THE ICONOPHILE
 
REVEALED TRUTHS ARCHIVE

NOTE: Many of the older Truths have not yet been archived here, but I’m working on it.

Comments

Exodus
April 14, 2011
It’s been a fun ride, but the satisfaction of making each part of each post by hand has pretty much dried up at this point. The time has come for this site to finally leap forward into the middle of last decade and embrace actual web publishing technology. And move to newer digs, to boot....
Wabbit season
April 7, 2011
If ever there was a perfect match between a company and its representative model, it’s the one between Beach Bunny swimwear and quintessentially beach bunny-like Kate Upton....
The opposite of subliminal: Sofía Vergara’s new Pepsi ad
April 4, 2011
In 1957, the words “Drink Coca-Cola” were flashed for 1/30 of a second at five-second intervals during a film to see if Coca-Cola sales would increase at the concession stand, and a new term — “subliminal advertising” — was coined. Fifty-four years later, Pepsi is unleashing Sofía Vergara’s unfairly compelling curves in what might be called “sensory overload advertising”. And the more photos that come in from the set, the more it looks like the FCC might have to get involved....
More swords and softcore with Eva Green in Camelot
April 2, 2011
I was a little worried that Eva Green’s sex and nudity in episode one of Camelot might be all there was for her in the series, but as can be seen from this Dreamers-like shot from episode two, Eva fans have reason to keep watching....
Kate Upton’s juggy guesswork
March 31, 2011
Cheesy or classy? I suppose it’s the genius of Guess? that we have to ask at all. Especially when the model is Kate Upton, who, while gorgeous, has all the gravitas of the UCLA girl....
Belle of the Blue Balls: Eliza Dushku
March 29, 2011
Ah, what a difference a bra makes. While not offering any actual cleavage, Eliza Dushku nevertheless came bearing gifts to Perez Hilton’s Blue Ball birthday celebration that were harder to miss than they’ve been in a while now. A happy birthday for all of us....
The retro-juggification of Jessica Alba
March 21, 2011
If the good folks of Harper’s Bazaar had waited just three more months, they wouldn’t have had to Photoshop in so much cleavage (and a lower-cut dress to showcase it) in these outtakes and re-releases of Jessica Alba’s January/February issue; the baby-boobs would have done their work for them....
Katherine Heigl’s bikini layout in Miami Beach
March 19, 2011
It’s been five years since Katherine Heigl’s last hit, and between the unwatchable romantic comedies she’s put out since then and her reputation for impolitic criticism of the shows and movies she’s in, the time may have come to ask not when will Katherine star in a film that isn’t derivative dreck, but what will be her legacy now that all the promise of her earlier acting career seems to have died. The answer, for better or worse, may be the bikini top she’s wearing in these photos from Miami Beach, sadly the most interesting thing she’s done in half a decade....
Kelly Brook in Italian Max
March 19, 2011
This site is certainly no stranger to hyperbole, and I appreciate that Italy’s interest in bosomy Kelly Brook might be running high right now, what with Piranha 3D having debuted there less than a month ago, but “Kelly Brook to conquer Hollywood”? Not even if she hadn’t gotten knocked up....
Kelly Brook’s nipply new shoot for Reebok
March 19, 2011
Enjoy it while it lasts; it’ll most likely be a while before she looks like this again....
Warning: Kelly Brook’s pregnancy may cause significant shrinkage
March 19, 2011
Kelly Brook announced on her Twitter feed a few days ago that she’s pregnant by boyfriend Thom Evans. A joyous occasion for her personally, I suppose, and good for her fans insofar as it’ll make her already ample E cups scale the alphabet even further for a time. Probably not be so good for her gig as Reebok spokesmodel, though, nor for her aspirations in Hollywood so soon after the moderate success of Piranha 3D. And without wankable media appearances to keep interest alive, what will become of her mostly male fanbase?...
Maria Grazia Cuccinotta finally naked
March 17, 2011
Yes, the nudity in L’imbroglio nel lenzuolo is fleeting and best appreciated in stills, but after 20 years of waiting for a glimpse of Maria Grazia Cuccinotta’s giant jugs (how she got this far in Italian cinema without ever whipping those things out before is an utter mystery), I’m just glad I was still alive when it finally happened....
