRISTA CAMPBELL NAKED'. And as a B-movie aficionado, I guess I'm duly thrilled ... but is anyone else?

Amanda Bynes Grows Up ... As Hilary Duff

Golem — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 19:24:28 -0800

Starting this August, the new Amanda Bynes will be kicking the race to become the old Hilary Duff into high gear with the launch of a new clothing line called 'Dear by Amanda Bynes'.

Amanda Bynes Is Finally Eating Again

Golem — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 18:01:05 -0800

I couldn't be sure when I saw her at the recent VH-1 Young Hollywood Awards, but as of yesterday's MTV Movie Awards it's become clear that Amanda Bynes has finally gone off whatever Olsen Twin diet she was on for the last three years and is back on food.

Angelina Jolie Comes to Brad's Premiere As Treebeard

Golem — Fri, 25 May 2007 14:05:27 -0800

Who knew Angelina Jolie was such a Tolkien fan? First there was the Ring inscription tattooed on her arm, and now her arms themselves look like they belong to the talking tree people from The Lord of the Rings.

Seriously, When Has There Not Been Something About Jessica?

Golem — Wed, 23 May 2007 13:14:28 -0800

Not that I'm complaining, but ever since Jessica Alba so solemnly declared that she was done with sexy roles and photoshoots a couple years ago, her roles and photoshoots have not only continued to capitalize on her sex appeal, but have gotten even more sexually suggestive.

Whither Now the Cast of Gilmore Girls?

Golem — Fri, 18 May 2007 18:10:30 -0800

Now that CW has finally rid itself of Gilmore Girls (along with 7th Heaven and Veronica Mars) and filled the vacuum with more reality show dreck, what will become of Stars Hollow's newly unemployed?

Is Recanting the New Self-Promotion?

Golem — Thu, 10 May 2007 16:15:56 -0800

In the spirit of Hillary Clinton's proposal to hit the do-over button on her vote for the Iraq war, soon-to-be-unemployed Jamie-Lynn Sigler denounced her own album Here to Heaven in this month's issue of Vegas magazine ... six years after the fact.

The Gifts That Keep On Giving

Golem — Sun, 06 May 2007 21:22:24 -0800

Is there any better way to celebrate the gift of life than with eye-popping cleavage on young singer/actresses? The cumulative wisdom of 28 years of The Annual Gift of Life Tribute Celebration answers with a resounding 'No'.

The Shrinking Appeal of Spider-Man 3

Golem — Sun, 06 May 2007 19:12:26 -0800

Well, it's official: at $148 million in three days, Spider-Man 3 is the most popular creation since the wheel, and not even the tidal wave of illegal DVD copies of it currently flooding Asia has kept anyone away from the theater. So why am I content to wait for cable?

The Agony and the Ecstasy of Coachella 2007

Golem — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 12:19:37 -0800

Coachella is having its regular three-day music festival right now, and I coudn't be more frustrated.

Recovering From Grindhouse

Golem — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 14:37:54 -0800

Alright, so Grindhouse is a huge, 75 million dollar bomb, and everyone has his theory why -- some say it's too long, some say it too closely imitates the dreck of a bygone era, and some say there's simply no substitute for the charm of actual dreck.

Daddy's Little Girl

Golem — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 05:20:58 -0800

Most parents are obnoxious in their love of bearing witness to every milestone in their kid's life -- their first bowel movement, their first word, their first step, and so on. And in Thora Birch's case, first sex scene.

Six Degrees Is Back ... But Why?

Golem — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 13:36:45 -0800

At a time when so many other shows are being yanked off the air, why is Six Degrees -- which so few people watched that it was canceled after only six episodes -- being brought back?

Spector Trial to Get the OJ Treatment

Golem — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 22:04:33 -0800

Anyone who thought that justice had more or less been thwarted in the Phil Spector case after four years of suspicious postponements must now renew their faith in the system: not only did jury selection begin today, but, after a month-long recess, the trial might even be on television.

He Was a Quiet Man

Golem — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 18:02:39 -0800

Frank Cappello's He Was a Quiet Man, a dark and quirky comedy about an office drudge who resolves to go out in a blaze of glory, has many good, funny parts. But sometimes the parts of something are greater than the whole.

Andy Sidaris Dies at 76

Golem — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 14:18:15 -0800

It's been a long, long time since I've seen an Andy Sidaris flick, but his death on Wednesday seems to me no less than the death of a happier, more hopeful era.

Salma Hayek Knocked Up

Golem — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 01:10:26 -0800

'I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than I do,' Salma Hayek once said. And now, it seems, she's not only found such a man, but is carrying his kid.

Leaving Las Vegas

Golem — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 11:06:41 -0800

I'm not sure which is the more surprising news: that James Caan is leaving NBC's Las Vegas, that Nikki Cox is getting fired from Las Vegas, or that Las Vegas is in fact still on the air.

Finally, a Wardrobe Malfunction Worth Seeing

Golem — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 17:46:33 -0800

From Janet Jackson to Tara Reid, the trouble with 'wardrobe malfunction' hooplah is that the boob in the spotlight is never one most of us want to see. That is, until Leelee Sobieski took the stage at the Directors Guild of America Awards to announce the winner for daytime TV.

Where Are They Now?

Golem — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 11:43:31 -0800

Remember when Denise Richards's boobs were the best thing about her? What happened?

A Dame To Kill For, But Not To Wait For

Golem — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 15:08:35 -0800

A year ago, Rosario Dawson announced in a radio interview that director Robert Rodriguez would wait out Angelina Jolie's pregnancy to cast her as Ava Lord, the titular 'Dame To Kill For' in Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For.

Will Phil Spector Get Death?

Golem — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 11:31:24 -0800

It's been hard to keep up with the whirlwind trial of Phil Spector -- if anyone remembers, he was accused of killing actress Lana Clarkson four years ago -- but it was announced today that jury selection for the trial will now finally commence.

Vivid's Queen of Porn To Be Played By Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive

Golem — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 11:35:58 -0800

Unlike the rest of the world (and probably the universe), I was never into Jenna Jameson, except, perhaps, as an interview personality. But Scarlett Johansson as Jenna Jameson? That I could get into. And now, it seems, it just might happen.

Page 3 Icon Keeley Hazell Makes Sex Video

Golem — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 12:32:18 -0800

The day every male Brit has been waiting for has come at last: A video showing Keeley Hazell having sex is floating around the web.

The O.C. Officially Out of Juice

Golem — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 14:15:56 -0800

Well, it's finally happened: The once beloved teen soap that made stars out of Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton and gave a renewed lease on life to Melinda Clarke before it lost touch with what made it popular will air its last episode on February 22.

Too Little, Too Late

Golem — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 11:54:22 -0800

According to an item from Contact Music, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, who had vowed never to appear nude on camera, now says she's open to the idea. Maybe. If it's important and necessary for the film. And if she's drunk enough.

Our Lady of the Check-Out Line

Golem — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 17:13:58 -0800

A few months back I wondered what had happened to Angelina Jolie, the crazy/hot Angelina we all knew and loved. I thought I had the issue nailed until I saw the brilliantly consise, definitive answer painted in living color by artist Kate Kretz. Wickedly on-target.

Nikki Cox Marries Jay Mohr

Golem — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 16:01:13 -0800

OK, so we all know that Nikki Cox likes funny guys -- that being the other, less obvious thing she has in common with Jessica Rabbit ('He makes me laugh'). God knows there's no other way to explain her long-running previous engagement to comedian Bobcat Goldthwait. Or her two-year engagement to comedian Jay Mohr. Or her marriage to him today.

Victoria Principal Sheds 200 Unwanted Pounds ... By Divorcing Them

Golem — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 10:36:01 -0800

Victoria Principal, the wild-child-turned-actress-turned-fitness-and-skin-care-guru, whose character in the long-running Dallas infamously negated an entire season when it was revealed that she had dreamt it all, has just officially negated two decades of marriage to plastic surgeon Harry Glassman.

Eww

Golem — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 17:00:10 -0800

Judging from Tara Reid's still mangled midriff, I guess that corrective trip back to the lipo clinic in September didn't take.

Angelina Now Ambassador for the North Pole

Golem — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 16:34:45 -0800

In her capacity as ambassador for the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees, Angelina Jolie and husband Brad Pitt made a quick and unannounced visit to San Jose, Costa Rica to hand out Christmas presents to Colombian war refugees.

Marilu Henner Marries for Third Time

Golem — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 17:28:30 -0800

I understand the need for companionship and grand, romantic gestures, but when you're 54 years old, have been married twice, and already have kids, maybe a third marriage really isn't what you need.

The Devil Wears Mattel

Golem — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 16:46:18 -0800

Anyone who thinks that Hilary Duff is an empty-headed Barbie Doll whose fifteen minutes have long since expired must stand corrected: Very soon there'll be an actual empty-headed Barbie Doll made in Hilary Duff's likeness -- The Red Carpet Glam Hilary Duff Doll -- to prove to the world once and for all that, technically, we've all been wrong about her.

The Ghost Whisperer Gets Real

Golem — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 11:49:35 -0800

Sooner or later, reality always bites you in the ass. And in Jennifer Love Hewitt's case, it can't miss.

New Children To Be Bussed In For Angelina

Golem — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 10:11:04 -0800

Just when U.S. colleges are starting to abandon their long-standing affirmative action programs for admissions, Angelina Jolie has declared that she wants to adopt more children on the basis of race to balance out her 'mixed-race family', predicting that her Asian and African children will be unable to relate to anyone else in the family who isn't also Asian or African.