Hollywood needs plumbers 2: The Secret X-rated Photos of the American Teenager
March 14, 2011
The digital camera might be both the greatest invention and the dumbest invention of our age. Something for pneumatic starlet Renee Olstead of The Secret Life of the American Teenager to ponder while these allegedly hacked photos of her make the rounds....
Hollywood needs plumbers: The leaked Scarlett Johansson photo
March 14, 2011
It’s not often you get a leaked photo of an A-list celebrity, but there’s one floating around now of a semi-dressed Scarlett Johansson. Allegedly....
Sofía Vergara’s Image Award
March 8, 2011
It’s one thing to see stills of Sofía Vergara nearly spilling out of her gown at the NAACP Image Awards — it’s another thing entirely to see that jiggly mini-drama in motion....
Kate Upton’s 2011 Spring / Summer Jenna Leigh shoot
March 8, 2011
So is tweets-gone-wild model Kate Upton heading more toward Tara Reiddom than Elledom? Who cares? If there’s anything that recent events have taught us, it’s that as long as she can back up the tigress blood with juggy Venus DNA, she won’t just be winning, but bi-winning....
“So you fear my legs. Now you know that these are just as deadly.”
March 3, 2011
Maybe it’s because so much attention has already been paid to Amanda Seyfried’s ample bosom (her roles in Veronica Mars, Mean Girls, Alpha Dog and Chloe were all pretty boob-centric), maybe it’s because she actually prefers her bottom half to her top, but off the set Amanda’s been dressing to emphasize her legs and backside (with short shorts, microskirts, and stretch pants) to the near exclusion of everything else for years. So thank God for Amanda’s appearance on Letterman, where she reminded the world once more that there’s more to her than a nice pair of gams; there’s a nice pair of boobs, too....
Kelly Brook’s new(ish) photos for FHM
March 1, 2011
It seems there’s a long-standing tradition in Britain of republishing old Kelly Brook photo shoots from other magazines as if they were new. And indeed, the photo shoot in the April 2011 issue of FHM is mostly republished material from the August 2010 issue of Maxim. But there are also a few outtakes thrown in the mix, as well as a couple old photos differently sized and cropped. So still a happy day in the land of lad mags, even if it is mostly déjà vu....
Oh boy.
February 27, 2011
As grateful as I am for model Kate Upton’s latest flurry of boob-centered party pix posted to her Twitter account, it’s already starting to look like we’re in for a very short run as the attention-seeking 18-year-old rapidly evolves into something less like the new Elle or Claudia Schiffer and more like the new Tara Reid....
Must-See TV: Eva Green’s sex scene in Camelot
February 26, 2011
Let no one doubt that Camelot is a magical place. By decree the summers cannot get too hot, the rain doesn’t fall until after sundown, the fogs must lift by 8:00 AM, and juggy, momentary It Girl Eva Green of The Dreamers simulates sex for Canadian TV....
Jennifer Tilly’s “gawk and awe” poker strategy continues
February 24, 2011
It’s a sound enough strategy: you can’t look for tells in Jennifer Tilly’s face if your eyes never make it past her enormous cleavage. And while it may push her to the same Dangerfield-esque, “I get no respect” periphery in her poker career that it always has her acting career, at $660,000+ in wins for last year, it’s clearly a strategy that’s working for her....
Amanda Seyfried’s curiously upper-thigh-centric shoot for Interview
February 23, 2011
Lord knows that Amanda Seyfried has other, more obvious bodily features that next month’s Interview magazine could have chosen to focus on. And certainly I would have been a very happy camper if it had. But given Amanda’s apparent preference for short shorts in private life, I suppose a shoot like this has long been due....
Chloe Sevigny ramps up the cleavage for Harper’s Bazaar
February 23, 2011
Chloe Sevigny talks about her seeming date with Pauly D, her evolving place in anti-Hollywood, her face (“not interesting enough, not pretty enough”), and her dream of someday being glamorous onscreen in next month’s Harper’s Bazaar. If this sort of cleavage is what she means by “glamorous”, then I think I might like to see her be glamorous onscreen, too....
Did Jessica Alba get knocked up again?
February 14, 2011
Maybe it’s the dress — and the fact that her boobs haven’t looked this big since the last time she was pregnant — but Jessica’s starting to look like she’s posing for two now. Just a little bit....
Mila Kunis’ momentary cleavage in W
February 12, 2011
In the post-That ’70s Show wake of Mila Kunis’ still rising star, there is probably no shortage of guys with Mila fetishes. And I suspect there would be even more such fan boys were it not for one missing element. Let’s call it boobs. But in this age of technical marvels, I suppose it should come as no surprise that even that hurdle would sooner or later be overcome, if only through photographic sleight of hand....
Kelly Brook full frontal by ... Dexter Morgan?
February 11, 2011
It’s been a while since the world has seen Kelly Brook this naked this clearly. Or with this much quasi-gore....
A Francia Raisa-shaped raison d’être for Justin Bieber
February 10, 2011
Ah, Justin Bieber. Say what one will about tween America’s much maligned heart-throb du jour, but if the premiere of his concert film Never Say Never is reason enough to get Francia Raisa out on the red carpet in a boob suit, then internet pranksters should probably not be so anxious to send the kid off to North Korea, even for the lulz....
Jessica Alba “really naked”
February 8, 2011
Well, well, well. It seems Jessica Alba was much more of a method actor back in 2007 than I would have ever imagined. And in the best possible way....
What ever happened to Marla Sokoloff? CSI is on the case.
February 7, 2011
It’s been hard to keep track of motorboatable Marla Sokoloff — a TV movie here, a short-lived series there. Luckily, she was recently on CSI: NY, a show with a much larger audience and a better chance that someone would vidcap it than she’s had in a while. Here’s a little of what we’ve been missing....
Mesa horny: Mila Kunis as Amidala’s slutty evil twin
February 7, 2011
If Natalie Portman’s Queen Amidala ever had a Black Swan-esque nemesis, she’d probably look a lot like Mila Kunis’s leggy, Leia-like vamp in this issue of The Los Angeles Times. Something for George Lucas to think about when he releases another tweaked version of the series for this or that anniversary....
Kelly Brook in bikini and ... Peggy Bundy-wear
February 3, 2011
It’s a disappointingly common pattern among women in the spotlight who become famous for their sex appeal but then stop their prurient pandering once they think their fame has become self-sustaining. Thank God, then, for Kelly Brook, the famously bosomy Page 3 girl who, despite sallies into more or less mainstream television, film, and theater, has yet to become so forbiddingly famous that chesty cheesecake fare like this is beneath her....
Built for the job: Alice Eve in Australian Esquire
January 31, 2011
Like everyone else in Hollywood, Alice Eve has films coming up that need promoting — The Raven, The Decoy Bride, ATM, and, before she petitioned to be let out of the project after certain script changes were made, X-Men: First Class. And when you’re effectively typecast as the Hot Chick, as Alice is, movie promotion pretty much means a boobie shoot for one or more men’s magazines....
Avon calling
January 27, 2011
Say what one will about Avon, a company arguably more famous in popular culture for its door-to-door sales strategy than for its actual products, but the last time Reese Witherspoon ramped up the cleavage and otherwise put aside the asexual mom persona she’s been in for lo these many years — as she recently did at the Avon “Believe” tour in Atlanta — was at another Avon event last October. Probably not very encouraging news for Jim Toth, Witherspoon’s current boyfriend, but it makes for a few pretty photos in the meantime....
Carla Gugino’s “I’ve got movies coming out” boob-a-thon
January 26, 2011
Like a lot of other actors, ever curvy Carla Gugino has a bunch of movies slated to come out in 2011 — four, according to IMDB — a usually unplanned state of affairs that runs the risk of overexposure. But as long as that overexposure necessitates the kind of overexposure found in the pages of Esquire to promote it, I say a re-release of every damn movie Carla ever made is in order....
Love, Drugs, and Anne Hathaway’s boobs in Blu-Ray
January 25, 2011
What to make of Love and Other Drugs? Critics were divided, but the movie-going public spoke with more or less one voice: Meh. If you didn’t see it — and most of you didn’t — here’s a Blu-Ray look at some of what you missed....
All about Eve
January 24, 2011
It feels like it’s been a long, long time since She’s Out of My League star Alice Eve has been in the public view, even though League and Alice’s wet-topped turn in Sex and the City 2 came out just last year. And she has three more movies coming out this year. But just in case we’ve already forgotten who she is, she brought a refresher course to the British Comedy Awards. Squint just a little and you can see everything you need to know....