Angelina Speaks Out On Brad, Jennifer, And All That

Golem — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 10:01:56 -0800

In another plug for an upcoming film treated as a startling expose, Vogue magazine finally reveals what Angelina Jolie has repeatedly told everyone else since filming Mr. & Mrs. Smith: that everything was above board with her and Brad while he was still married to Jennifer Aniston. At last the official truth comes out ... again.

Keeping Hope Alive

Golem — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 15:03:43 -0800

We've heard it from her before, but just in case the world forgot her willingness to stop teasing it and get naked already, Scarlett Johansson took a moment to remind us.

Pam to Divorce Kid Rock

Golem — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 21:11:39 -0800

Life lesson: The more times one gets married to the same former rock star in the same year, the less likely any of those marriages are going to stick.

The Fast and the Bi-Curious

Golem — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 11:41:29 -0800

Well, well, well. Turns out those Bloodrayne rumors were true after all: babehound Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3, The 'L' Word) recently told The Advocate that she and what she jokingly referred to as 'the very hot housekeeper' (i.e., Michelle Rodriguez) are indeed an item.

Disappearance Act

Golem — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 11:38:24 -0800

Like with so many other actresses nowadays, Thora Birch appears to be on a strict all-coke diet. Great news for whoever it is out there that still finds the Olsen twins hot. Terrible news for the rest of us.

Pamela Confirms Miscarriage

Golem — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 09:01:15 -0800

Us Weekly reports that Pamela Anderson suffered a miscarriage late last week, presumably with husband Kid Rock's child. How did this happen?

Six Degrees of Cancelation

Golem — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 10:04:59 -0800

I love watching Erika Christensen and her eye-popping physique as much as the next breast-obsessed perv, but though I've TiVoed every episode of Six Degrees that's aired so far, I still haven't found motivation enough to actually sit down and watch them. Apparently no one else has, either.

Jeri's Conversation Pieces

Golem — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 11:10:32 -0800

Shark might be one of the worst shows on the tube right now, and given how quickly other, less crappy shows have already been pulled off the air recently, I'm surprised Jeri Ryan had opportunity comment on the role her boobs play on the set.

Reese, Ryan, and The Seven Year Itch

Golem — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 11:05:30 -0800

It's been announced today that Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe have formally separated after seven years of marriage. Which is a pretty good run for marriages these days -- especially Hollywood marriages -- and if there's any surprise, it's that it didn't happen sooner.

Scarlett Does Tom Waits

Golem — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 14:53:09 -0800

Don't get me wrong -- like most of the world, I love Scarlett Johansson. And like some of the world, I love Tom Waits. But like most of the world, while I accept it when someone famous as a singer decides to act (as when Tom Waits does), I usually roll my eyes whenever someone more famous as an actor decides to sing (Bruce Willis, Russell Crowe, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Bacon, and, more recently and laughably, Jared Leto).

Tomayto, Tomahto, And Promiscuity

Golem — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 14:44:50 -0800

Chris Rock used to say in his act that, in relationships, people are 'as loyal as their options'. And even though 21-year-old Scarlett Johansson is currently dating former Black Dahlia co-star Josh Hartnett, the recently crowned 'Sexiest Woman Alive' is nothing if not a girl with a lot of options.

Rose's Darfur Diet

Golem — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 11:15:57 -0800

Much has been made of Kate Bosworth's recent death camp chic, but has anyone taken a look at Rose McGowan lately?

Scarlett Finally Nude?

Golem — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 14:38:10 -0800

As of today, there's a finally a picture in the 'Sacred' picture gallery for Scarlett Johansson.

Apostatization

Golem — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 11:29:25 -0800

The handful of people out there who still watch Gilmore Girls already know that the show has been ailing for quite a while now. They also know that the new season, the first one without the show's creator, will probably be the least -- and last -- of the series.

Esquire Crowns Scarlett 'Sexiest Woman Alive'

Golem — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 14:28:26 -0800

Very sagacious of them to give the crown to the woman who has already been wearing it for a few years now.

A View Better Left Unseen

Golem — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 12:37:16 -0800

I've been noticing this for a long while now, but after seeing caps from The View, I can't ignore it anymore: Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass is no longer fit for primetime.

Shark

Golem — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 23:05:52 -0800

The House-in-a-courtroom drama starring James Woods and Jeri Ryan premieres tonight.

Factory Recall for Tara

Golem — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 11:20:27 -0800

Apparently the newer, curvier, and more inebriated Tara Reid that unwittingly unveiled her Frankenscars at P Diddy's 35th birthday party two years ago didn't take.

The Black Dahlia

Golem — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 14:17:55 -0800

The tedious, convoluted adaptation of James Ellroy's novel, starring Josh Hartnett, Aaron Eckhart, Mia Kirshner, Scarlett Johansson, Hilary Swank (in a role wisely turned down by Eva Green), Rose McGowan (the film's stand-out weak acting link), and a ton of others, opens today.

Leaving Lorelai

Golem — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 11:20:19 -0800

As I'm pretty much the only person I know who regularly watches The ~~WB's~~ CW's critically acclaimed but otherwise ignored Gilmore Girls, I had come to believe that I was alone in my frustrations with the show. That is, until Entertainment Weekly published a reader's open Dear John letter:

Scarlett's Gratuitous Raunch in The Black Dahlia

Golem — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 14:07:26 -0800

I wouldn't be at all surprised if this turns out to be BS put out by the makers of The Black Dahlia to help promote the film, but according to an item from ContactMusic.com:

The Unbearable Heaviness of Jolie

Golem — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 11:47:02 -0800

Once upon a time, 'Angelina Jolie', like 'Pamela Anderson' before it, was a word in itself in English.

Wild On Baywatch

Golem — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 17:05:14 -0800

On the one hand, in the spirit of the Angelina Jolie-Brad Pitt experiment in eugenics, I suppose it's only fitting that the Hot Chick of Wild On! be paired and bred with the Hot Dude of Baywatch -- but on the other hand, didn't Brooke Burke just divorce her last husband (plastic surgeon Garth Fisher, with whom she has two kids) not more than a year ago?

Rose McGowan To Be in Grindhouse

Golem — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 11:00:00 -0800

I'm not sure what Snakes on a Plane's chances are of becoming the cult classic internet pre-fans want it to be, but from the very little I've heard of Grindhouse -- which features Rose McGowan killing people with a prosthetic machine gun leg -- the Tarantino-Rodriguez double-feature horror flick seems destined for b-movie immortality when it opens next April.

Celebrity Fit Club

Golem — Sun, 06 Aug 2006 11:50:06 -0800

It was almost ten years ago when I spotted Erika Eleniak shilling for the 'Fill Up and Go' weight-loss system; now, presumably, she could be a customer.

Carla to Join Entourage?

Golem — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 09:06:29 -0800

Well, it's been a very short ride for Carla Gugino, but after two canceled TV shows, it looks like she's back to guest appearances.

Failing Upward

Golem — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 13:53:15 -0800

A couple days ago, I read an article in Entertainment Weekly's 'Popwatch' about actors with 'failing upward syndrome' -- that is, actors who, despite their lack of hit movies to sustain any sort of fan base, continue to be handed bigger and better roles until Hollywood finally gives up on trying to prop them up as The Next Big Thing. Some of the names listed provoke little argument: Gretchen Mol, Kate Hudson, Penelope Cruz, Matthew McConaughey, Colin Farrell. One, namely Winona Ryder, gave me pause before I conceded (Heathers was a long, long time ago, after all). But Scarlett Johansson? Can it be true?

Busty Borg to Marry Iron Chef

Golem — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 15:54:32 -0800

If the iconic star of the long canceled Star Trek: Voyager, hasn't been in anything of real note lately, then at least sometime Iron Chef America competitor Christopher Eme has -- namely, Jeri Ryan. The two promoted their engagement while promoting Jeri's new TV series Shark.

The Baywatch Syndrome

Golem — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 14:18:08 -0800

It seems that while Jennifer Love Hewitt can now speak with the dead, she has yet to learn to read between the lines of the living.

One Less Reason to Watch Las Vegas After a Year of Mohr

Golem — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 10:19:12 -0800

Once upon a time I got on my soapbox and cried for more Nikki Cox on Las Vegas; now, I think we can all agree that less Nikki would be best.

So Dull the Con of Man

Golem — Fri, 19 May 2006 20:28:30 -0800

When I heard that Ron Howard was going to direct The Da Vinci Code, I didn't give it a second thought -- he is, as everyone knows, an award-winning director. But having now seen the film, I have to wonder how it happened that Howard was picked for the job; his resume, after all, doesn't have much in the way of thrillers, and boy was that fact evident today.

Lost For Good

Golem — Fri, 05 May 2006 11:34:07 -0800

Well, it's official: troubled actress Michelle Rodriguez is off the hit show Lost.

Thank You for Smoking

Golem — Sat, 22 Apr 2006 20:51:52 -0800

Today I finally got around to seeing Thank You for Smoking, a satirical comedy about the machinations of a man who spins for the tobacco industry while trying to stay a role-model for his twelve-year-old kid. Insofar as this was reportedly a witty comedy, I couldn't help thinking about Ridicule, another reportedly witty film, for in both movies the protagonists seem remarkably clever only because everyone else in the movie is thick. Thank You for Smoking is funny enough, I suppose, but a film like this really should be wittier.

God Bless the Paparazzi of Jamaica

Golem — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 13:44:53 -0800

Not much I can say here with my jaw on the floor but '!':

Waiting for Jolie

Golem — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 10:31:00 -0800

According to a report on the radio, Rosario Dawson says that director Robert Rodriguez wants Angelina Jolie for the lead in Sin City 2, and is willing to postpone production of the film until after she's had Brad Pitt's baby.