Scarlett Johansson’s champaign music video
January 19, 2011
Sure, it’s not the jugtastic Scarlett Johansson we all fondly remember from a few years ago, but a less curvy Scarlett plied with bottles and bottles of alcohol is still worth watching....
The Curious Case of Valerie Bertinelli
January 19, 2011
When a heterosexual guy who tells you he has a Valerie Bertinelli fetish, you can bet the farm he’s talking about the old Valerie — by which I mean the young one from the 70s and 80s. And cleavage moth though I am, the juggier, slimmer Valerie of recent years never enthralled me the way the younger one did. But now, at Betty White’s 89th birthday celebration, I find myself happy to see Valerie in a way I haven’t been with her in decades....
Valentine’s Day comes early: Michelle Williams in the raw
January 18, 2011
So the reviews for Blue Valentine have been a little mixed and you’re wondering if you should see it now on the big screen or wait for it to come to cable. Maybe this will help you decide......
Sofía Vergara’s Golden Globes afterparty funbags, fully deployed
January 18, 2011
With all the hoopla over whether Ricky Gervais was an unfunny jerk or a funny jerk at the Golden Globes, people seem to have forgotten what matters most about the event — the Hot Chicks of Hollywood in malfunction-prone dresses. Not that there was a lot of that this time around, but Sofía Vergara certainly held up her end of the bargain....
Renee Olstead as a busty bottle brunette at the Golden Globes
January 18, 2011
Since I stopped watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager (an endurance test for anyone old enough to drive), my Renee Olstead fixes have been few and far between. Thank God, then, for the Golden Globes afterparties....
Sunbathing with the stars: The Joanna Krupa bikini reality show
January 14, 2011
When your career becomes all reality shows, are any photos of you really “candid” anymore?...
More Moët mehness
January 14, 2011
Two more Moët & Chandon champagne ads featuring Scarlett Johansson came out recently — though there’s little reason to be raising a glass just yet. But there might be soon....
Better late than never: Charlotte Ross naked in Drive Angry
January 13, 2011
It’s one of the great cruelties in life that the actresses you most want to see naked on screen never are until well after their prime. Case in point: Charlotte Ross. Like anyone who was aware of NYPD Blue from last decade, I looked forward to the day when Charlotte’s boobs, apparently among New York’s finest crime-fighting tools, would come into their own on the big screen. That day never came ... until now....
Colombian cover girl
January 7, 2011
The great thing about Sofía Vergara: She’s reliably hot. Which is to say that she knows why she is where she is — and always dresses accordingly....
Holiday hooter roundup
January 2, 2011
What sort of year will 2011 be? In older days, people would study the flight of birds to gauge a thing’s auspiciousness. Judging from the preening birds we have for study this New Year’s vacation — the bikini-wearing Jessica Alba, Kelly Brook, Salma Hayek, and Chloe Sevigny — it looks like we’re in for a very auspicious year indeed....
Salma Hayek bikini photos: It’s about damn time
December 30, 2010
As synonymous as Salma Hayek is with eye-popping cleavage, there are surprisingly few proper bikini photos of her these days. Luckily for all of us, stalkerazzi in St. Bart’s have recently corrected that oversight....
Thank God it’s over
December 15, 2010
That the once famously curvy Scarlett Johansson and still famously ripped Ryan Reynolds are getting divorced should hardly come as a surprise — Scarlett has often said that human beings are not monogamous by nature. What’s more: there’s an upside to this break-up. For all of us....
Wet Jennifer Aniston cleavage
December 9, 2010
So like most people, you didn’t see Jennifer Aniston’s The Bounty Hunter, and now your nights are plagued with non-buyer’s remorse. “Was I wrong to pass on The Bounty Hunter? Did I miss out on something by not giving it a second thought?” No, your instincts were right. But those of you who would have liked seeing Jennifer Aniston’s rack all pushed up for maximum cleavage, but not at the steep cost of having to actually sit through The Bounty Hunter, here’s a little of what you missed....
Always in fashion
December 8, 2010
When you’re built like Kelly Brook, you’re not just forever in fashion, you’re beyond fashion....