Brown Bunny On Camera, Killer Rabbit Off

Golem — Sun, 12 Mar 2006 11:46:28 -0800

Polygamy hasn't trumped pornography since the Mormon church pretended to cave in to the U.S. government back in the day to avoid losing its assets -- which is too bad for Chloe Sevigny.

The Season of the Witch Comes to an End

Golem — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 01:42:08 -0800

After eight seasons on the air, Charmed will be among the sacrificial lambs of the WB-UPN union this fall. Disappointing news for Alyssa Milano, perhaps, but devastating news for Holly Marie Combs and probably Rose McGowan as well. The last episode of Charmed will air May 21.

Brokeback Backlash

Golem — Thu, 02 Mar 2006 10:20:09 -0800

As might be expected, everyone with an axe to grind is starting to come out of the woodwork for their moment in the spotlight now shining on Brokeback Mountain -- including Michelle Williams' old high school.

When the Girl Next Door Has a Lawyer

Golem — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 14:45:47 -0800

When I heard that Jessica Alba was going to be in the next issue of Playboy, I was skeptical -- an Australian article I read last December reported that she won't even do Maxim anymore, let alone Playboy, as she has become disenchanted with her status as a sex icon. And despite her appearance on the cover, it looks like the skeptics were right.

Sascha Knopf Enters the Blogosphere

Golem — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 15:39:02 -0800

'I'm a geek, always have been,' Sascha Knopf once declared in an email to me in 2001.

The Jessica Alba Reality Show

Golem — Sat, 28 Jan 2006 11:57:25 -0800

Let's be honest: As beautiful as Jessica Alba on film might be, she doesn't really have the curves to capture the public's libidinous attentions the way, say, Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johansson have. But as paparazzi have been demonstrating over the last year, she can be a lot hotter than one might have thought possible when she thinks no one's watching:

Emily's 6.2 Million Reasons Why Not

Golem — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 11:40:41 -0800

ABC has decided to stop production of Heather Graham's Emily's Reasons Why Not after airing only one episode.

At the Movies with Sascha Knopf

Golem — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 14:59:30 -0800

Believe it or not, there are a few actresses on this site from whom we instinctively know not to expect great things.

Pregnant Kari Wuhrer Aborted from General Hospital

Golem — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 11:11:03 -0800

Kari Wuhrer filed a suit against ABC TV on Thursday, charging that she was fired from the show for becoming pregnant.

Angelina Pregnant

Golem — Wed, 11 Jan 2006 21:08:00 -0800

According to a story from Reuters, the world's most beautiful woman is now carrying a child by the world's most beautiful man.

Michelle Williams in Brokeback Mountain

Golem — Sun, 18 Dec 2005 17:47:34 -0800

Well, anyone with a TV, radio, or internet connection has by now been inundated with glowing reviews of Brokeback Mountain. But apart from Ang Lee's latest offering being an excellent film, it also handily demonstrates two things that haven't been getting much play in the press:

Once More, With Feeling

Golem — Wed, 07 Dec 2005 13:50:26 -0800

I hadn't heard much about the Valerie Bertinelli-Eddie Van Halen thing since she left him in 2002 (they were separated in October of 2001), but apparently the move didn't really take until yesterday, when Valerie's publicist confirmed that the estranged couple are now officially divorced on account of the usual 'irreconcilable differences'.

Fantastic Two, Revisited

Golem — Wed, 07 Dec 2005 11:47:59 -0800

Now that the DVD is out, Jessica Alba pervs everywhere want to know: Is that scene where Jessica steps out of the shower in the background and quickly becomes invisible really her naked?

Carla Off the Air ... Again

Golem — Tue, 06 Dec 2005 10:56:14 -0800

When Karen Sisco was pulled off the air not too long ago, critics mourned its passing and chastised the public for its mediocre tastes; now Threshold is being canceled and not even the critics care.

Another Day, Another DUI

Golem — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 11:26:00 -0800

Lost newcomers Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros posted bail yesterday morning after being arrested for driving under the influence.

The Ghost Whisperer

Golem — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 14:09:39 -0800

Well, well, well. After various boobless false starts, it looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt has rediscovered why she was popular and is back on the tube for real this time with the patently ridiculous but consistently cleavagey The Ghost Whisperer.

How Phil Spector Will Beat the Rap

Golem — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 11:23:35 -0800

The Twinkie defense? Are you serious?

About That Boob Thing...

Golem — Thu, 06 Oct 2005 11:00:47 -0800

One year after her most famous public performance to date, a reflective Tara Reid looks back on the one that got away...

Buh-Bye

Golem — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 16:33:36 -0800

I think most of the world has reached this conclusion already, but now that Hilary Duff is 18 and can legally get naked on film, she's also gotten offputtingly emaciated -- and, to be honest, as scary-ugly as her sister. The pair of them will now officially be rooming with the Olsen twins in the Phantom Zone of Irrelevance.

Meet Miss Mrs. Ms. Sigler DiScala Sigler

Golem — Thu, 15 Sep 2005 12:42:56 -0800

Hard to believe that anyone would make the cliche mistake of marrying one's agent in this day and age, but after two years of this ill-starred union, Jamie-Lynn and husband/agent A.J. DiScala have finally called the quits.

Holy Crap!

Golem — Tue, 09 Aug 2005 11:34:53 -0800

Pregnant women love to insist that the pregnant form is beautiful, and the men who are married to them have to pretend to agree. In Michelle Williams' case, though, it's actually true.

Scarlett Distracted in Traffic By Her Own Breasts

Golem — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 12:46:54 -0800

Cleavage is an amazing thing. I was once in an Albertsons that practically shut down when a stripper strode in to get her groceries, for though her face was weathered and, quite frankly, a little rough on the eyes, her fake boobs were bouncing about so violently as she walked that they threatened to spill out of her skimpy spandex top with every stride, and men and women alike stopped dead in their tracks to furtively take in the show while pretending to look at something else. Apparently even the owners of such show-stopping boobs are not immune to their power.

Brooke and Husband/Plastic Surgeon Garth Fisher Part Ways

Golem — Wed, 27 Jul 2005 16:53:58 -0800

The sun has finally set on the days of free implants for former Wild On hostess Brooke Burke, according to a statement released by the couple today in People magazine, which attributes the break up to their careers having gone in different directions over the past few years.

The Island

Golem — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 12:58:14 -0800

The Island is basically Logan's Run meets Coma: A sterile, sexless society of unwitting body part donors lives in blissful ignorance while waiting to win transportation out of their brave, dull world to the paradisiacal 'Island', the leadership's cover for their sinister organ-snatching program. That is, until one clone (Ewan McGregor) discovers the Awful Truth and makes a two-hour, action-packed run for it, taking his supermodel platonic friend (Scarlett Johansson) with him.

Fantastic Four

Golem — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 22:15:50 -0800

The hype for this movie has been so intense and pervasive that even I was beginning to accept that Fantastic Four was already an established pop-cultural landmark before the film was even released, despite the glaringly iffy look and vibe of the trailer. Predictably enough, the general consensus among critics and user comments on the web is that this film is pretty damn awful, especially if you've read the comics. So when I finally got around to seeing the movie myself, I was expecting just that.

And the Winner Is...

Golem — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 14:02:19 -0800

Not that she needs the cash (she has half of ex-husband and The Simpsons writer/producer Sam Simon's money, after all) but Jennifer Tilly beat out 600 professional players in a two-day competition and won the Ladies no-limit Texas Hold 'Em event at the World Series of Poker -- the first time a celebrity ever won an event at the tournament.

New Batman Drops Katie Holmes

Golem — Tue, 21 Jun 2005 10:07:11 -0800

Sometimes, there really is such a thing as 'bad publicity'. There's also such a thing as 'bad chemistry' and 'bad acting'.

Second Thoughts On Keeping Her Top On

Golem — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 12:35:34 -0800

Now that Scarlett Johansson is 20, it seems she's ready to show the world what it's been aching to see since Lost in Translation, she revealed in a Playboy interview. 'It would just have to be the right film.'

Free Katie!

Golem — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 09:58:20 -0800

In light of Tom Cruise's goofy/creepy performance on the Oprah Winfrey show and Katie Holmes' acceptance of Scientology, a website has been set up to rescue Katie from the clutches of Tom Cruise, L. Ron Hubbard, and herself.

Fantastic Two

Golem — Sat, 04 Jun 2005 12:32:51 -0800

Jessica Alba may be determined never to work nude in movies, but plugging for movies is apparently another matter: The former Dark Angel finally shed some light on two of her hitherto unseen assets yesterday at the MTV Movie Awards in an Emperor's-New-Clothes type dress reminiscent of Rose McGowan's fishnet ensemble at the same event seven years earlier. You can see what all the fuss is about here in the Sacred Pics gallery.

Sin City

Golem — Thu, 21 Apr 2005 21:19:22 -0800

It's Don Quixote meets Pulp Fiction: Three (or so) interweaving and ultra-violent tales of a directionless, burnt-out thug on parole, a directionless, burnt-out cop on the verge of retirement, and a directionless, burnt-out death row escapee who independently seek redemption and meaning by avenging or protecting the fallen women who for a fleeting moment made their lives worthwhile. Stylishly adapted with gory exuberance by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino from the stylishly bloody graphic novels of Frank Miller.

Tru Recalled ... Again

Golem — Wed, 20 Apr 2005 11:15:06 -0800

They say the shamed die a thousand deaths, and they weren't kidding: Fox has cancelled Eliza Dushku's Tru Calling again.

The Road to Sin City Is Paved with Golden Locks

Golem — Mon, 18 Apr 2005 10:32:32 -0800

Well, while most TV stars never fully escape the 'small time' stigma of the small screen -- which is to say their careers already peaked with whatever TV show made them famous -- Jessica Alba appears to be a much bigger deal now than she ever was before.

Stacked

Golem — Wed, 13 Apr 2005 11:45:35 -0800

It's been a long time since Pamela Anderson's been on the tube in something other than a cameo, game show, or cartoon voice -- quite frankly, I didn't think there was much else in the cards for her -- so it was fun in a nostalgic sort of way to see that she'd beaten the odds (and the hep C, to boot, she says) and gotten herself back on the air.

American Divorce

Golem — Mon, 07 Mar 2005 11:49:30 -0800

First trollish Bobcat Goldthwait and Las Vegas star Nikki Cox, then whore-hound Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, then American Pie star Chris Klein and reportedly near-frigid Katie Holmes, and now trollish Joseph Reitman and American Pie star Shannon Elizabeth are calling it quits.

Denise Files for Divorce from Charlie Sheen

Golem — Wed, 02 Mar 2005 11:36:52 -0800

My God, if Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen can't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Cursed

Golem — Fri, 25 Feb 2005 12:53:32 -0800

A fitting title for a werewolf flick whose pedigree so clearly includes Scream, An American Werewolf in London and a little Ginger Snaps, but whose writing lacks the cleverness of any of them. The warg-sized turd starring Christina Ricci and Shannon Elizabeth opens today, but you'd be well advised to wait for it to come to cable.

Katie Gets the Bat Signal

Golem — Sun, 20 Feb 2005 09:43:49 -0800

I haven't seen or heard anything about the new Batman yet -- which is seldom a good sign -- but if it doesn't suck, perhaps it'll be the Caped Crusader that finally rescues Katie Holmes from the Phantom Zone where ex-television stars languish for eternity.

Kari's Career Gets Hospitalized

Golem — Tue, 15 Feb 2005 11:02:07 -0800

Usually actors claw their way out of soap opera hell and on to film once their career momentum allows for it, but with smaller boobs come fewer choices for an actress whose career was built largely on those very boobs, which is how Kari Wuhrer's career has come to an inglorious convalescence as a regular on the ancient set of General Hospital.

The World Makes Sense Again ... Sort of

Golem — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 11:12:37 -0800

Well, it's taken a long time, but it finally happened: Nikki Cox broke off her engagement to trollish comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, only to start dating notorious babe-hound Jay Mohr. Egad.

Audrey Tautou to Star in The Da Vinci Code

Golem — Sat, 22 Jan 2005 10:07:11 -0800

The film adaptation of Dan Brown's critically panned but internationally beloved conspiracy thriller novel -- starring Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Alfred Molina, and Paul Bettany -- opens today.

Tru Recalled

Golem — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 11:12:42 -0800

Although six new episodes of Eliza Dushku's stuggling series were shot for its second season, TV Guide reported today that the show about solving crimes on behalf of the future dead is now officially dead itself, to be replaced by the supernatural soap Point Pleasant.

Back to TV

Golem — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 11:41:27 -0800

Look, I love Leelee Sobieski. And I love Greek mythology. And I'm happy to see Leelee back on the tube. But I'll believe in a Kevin Sorbo comeback before I believe that the upcoming Hercules miniseries on NBC will offer anything more worthwhile than some cleavagey Leelee-in-a-tunic shots.

The Eternal Sunshine of the Topless Bod

Golem — Sat, 01 Jan 2005 11:48:06 -0800

Kiki fans who've been patiently waiting for their butterfaced muse to show them the goods finally got their wish today when stalkerazzi caught Kirsten Dunst's boobs slipping out of their bikini top as she emerged from the Caribbean at St. Barts.

The Lone Driftwood in a Sea of Banality

Golem — Thu, 30 Dec 2004 10:47:22 -0800

While decrying the faux wit of TV show humanities professors today (Prof. Grace McCallister of Jack and Bobby in particular), The New York Times granted a possible exception to the late professor Asher Fleming of Gilmore Girls, 'but only because he was sleeping with Paris Geller (played by Liza Weil), the greatest comic character currently on television.'

Ranking Life Is Great

Golem — Sun, 05 Dec 2004 16:49:42 -0800

Hoping to succeed where Rank failed, Brooke Burke returns to E! tonight as the host of Life Is Great With Brooke Burke.

Still Milking It

Golem — Tue, 30 Nov 2004 20:08:43 -0800

A new show? Are you kidding? With Pamela Anderson as the star, not a cameo or a voice? Can clawing one's way out of the career grave be so easy? And what about the Hepatitis C? Isn't there an actual grave to be crawled out of soon? From TV Guide:

Alexander

Golem — Wed, 24 Nov 2004 17:56:07 -0800

Oliver Stone's surprisingly so-so costume drama with Collin Farrell (looking a bit like a surfer dude), Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Jared Leto, Rosario Dawson, and Anthony Hopkins opens today. While it's not properly terrible, it's definitely a disappointment -- and in some ways a bit of a mess: One gets the sense that it was conceived in chronological order and then scrambled in the editing room to give it a JFK/Nixon vibe.

Seed of Chucky

Golem — Sat, 20 Nov 2004 13:32:23 -0800

For whatever reasons, many actresses start to hit the wall once they reach their forties -- if not before. Jennifer Tilly, on the other hand, looks great at 43 in Seed of Chucky; she may yet keep the world hypnotized by that cleavage of hers for another decade.

Look at Me, Dammit!

Golem — Sat, 06 Nov 2004 22:45:28 -0800

Washed-up actress and Paris Hilton sidekick Tara Reid flashed the world yesterday at a P. Diddy bash ... and the world cringed.

The Gathering Dust On My TV Remote

Golem — Wed, 03 Nov 2004 11:16:51 -0800

I know I've complained about this before, but it seems especially true this season than it has in previous seasons: Gilmore Girls, while it's always been obnoxiously cutesy, has been offering precious little else this time around.

Unemployment as the Greatest Career Aphrodisiac

Golem — Sun, 10 Oct 2004 16:34:57 -0800

Well, two years of Brooke Burke being out of the spotlight has finally paid off for the rest of us: she'll be appearing nude in the next issue of Playboy. I guess those calendars of hers don't sell themselves.

Mary-Kate, Ashley, and Now Amanda

Golem — Thu, 07 Oct 2004 17:54:06 -0800

It's not really surprising, I guess: As of today's TRL, what we all liked about What I Like About You star Amanda Bynes has been starved out of her and flushed down the toilet along with most everything she's eaten in the last few months, leaving only the unsettling Olsen twin-like shell of her former self behind.

Stacey Dash Redux

Golem — Tue, 14 Sep 2004 11:42:46 -0800

Well, it seems I'm not the only one who thought Stacey Dash could do with a boob job and a time machine -- sometime in the last year, Stacey herself went and quietly got herself one of those items.

Carla to Be in Film Adaptation of Sin City

Golem — Fri, 10 Sep 2004 11:42:07 -0800

I'm not at all familiar with Frank Miller's Sin City comic (or graphic novel, or whatever) and so have no idea what to expect from the upcoming movie, but whether or not it's anywhere as good as, say, Miller's Elektra Assassin (with which I am familiar) hardly matters as far as Carla Gugino fans are concerned, as it'll be the first film she takes her top off in since 1998. About time, too, now that the Spy Kids thing has pretty much dried up.

Fashionable Incarceration

Golem — Mon, 30 Aug 2004 10:15:58 -0800

No matter how noble a cause might be, nothing calls attention away from it like the presence of celebrities lending their dubious support.

Tanned, Augmented, and Ready for Prime Time

Golem — Wed, 04 Aug 2004 12:02:52 -0800

People used to complain that 'they'll give a talk show to anyone nowadays', but now television is about to endure an even bigger offense.

Last Chance for Proof

Golem — Sat, 10 Jul 2004 10:38:02 -0800

Liza Weil's last performance in her hometown's community theater production of Proof (which stars Liza and her father, Marc Weil) comes today.

Your Ad Here: The Further Marring of Angelina Jolie

Golem — Fri, 09 Jul 2004 11:00:01 -0800

Like the Joker gleefully defacing priceless works of art in the first Batman, so Angelina Jolie has added her most grotesque exhibit to date -- and most difficult to CGI out come her next nude scene -- to her living museum of permanent doodles.

Pictures Worth a Thousand Cup Sizes

Golem — Wed, 07 Jul 2004 11:42:15 -0800

It doesn't take a plastic surgeon to see that the only thing '100 per cent not true' here is what Tara Reid's been showing off as a miraculous growth spurt to cameras lately.

Denise to Appear Nude in Playboy ... Maybe

Golem — Sat, 03 Jul 2004 11:24:08 -0800

This is a little hard to believe, given that Denise Richards just gave birth a few months ago, so take this item from NewKerala.com for what it's worth:

The Erotic Misadventures of Jeri Ryan

Golem — Mon, 21 Jun 2004 17:18:42 -0800

According to an Associated Press article today, Jeri Ryan has filed for divorce from Republican Senate candidate Jack Ryan, charging that he pressured her to accompany him to sex clubs and have intercourse with him while other people watched.

Winona's Sentence Gets Five-Fingered Discount

Golem — Mon, 21 Jun 2004 11:13:10 -0800

An American judge is a lot like a shopkeeper in a bazaar in that any sentence he hands down is rarely taken seriously but is really only the first offer, to be negotiated down later.

The Great Pretender

Golem — Thu, 17 Jun 2004 12:13:36 -0800

To see Lauren Graham in interviews is to wonder just how much 'acting' she really does on that show, as the giggling, effervescent actress seems indistinguishable from her giggling, effervescent character. To see her playing poker on Bravo's Celebrity Poker Showdown, however, is to finally catch a tiny glimpse of the real Lauren, the ice-blooded, wheels-and-gears mastermind she keeps hidden behind her disarming 'belly buttons are cool' facade. If you missed the show, you can see the clips here.

Jennifer Back On TV ... Sort Of

Golem — Wed, 02 Jun 2004 13:48:52 -0800

It's been a long, Love-less dark, but Jennifer Love Hewitt might be back on the small screen.

Busted!

Golem — Sat, 22 May 2004 13:16:51 -0800

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but no one's fooling anyone at any time with those jello molds.

What the...?

Golem — Mon, 17 May 2004 12:41:44 -0800

While I don't know for certain yet, I'd say that from the look of the last photo I added to the picture gallery (#473), either there have been some remarkable advances in wonderbra technology or Tara Reid has had a little work done. Maybe a lot of work done.

Does It Really Matter Now?

Golem — Thu, 13 May 2004 19:53:18 -0800

Even at the peak of her fame, most Americans had no idea that Pamela Anderson was not in fact American. Now, a decade later, they're only half wrong.

Now That It's Finally All Over...

Golem — Thu, 13 May 2004 11:23:35 -0800

Mega-hit show though we all know Friends to have been, one wonders now how it ever got on the air.

No Money for The Girl Next Door, Either

Golem — Mon, 12 Apr 2004 11:44:22 -0800

Granted, no one expected that The Girl Next Door would be pulling in The Passion of the Christ money, but with a measly six million dollar weekend gross, I think it's safe to say that word got out that there's no nudity in this picture about a porn star, that The Girl Next Door is an un-risque ripoff of Risky Business.

No Nudity for The Girl Next Door

Golem — Wed, 07 Apr 2004 11:26:40 -0800

When an AP entertainment writer observed that the closest thing to nudity in The Girl Next Door -- a film in which Elisha Cuthbert plays a porn star -- was a scene in which her neighbor sees her bare back as she peels off her top, Elisha replied, 'That's as far as I've pushed it as far as nudity goes -- and probably, that's about as far as it will go for me.' In this new era of 'wardrobe malfunction' hysteria and government-led jihads against obscenity, I suspect we'll be seeing a lot more potentially topless actresses insisting on keeping their clothes on.

Tween No More

Golem — Sat, 03 Apr 2004 17:46:27 -0800

Well, it's official: Amanda Bynes is 18 now, and we no longer have to feel quite so creepy that we even know who she is.

Scarlett Says No to Nudity

Golem — Sun, 21 Mar 2004 11:37:46 -0800

Even without her famous panties performance last year in Lost in Translation, it's hardly surprising that Scarlett Johansson would be asked by one and all about the possibility of screen nudity now that she's of age. But for the time being, at least, the prospects aren't good -- but not hopeless.

Taking Lives

Golem — Fri, 19 Mar 2004 20:44:01 -0800

Angelina Jolie's new thriller opens today. While neither especially good nor especially bad, Angelina looks great in it (if a little underfed), and serves up a brief (and completely gratuitous) nude scene to boot.

Sapphist Realism

Golem — Mon, 01 Mar 2004 11:08:13 -0800

Since it debuted on Showtime, there's been a lot of noise about The 'L' Word -- one hears mention of it in everything from Leno to Gilmore Girls. But every reference I've heard thus far is a reference only to the show's premise -- not to any specific incident, character, or memorable line -- which suggests that while everyone's heard of the show, not many are actually watching it.

Monica in The Passion of the Christ

Golem — Wed, 25 Feb 2004 12:30:52 -0800

Start brushing up on your Aramaic -- Mel Gibson may have removed the much ballyhooed controversial line from his new Jesus flick (The Passion of the Christ, which hits theaters today) after it tested poorly with focus groups, but Monica Bellucci as Mary Magdalene is still in it.

Karen Sisco Retires Early

Golem — Fri, 30 Jan 2004 10:33:47 -0800

It's not like anyone who isn't a critic couldn't see this coming.

The Brown Bunny Gets Flushed

Golem — Wed, 31 Dec 2003 11:25:05 -0800

Which is more unforgivable in Hollywood -- having oral sex on film, or having oral sex on a film that doesn't make any money?

Sometimes It Sucks to Be Right

Golem — Fri, 19 Dec 2003 19:35:55 -0800

When I learned last year that Pamela Anderson would be doing voice work for Stripperella, I asked 'can center square be far behind?' The answer, apparently, is 'No'.

Honey

Golem — Sun, 07 Dec 2003 10:44:20 -0800

Plugging her movie on every talkshow and quasi-talkshow seems to have paid off, as Jessica Alba's latest effort to crawl out of her post-Dark Angel slump seems to be doing well its opening weekend.

White Christmas Lies

Golem — Wed, 26 Nov 2003 11:09:51 -0800

It seems that Lauren Graham was a wee misleading in her interview with Kilborn -- she's in a love scene alright, but there's no nudity. Anyone planning to see Bad Santa for no other reason but to see the naughty side of Lorelai will be sorely disappointed. Funny movie, though.

Tru Recalling

Golem — Fri, 31 Oct 2003 13:08:12 -0800

I'm as happy as any guy to see Eliza Dushku back on the air, but let the countdown for the number of weeks Tru Calling has left before it's tagged and shoved into a meatlocker begin now.

Tru Calling

Golem — Thu, 30 Oct 2003 11:04:57 -0800

It ain't Buffy, and the production of Tru Calling has been beset with all sorts of rewriting, recasting, and reshooting problems, but at least Eliza Dushku is finally back on the tube tonight.

Monica in The Matrix Revolutions

Golem — Tue, 28 Oct 2003 12:28:30 -0800

Well, The Matrix Revolutions has come at last, and though Monica Bellucci's been prominently featured in the posters, she's barely in the film.

Bait and Switch

Golem — Mon, 27 Oct 2003 11:01:24 -0800

For a show that's been trying to sex things up more and more (usually the sign of a show that's in danger of not getting renewed), it's made precious little use of Nikki Cox, it's bustiest cast member, who not only never appears in anything particularly alluring, but seldom appears at all. One is reminded of the ill-fated The $treet, which billed itself as Wallstreet with lots of sex and Jennifer Connelly, but in fact delivered little of either.

Paris Restored

Golem — Tue, 07 Oct 2003 21:18:17 -0800

Looks like I may have spoken too soon -- In tonight's episode, the old Paris was back, and the writing in general was a lot better than it was in those first two episodes. Thank God.

The Looting of Paris

Golem — Tue, 07 Oct 2003 17:22:24 -0800

After an iffy, sans Paris season premiere a couple weeks ago that was disappointingly more contrived than clever in its cutseyness, Gilmore Girls, now in its fourth (!) season, was uncharacteristically weak in its second episode as well.

The Station Agent

Golem — Fri, 03 Oct 2003 17:20:29 -0800

Not the post-Dawson hooterfest I was half-hoping for -- and Michelle Williams is hardly in it, to boot -- but a good, fun film nonetheless, one that I'd be tempted to see again if I didn't have to drive so damn far away to see it.

Of Boobs And Bynes

Golem — Sun, 14 Sep 2003 17:33:12 -0800

For someone who apparently doesn't want her career to rest primarily on her sex appeal ('I respect actresses who are not like, 'I'm an adult now -- here are my boobs''), it's a rare photo of Amanda Bynes where she's dressed in something that doesn't say 'here are my boobs', to say nothing of the pants and skirts she wears that barely clear her pubic region.

Another Chance

Golem — Fri, 05 Sep 2003 11:41:34 -0800

By rights, starring in two quickly canceled shows is enough to be permanently put out to pasture. Unless, of course, you're built like Nikki Cox, in which case the roles keep coming. It's just that most of them are for 'whore'. Can't imagine why.

Gilmore Girls in Fall 2003

Golem — Fri, 05 Sep 2003 11:18:54 -0800

After three seasons, Paris and Rory finally shed their school uniforms.

Carla to Play J. Lo in TV Version of Out of Sight

Golem — Fri, 05 Sep 2003 11:10:48 -0800

I never saw the J. Lo version of Out of Sight -- after sitting through The Cell, I'll be happy not to see the J. Lo version of anything -- but I'm certainly looking forward to seeing Carla Gugino take a shot at it in the upcoming Karen Sisco.

Back in Business Everywhere but Here

Golem — Mon, 01 Sep 2003 14:49:04 -0800

After being out of the picture awhile, Laetitia Casta seems to be making a quiet comeback -- at least in Europe.

The O.C.

Golem — Mon, 01 Sep 2003 12:36:44 -0800

Though an Orange County native myself, I must confess that I don't really recognize much from The O.C. as being particularly or authentically 'O.C.' -- nor have I (nor anyone I've known) ever referred to the over-sized strip mall that is Orange County as 'The O.C.' Near as I can figure, the term -- as far as Melinda Clarke is concerned, anyway -- must come from the Latin occasio caelestis, or 'lucky break from heaven'.

Desperado 2

Golem — Sat, 23 Aug 2003 12:15:56 -0800

There are the films you make because you passionately believe in them (as Salma Hayek did in Frida, though the movie proved to be mediocre), there are the films you do because you couldn't get anything else, and then there are the films you do because the director feels you owe him.

Premature Praise

Golem — Thu, 14 Aug 2003 22:40:41 -0800

After sitting through one miscarried joke after another during Brittany Murphy's spastic appearance on Leno tonight, I'd like to withdraw my earlier suggestion and propose that Brittany hire someone to script everything that comes out of her mouth.

Hell Hath No Fury

Golem — Thu, 07 Aug 2003 23:31:45 -0800

Appearing on David Letterman to promote Uptown Girls, Brittany Murphy, who had until recently been dating her Just Married co-star Ashton Kutcher, offered some insight into Aston's current relationship with Demi Moore: 'I think what it says on his part is that age isn't important, and on her part, that size isn't important.' Assuming that line wasn't fed to her by Letterman's writers, she might have a viable career in punching up scripts if ever she gets bored of acting.

Flop? No Sweat!

Golem — Wed, 06 Aug 2003 18:58:00 -0800

We all know Angelina Jolie can act. But can she pick a script?

Geek Conventions Not Just for Has-Beens Anymore

Golem — Sat, 19 Jul 2003 18:50:59 -0800

For those willing to pay for attendance, Angelina Jolie is scheduled to sign autographs from 10 AM to 11 AM at the Comic-Con in San Diego and later preview and otherwise plug her upcoming Tomb Raider 2 from 11:30 AM to 12:30 PM.

Angelina Jolie and Nic Cage -- Done in 60 Seconds

Golem — Thu, 26 Jun 2003 18:42:13 -0800

As far as I know, Angelina Jolie met Nicolas Cage on the set of Gone in 60 Seconds, which is about how long this rumored relationship is likely to last. As Entertainment Weekly put it: 'The rumor is that these two are an item. Because they enjoy the same things -- short, intense relationships with acrimonious, headline-grabbing breakups.'

The Importance of Being Blonde

Golem — Thu, 05 Jun 2003 04:02:21 -0800

Damn, what a difference a dye-job can make! Since she's gone blonde and lost some weight (to the point that she looks like she needs to ease up on the coke), Brittany Murphy has gone from relative obscurity to starring in almost every movie these days (and dating all her co-stars), and has partied up such an E! True Hollywood Stories-type storm that she felt compelled to explain in a Cosmo interview that she's not nearly as out of control as everyone says she is. (Indeed, when Eminem dumps you for being too out of control, you know you've got a serious problem.)

25th Hour

Golem — Sun, 01 Jun 2003 17:34:16 -0800

Not many people went to see it, and I'm not much of a Spike Lee fan myself, but the film is definitely worth renting or catching on cable.

The Brown Bunny

Golem — Sat, 10 May 2003 11:18:48 -0800

By now you may have heard the buzz about The Brown Bunny -- it's terrible, they say, but Chloe Sevigny is not only naked in it, but goes where Maruschka Detmers (in The Devil in the Flesh), Tatsuya Fuji (in In the Realm of the Senses), and few others in more-or-less mainstream movies have dared go before: she performs explicit oral sex on someone (in this case, Vincent Gallo).

Monica in The Matrix Reloaded

Golem — Wed, 07 May 2003 12:25:54 -0800

Despite my earlier, more hopeful forecast, The Matrix Reloaded may not do that much for Monica Bellucci after all -- the movie, while bristling with all the nifty special effects one could want from a Matrix sequel, was otherwise pretty empty and unlikely to have the pop cultural impact the first Matrix had. Moreover, Monica's character was not especially memorable ... or necessary.

Best Episode Ever ... But Who's Watching?

Golem — Tue, 11 Mar 2003 11:11:33 -0800

Well, despite all predictions (including my own), Gilmore Girls remains on the air after three seasons (I think) -- and I couldn't be happier. Especially after last week's episode, which saw not only what was probably Liza Weil's best performance ever, but the best performance of the entire series as well.

The Sleeping Dictionary Awakes ... Sort Of

Golem — Tue, 18 Feb 2003 10:33:38 -0800

We've all waited a long time to see Jessica Alba on the big screen again -- if only for the possibility that she'll appear in the buff to help sever any lingering ties to Dark Angel -- but it looks like we'll have to wait even longer.

Dawson's Creek Drained at Last

Golem — Mon, 03 Feb 2003 11:03:22 -0800

The once unstoppable ratings cow will be taken to the slaughterhouse in May, TV Guide announced today, and Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes will have to figure out how to make themselves more appealing to the public on their own now that the show has officially given up trying.

The Queen Is Dead

Golem — Mon, 03 Feb 2003 10:41:34 -0800

Anyone nostalgically longing to see a return of the Barbarian Queen tragically got his wish today -- it was reported around 5 AM that Lana Clarkson was murdered in the castle-like Alhambra home of legendary rock producer Phil Spector.

Return of the Golden Globes

Golem — Sun, 19 Jan 2003 20:21:27 -0800

After all the flak she got for last year's emaciated appearance at the Academy Awards, Jennifer Connelly seemed to have been putting the weight back in all the right places at this year's Golden Globes (where she presented for Best Musical/Comedy), passing her Worst Dressed/Most Undernourished award to Lara Flynn Boyle.

Wrong and Loving It

Golem — Sat, 28 Dec 2002 12:04:03 -0800

Well, I never thought I'd see the day, but not only is Gilmore Girls still on the air (and thank God, too, because as smarmy as the show often is, I've gotten hooked on the damned thing), but Lauren Graham reported on Kilborn last night that she has a nude scene in Bad Santa (directed by Ghost World's Terry Zwigoff) with, of all people, Billy Bob Thornton. Christmas, it seems, is certainly a time of miracles.

Sizing Up Elisha

Golem — Mon, 16 Dec 2002 11:11:24 -0800

The information I got when I first set up this page is that Elisha Cuthbert stands 5'6" tall, but according to someone who says he saw her at the Last Call with Carson Daly taping, she isn't more than 5'2". That's the trouble with the net: real facts are so hard to come by. [It doesn't help that Elisha herself is skittish about revealing her true height, as she showed herself to be on Craig Kilborn on the 26th.]

The Making of Brooke Burke

Golem — Fri, 06 Dec 2002 16:16:12 -0800

Since people often ask, I may as well post it here once and for all: Yes, Brooke Burke's boobs are works of art, not miracles of nature. And now we have proof.

Angelina to Play Linda 'Deepthroat' Lovelace in Biopic

Golem — Wed, 04 Dec 2002 18:25:20 -0800

This came from Ain't It Cool News, so don't start hyperventilating just yet:

Saks Appeal

Golem — Thu, 07 Nov 2002 11:06:39 -0800

Say what you will about how Winona Ryder's Saks adventure turned out, but one good thing that seems to have come as a result of the trial and all the sudden public scrutiny that came with it is that Winona, as might be expected of any cornered actress, seems to have abandoned her asexual pixie look (at least for the time being) in favor of longer hair and generous cleavage, at long last embracing, however half-heartedly, her stifled Hot Chick persona.

Still Spastic After All These Years

Golem — Tue, 22 Oct 2002 17:01:55 -0800

It's been a while now since I've even thought of Kerri Kendall or her truculent, scamming webmaster -- it's hard to stay a fan of someone whose representative is so nakedly and unpleasantly avaricious -- so I've been pretty much out of the know as far as Kerri's goings on are concerned. But the still-curious will be delighted to know that the Kerri and Mike business has been going just as one would expect it to:

Career Eclipse

Golem — Tue, 01 Oct 2002 11:31:32 -0800

By now most Thora Birch fans have seen the new commercial for Eclipse gum -- and some are wondering if her career bubble has already burst.

More Paris, Less Liza?

Golem — Tue, 24 Sep 2002 11:08:59 -0800

Is it just me, or has every actress with a C cup or above since Jennifer Connelly's gaunt appearance at the Academy Awards gone on some sort of breast-reducing starvation diet?

Ratings Rogaine

Golem — Sun, 15 Sep 2002 12:15:15 -0800

So much for the prediction that Friends was done on account of Jennifer Aniston's new do: Between the new 'pregnant Rachel' storyline and Millionaire's lost appeal (lost, many feel, from running the show every day till people were sick of it), wringing another season out of Friends is no longer just a theoretical threat.

American Idole

Golem — Wed, 04 Sep 2002 01:33:22 -0800

Deep down, I think even critics of this page knew it was just a matter of time before Leelee Sobieski's top at long last came off on the big screen -- she's been trying to break into the limelight for too long and with too little success not to.

Finally Frida

Golem — Sun, 01 Sep 2002 11:58:26 -0800

On the Dave Letterman show, Salma Hayek once related a story about how she prayed at a miracle shrine for a photo-friendly rack when she was a kid, and how she was eventually granted her humble request. Still, for all Salma's troubling the Almighty, movie audiences have only gotten to see tantalizing glimpses of God's handiwork, and very rarely at that.

The Whiter-Than-White Road to the Bottom

Golem — Thu, 15 Aug 2002 11:39:07 -0800

Stacey Dash has taken up shilling for Crest in TV ads.

Touched by a Lawyer

Golem — Tue, 09 Jul 2002 11:44:09 -0800

After first losing David Lee Roth, then Sammy Hagar, then Gary Cherone, then Warner Brothers, then the spotlight altogether, legendary guitarist Eddie Van Halen has now lost Valerie Bertinelli as well, his wife of the last 21 years. The only surprise here, really, is that it took 21 years for that to happen.

Moment of Clarity

Golem — Sun, 07 Jul 2002 12:11:51 -0800

Now that the smoke's cleared from all the bombs Leelee Sobieski dropped on Hollywood last year, we all have time to reflect on just what it was that the critics all saw in Leelee that the rest of the U.S. did not, and why the buzz that surrounded her when Joan of Arc aired has pretty much disappeared.

'Nude Raider' Comes to the Big Screen

Golem — Mon, 01 Jul 2002 18:17:06 -0800

Angelina Jolie has reportedly OKed getting naked in Tomb Raider 2, although the makers of the video game, concerned about Lara Croft's image, might still put a block on it.

No Boobs, No Surprise

Golem — Mon, 01 Jul 2002 13:34:49 -0800

So much for that tip from EOnline -- the August edition of Playboy is out but Thelma and Louise are not. Scammed again.

Silicone Urban Legends

Golem — Sun, 30 Jun 2002 11:58:30 -0800

We've all heard the one about the guy who wakes up in a hotel after a one-night stand, packed in ice and missing a kidney. Kari Wuhrer adds her own twist to the story in her latest photoshoot from Razor magazine: This time it's the girl who wakes up missing something, in this case both her breast implants.

If Angelina and Billy Bob Can't Make It Work, What Hope Do the Rest of Us Have?

Golem — Fri, 28 Jun 2002 18:06:52 -0800

Like most every other couple that can't take their hands off each other in public (remember Tom and Roseanne?), Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton appear to be regretting having tattooed each other's names on themselves so quickly now that they've had two years to think about it. Good thing they brought another kid into it.

Shannon Elizabeth Weds

Golem — Sat, 15 Jun 2002 11:42:37 -0800

Shannon Elizabeth, best known for her topless turn in the smash hit American Pie, just got married to actor Joe Reitman, best known for all the small roles Shannon got for him in her recent movies (Tomcats, American Pie 2, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back).

Dating Is Not Enough

Golem — Sat, 15 Jun 2002 11:03:57 -0800

Denise Richards, 29, married Charlie Sheen, 36.

R.I.P. V.I.P.

Golem — Fri, 14 Jun 2002 19:05:37 -0800

Lest anyone still have doubts that Pamela Anderson has slid from celebritydom to personalitydom, TVGuide.com reported today that her campy show V.I.P. has been given the axe -- but that Pam will be returning to TV to do voice work for the main character in the upcoming animated series Stripperella. Can center square be far behind?

Hollywood's Unwanted Trophy

Golem — Wed, 12 Jun 2002 12:35:35 -0800

One would think that a certified Hot Chick with more name recognition than the celebrity she's dating would have the upper hand in her love life, but in Heather Graham's case, it's usually she who ends up being the dumpee, not the other way around.

Me Without You

Golem — Wed, 29 May 2002 16:25:25 -0800

Anyone wondering how long we'd all have to wait before Michelle Williams treated us to an unclothed glimpse at her generous assets can finally stop wondering -- Michelle at long last shows us the goods in Me Without You (as you can see for yourself in the picture gallery here), which comes out July 5.

Dark Angel's Wings Finally Clipped

Golem — Thu, 16 May 2002 10:32:57 -0800

Well, it's official -- like so many other TV shows before it built on the pseudo-feminist '(beautiful) girls kick ass' formula, Dark Angel will be going to crappy show heaven after just a couple seasons of no one watching it.

The End of Roswell

Golem — Tue, 14 May 2002 14:48:07 -0800

The mothership is finally leaving, and Katherine Heigl has a lot to do with it.

Helena Recast

Golem — Wed, 01 May 2002 15:18:49 -0800

It might be a wee early to say for sure, but I just saw Novocaine, and I'm getting the sense that Helena Bonham-Carter might be getting typecast again -- this time as the mercenary, darkly witty, hot-but-disheveled 'Marla Singer' character she played in Fight Club.

Again with the Boobs

Golem — Fri, 26 Apr 2002 17:19:56 -0800

Whenever a movie tanks, film studios are often quick to say that the problem isn't so much that the movie simply sucks as that the public has lost interest in the movie's star. Which does little to explain the world's continued fascination with Angelina Jolie's fun bags even after ignoring them in last year's Original Sin.

Deep Throat Unclogged

Golem — Fri, 26 Apr 2002 11:18:42 -0800

It turns out that Thora Birch's lineage might be more interesting than Luke Skywalker's.

Buh-Bye

Golem — Fri, 05 Apr 2002 16:07:03 -0800

So much for the FHM thing as far as Brooke Burke is concerned -- E! is already casting about for their next Wild On host.

FHM Hoopla

Golem — Wed, 03 Apr 2002 16:00:05 -0800

FHM has an online voting booth to determine whose recycled photos will fill the pages of their '100 Sexiest Women in the World' supplement. You can submit up to ten names. Add Brooke Burke's -- and pray that the boost to her celebrity stock will help put her in movies on the one hand but not prompt her to leave her base at E! like Margolis and Kinnear on the other.

Money Well Spent

Golem — Mon, 01 Apr 2002 12:30:49 -0800

Tara Reid is seeing five shrinks to deal with Carson Daly dumping her? Five!?

Academy Awards Update

Golem — Sun, 24 Mar 2002 20:17:22 -0800

Those people who were emailing me earlier about Jennifer Connelly's shrinking assets might be on to something -- I just caught a glimpse of her on the red carpet, and she's packing so little now that I have to wonder if she didn't decide to surgically lighten the load. Dumb move if she did.

Requiem for a Beautiful Body

Golem — Fri, 01 Mar 2002 09:02:23 -0800

After Jennifer Connelly's appearance on Leno a few nights ago, I got a few emails asking if I was aware of anything drastic happening to the actress best known for her eye-friendly proportions, as she looked a cup size or two less friendly in the interview.

Dare We Believe This?

Golem — Sat, 16 Feb 2002 13:23:51 -0800

According to a post on EOnline, it looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt has finally caught on that no one cares about her bubbly personality anymore, that 'actress' is more and more becoming synonymous with 'stripper', and that she had better get naked quick before she disappears from showbiz altogether:

From Contrived Bitch to Lovable Psycho

Golem — Fri, 15 Feb 2002 11:01:29 -0800

As much as critics used to goof on Dawson's Creek for its high school characters who all talk like 30-year-old script writers in therapy, most people nevertheless seemed to like the age-inappropriate dialog along with the rest of the show. The same hasn't been true, though, for the dialog-intensive Gilmore Girls, in which even the lowlifes are better read than most literature professors and everyone talks like they're in The House of Yes.

The End of the Blue Light Special

Golem — Fri, 01 Feb 2002 11:28:05 -0800

With Kmart going out of business now, what will become of Lana Clarkson?

Nikki Gets Yanked

Golem — Tue, 15 Jan 2002 11:28:22 -0800

Well, it looks like neither Gear, FHM nor either one of Nikki Cox's enormous breasts could keep Nikki afloat for another season, the show going under as one of the top ten least watched shows on TV.

Shannon Elizabeth R.I.P.

Golem — Fri, 04 Jan 2002 13:01:52 -0800

For anyone who hasn't heard the news yet, Shannon Elizabeth is signing contracts to keep her implants out of public scrutiny forever:

Jennifer Connelly Happy with Nude Scenes

Golem — Tue, 01 Jan 2002 10:40:46 -0800

Finally, an actress who doesn't lament her past nude work.

Back from Oblivion ... But Probably Just Visiting

Golem — Sat, 15 Dec 2001 11:07:30 -0800

She's one of the last people I expected to see with a regular role on TV again, but somehow Liz Vassey has managed to crawl her way back into primetime as 'Captain Liberty' on Fox's The Tick.

It's Good to Be the Queen

Golem — Sat, 15 Dec 2001 10:58:09 -0800

After OJ was cleared of the murder charge, some people wondered if any evidence short of a video tape of the crime would be enough to convict a celebrity. Apparently, even that's not enough: Winona Ryder was caught on tape stealing thousands of dollars of merchandise, but they let her go (on account of all the drugs she was allegedly on) and went after her doctor instead.

Porn Again

Golem — Sun, 02 Dec 2001 21:40:15 -0800

Heavy is the head that wears the B-movie crown, and by the mid-nineties Monique Gabrielle formally abdicated, driven by the lack of respect afforded B-movie actresses, the minuscule pay and crappy scripts they get, and her own growing health problems and anxiety issues that kept her from auditioning for higher caliber films.

Third Wind

Golem — Sat, 01 Dec 2001 10:25:39 -0800

First Requiem for a Dream and now A Beautiful Mind. Who knows how long this trend of Jennifer Connelly movies met with both critical and commercial success will last, but Jennifer definitely seems to be making steady progress out of the 'Where Are They Now?' file.

Looking for Mr. Right.com

Golem — Mon, 12 Nov 2001 13:54:25 -0800

'In what parallel universe do computer geeks look anything like Keanu Reeves?' a friend once asked me as she set about demonstrating that The Matrix was completely implausible.

Heavy Is the Chest That Wears the Boobs

Golem — Tue, 06 Nov 2001 12:58:24 -0800

For every unbelievable bustline in Hollywood, there's an equally unbelievable creation myth to explain it.

Uprising

Golem — Sun, 04 Nov 2001 11:05:06 -0800

Say what you will about TV's Uprising, but Leelee Sobieski looked pretty good in it ... pale, pudgy face and all.

13 Ghosts, 0 Hooters

Golem — Fri, 26 Oct 2001 13:21:13 -0800

Since the 'warning' of nudity has become part of the advertising campaign for 13 Ghosts, I should probably say for the record that anyone going to see the film hoping to see Shannon Elizabeth at her American Pie best will be gravely disappointed -- the only nudity comes from one of the ghosts. Buyer beware.

Model, Interrupted

Golem — Tue, 23 Oct 2001 14:09:57 -0800

Just when she was starting to become famous over here via Victoria's Secret and the E! channel, Laetitia Casta has now all but disappeared.

Jamie's New Album Already Debuted ... On TV

Golem — Mon, 15 Oct 2001 12:29:00 -0800

On the eve of the release of Jamie-Lynn Sigler's new album, I've just learned that most of us have in fact already heard a sample of Jamie's vocal prowess -- it seems that she does the vocals for the singing belly buttons on those obnoxious Levis commercials.

Leeleepalooza

Golem — Mon, 15 Oct 2001 11:53:00 -0800

At this moment there are more Leelee Sobieski flicks being dropped on theaters than bombs over Kabul. Ordinarily I'd say that still doesn't change anything as far as Leelee's career goes anymore than a new Janeane Garofalo theatrical release is likely to make Janeane a major player, but I'm beginning to think that the constant mention of her name on TV through the trailers and talk show appearances is starting to weave 'some pig' over her stall whether or not any of her new films do well at the box office.

Boston Public

Golem — Mon, 01 Oct 2001 11:01:10 -0800

Well, the good news is that Jeri Ryan fans can still get a fix on Fox's high school melodrama Boston Public (is there no one on that show who isn't boffing their students?). The bad news is that Jeri's days of Shannon Tweed-esque cable debauchery have been moved back a few years.

Charmed

Golem — Mon, 01 Oct 2001 01:11:52 -0800

Hollywood is like a vast interrogation room in that anything you say can and will be used against you later on in your career -- unless you're too small a star like Rose McGowan to matter.

Before You Email Me...

Golem — Tue, 25 Sep 2001 11:42:31 -0800

A lot of people have been emailing me objecting to my little comments about Leelee Sobieski, the complaints usually centering on one of two themes: (1) How dare I suggest that Leelee is anything less than drop dead gorgeous? (2) How dare I suggest that Leelee's career will be more familiar to video renters than moviegoers unless her top comes off?

Prozac Nation

Golem — Sat, 15 Sep 2001 12:44:57 -0800

The movie hasn't come out yet (it's forever being pushed back), but juicy stills are starting to leak out -- I'm happy to report that the day some of us thought would never come has come at last: Christina Ricci has finally unveiled her two biggest and most enduring assets on film in her first nude scene.

Another Show Killed by New Hair?

Golem — Sat, 15 Sep 2001 11:09:09 -0800

Well, after a season of the new do, it looks like Friends aren't forever after all. And with Rock Star not exactly setting the world on fire, one has to wonder how long it will be before Jennifer Aniston permanently disappears into the same black hole that swallowed Roseanne and Jerry Seinfeld.

What the...?

Golem — Tue, 04 Sep 2001 12:57:23 -0800

Samantha Fox is getting married. Sort of.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Golem — Sun, 26 Aug 2001 12:58:20 -0800

How much longer will Shannon Elizabeth be able to keep her clothes on and still find work?

Hitting the Wall at 25?

Golem — Mon, 20 Aug 2001 12:09:54 -0800

Perhaps it's the pressure of being questioned by everyone about Elizabeth Grubman's lethal driving, or perhaps she's having trouble recovering from the Carson Daly thing, but Tara Reid's starting to look a little ... undead. She was cute in American Pie, but by American Pie 2 some crucial ingredients seemed to be missing, and now she just looks downright unhealthy.

Ghost World

Golem — Sat, 18 Aug 2001 11:08:49 -0800

It's not often that I can say this about someone on this site, but it looks like Thora Birch has beaten the odds and made another really good movie.

Lessons from the Infelicitous Past

Golem — Wed, 01 Aug 2001 14:25:26 -0800

They say that those who forget the hairstyles of the past are doomed to repeat them -- and low-rated Roswell is now more doomed than ever with newly shorn Katherine Heigl.

What a Difference a Couple Years Make

Golem — Wed, 01 Aug 2001 12:45:03 -0800

Gotta hand it to her -- like Houdini, Helena Bonham-Carter somehow managed to unshackle herself from period fare like Frankenstein, Twelfth Night and Wings of the Dove and begin redefining her niche in Hollywood with films like Fight Club and Planet of the Apes. Not an easy feat for an actress as heavily typecast as she was.

Fate Works in Mysterious Ways

Golem — Tue, 17 Jul 2001 12:31:16 -0800

Given how this page got started, it may come as a surprise that my latest updates to the picture gallery and selection of articles came from none other than Sascha Knopf herself, who's quite possibly the friendliest (and most good-humored) person featured on this site that I've been contacted by. (Stacia Zhivago was the previous record-holder.)

If You Can't Beat 'Em...

Golem — Sun, 01 Jul 2001 10:01:52 -0800

In a business where a woman has to be unhealthily thin just to get an audition, Brittany Murphy has figured out how to beat the odds. Her secret? Why, a strict diet, of course -- one apparently inspired by Al Pacino's powdery last meal in Scarface.

Tomb Raider

Golem — Sat, 23 Jun 2001 14:32:12 -0800

Well, it finally happened -- the much-hyped video game action flick made a killing it's opening weekend, then dropped off exponentially once the mediocrity of the film became widely known, but Angelina Jolie, everyone's favorite nutty sexpot, is now officially a Big Star.

Finally...

Golem — Fri, 08 Jun 2001 11:12:39 -0800

Look, everyone loves a drunken party girl now and then. They can be fun to go out with, fun to read about, and, for some people, fun to date -- especially if you're in a hurry to fill the vacancy left by Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Deus ex Machina

Golem — Sun, 20 May 2001 10:48:11 -0800

Spy Kids?!

Politically Incorrect

Golem — Wed, 16 May 2001 15:52:10 -0800

Brooke Burke was on an episode of Politically Incorrect a while ago and, much to my surprise, came off as a sensible and articulate person -- not the empty-headed cue-card reader I was expecting at all.

Angel

Golem — Thu, 15 Mar 2001 12:05:57 -0800

Well I'll be damned. It seems that Brigid Brannagh has officially emerged from the ranks of the Hollywood undead and now has a semi-regular gig on the WB's Angel. Who'da thought?

A Trip to the Cheesecake Factory

Golem — Mon, 05 Feb 2001 11:20:34 -0800

I've lost track of how many years we've all been waiting for something like this, but Nikki Cox, the bride of Bobcat (!), has finally done a spread for a major magazine -- in this case, Gear.

Roll for Damage

Golem — Sun, 10 Dec 2000 12:13:37 -0800

Well, the verdict is in: Never, but never let someone direct a film chiefly because that person was a huge fan of the material.

Jennifer's Stock Plummets Again

Golem — Fri, 08 Dec 2000 10:48:35 -0800

It was a hopeful few weeks, but Fox is finally closing down its ratings road less travelled, the much-hyped but very dull series The $treet. And good riddance, too. Serves them right for selling the show based on steamy sex scenes it never really had and making Jennifer Connelly the poster girl when she was scarcely in the thing.

'They're Real, and They're Spectacular!'

Golem — Mon, 30 Oct 2000 13:46:25 -0800

Was Thora Birch's nudity in American Beauty faked?

Nikki

Golem — Sun, 15 Oct 2000 11:20:20 -0800

Well, it's finally happened -- Nikki Cox is back on TV with her own show, and one that critics seem to like.

Premature Burial

Golem — Mon, 09 Oct 2000 11:45:01 -0800

No sooner did I post yesterday's comment than an avid Denise Richards fan/apologist offered me an alternative analysis of the James Bond fiasco:

Coroner's Report

Golem — Sun, 08 Oct 2000 11:29:41 -0800

I don't remember it standing out so much in Starship Troopers or Wild Things, but when I finally got around to watching The World Is Not Enough on cable, the ugly truth was too glaring to ignore: Beautiful though Denise Richards may be, the girl simply cannot act.

The Second Coming of Jennifer

Golem — Fri, 01 Sep 2000 10:00:07 -0800

Well, it's taken a while, but at long last Jennifer Connelly has found a way to get a little more exposure beyond getting naked in films that no one will ever see -- she's got a prominent role on Fox's The $treet.

Case Dropped

Golem — Tue, 25 Jul 2000 16:49:45 -0800

Mike Wilson's lawyer reportedly made him realize that he has no case. It's about friggin' time.

Forced Disappearing Act

Golem — Thu, 08 Jun 2000 16:21:46 -0800

Well, the possibility of maintaining a Kerri Kendall picture archive unharrassed is looking more and more remote now, so for the time being (and possibly forever), the goodies here will have to be taken off the shelf. Sorry, folks.

More Than One Way to Skin a Site

Golem — Wed, 07 Jun 2000 16:11:02 -0800

It's been the better part of a week since Mike Wilson's last telephone tantrum regarding this site (that I know of), so I'm guessing that either the threat of a countersuit for spamming off my webhost's server was more than he wanted to deal with, or someone finally explained to him the difficulties involved with suing for pictures that aren't his.

Et Tu, Kerri?

Golem — Wed, 31 May 2000 15:10:07 -0800

Today I had another run-in with Kerri Kendall. Sort of. And not in a good way.

The Rise of Angelina Jolie

Golem — Thu, 20 Jan 2000 13:02:39 -0800

Every now and then people ask me, 'Why do you have people like Uma Thurman and Salma Hayek on your site? I thought 'The Iconophile' was all about obscure actresses.' It shouldn't be long now before they start asking me the same thing about Angelina Jolie.

How Did They Ever?

Golem — Tue, 15 Jun 1999 11:53:24 -0800

It didn't occur to me when I first set up this page, but someone recently pointed out that Christi Harris was only 15 (or 16 at most) when she shot her nude scenes in Night of the Demons 2 (the film was released well after it was shot, for those of you doing the math) -- and only a year older for Night of the Scarecrow.

A Brush With the Elbow of Minor Greatness

Golem — Sun, 25 Apr 1999 14:55:10 -0800

A funny thing happened on the way to the tennis court today. And it was wearing stretch shorts.