Chlöe Sevigny topless: Feeling the big love again
December 8, 2010
A Chloë Sevigny fetish is an easy one to forget that one has — she is, let’s be honest, not the most conventional beauty of a sister-wife in Hollywood. But then she poses naked for some magazine or other — in this case, Blast magazine, and we’re reminded all over again how that whole Chloë Sevigny fetish got started in the first place....
Erika Christensen’s stocking stuffers are pan-denominational
December 3, 2010
Lord knows nothing says holiday cheer like Erika Christensen’s festive funbags, whether you’re waiting for the return of Jesus, Kalki, or the Mothership....
Fuss ’n’ Feathers
November 29, 2010
It’s not like we haven’t seen photos like this a hundred times before — Kelly Brook climbing out of a car, Kelly Brook walking to some function or other, Kelly Brook posing for the paparazzi — it’s the generously exposed, pushed-up E-cups in feathers that transform these otherwise commonplace and banal photos into the realm of the sublime....
Jennifer Aniston’s Thanksgiving bounty
November 26, 2010
In this era of bio-engineered superplants and factory farming, a bountiful harvest is something most of the industrialized West takes for granted. But in the entertainment industry, where so many It Girls hit the wall at 30 or disappear after one or two box office flops, the continuing bounty of 41-year-old Jennifer Aniston’s poky bikini top o’ plenty is still something we can all give thanks for....
A sneak peek at the goods from Love and Other Drugs
November 26, 2010
So you’d like to see Anne Hathaway naked again (it’s been 5 years since Brokeback Mountain), but you’re not sure you want to endure the monetary and spiritual cost of sitting through another painful romantic comedy like Love and Other Drugs (Entertainment Weekly gives it a C+)? Maybe this’ll help with the decision process....
Anne Hathaway in British Elle
November 23, 2010
Love and Other Drugs hasn’t even come out yet and I’m already tired of it. The ubiquitousness of the Anne Hathaway-Jake Gyllenhaal shill team has left me feeling like I’ve been trapped in a small room with quasi-famous barker of questionable TV wares Billy Mays. But seeing Anne and her cleavage in the December issue of British Elle today made me realize that it’s really just goofily grinning Jake and his Prince of Persia beefiness that have been rubbing me the wrong way; Anne, I see now, can still rub me all she likes....
The rise of Asia
November 22, 2010
It’s been a long while since I’ve seen anything from Asia Argento, and most of that’s been the surreptitious bikini shots taken by paparazzi. Has it been worth the wait? You be the judge....
The three faces of Anne are all topless
November 18, 2010
I loves me some quasi-topless Anne Hathaway photos as much as anyone. And Entertainment Weekly’s multiple covers of Anne sort of topless for the November 26 issue seems like even more of a good thing. But what’s the point of putting out multiple covers if they’re all from the same shoot and at a casual glance nearly identical?...
The new Jessica Alba
November 17, 2010
The Jessica Alba we all knew and loved — that is, the sex symbol Jessica Alba — was declared dead in December of 2005 — and by none other than Jessica herself. Five years later, a new, presumably less sexy Jessica Alba rose phoenix-like from the still sexy ashes of the old Jessica and was hailed as the new Angelina Jolie by Tattler magazine. And now, according to the December issue of Elle, an even newer Jessica will finally bury the putrid corpse of Sexy Jessica by becoming the new Lucille Ball....
A little more cleavage than usual from Rose McGowan
November 15, 2010
Rose McGowan’s face might not look the way we remember it, but the rest of her can still look good when she wants it to....
Kelly Brook cleavage for all occasions
November 15, 2010
Not sure what the occasion is here, but when Kelly Brook’s sporting this much cleavage, the whys and wherefores hardly matter....
Presenting Jennifer Aniston’s boobs. Again.
November 15, 2010
So can we at long last admit as a nation that, as delightful as Jennifer Aniston’s endless film iterations of “Rachel Green” have been over the years, we’re really just interested in her boobs now?...
Again with Tara and her wayward boob
November 11, 2010
Hey, it’s happy hour somewhere, right? And on Tara Reid’s 35th birthday, that hour is always now. And what would a drunken night in Taradise be without a silicone Taradome or two popping out? It wouldn’t....
A curvy opening night for Anne Hathaway
November 11, 2010
Normally I prefer a little more visible cleavage to bother making a post about this or that new batch of photos, but somehow Anne Hathaway in this dress at the AFI fest gala for Love and Other Drugs manages to warrant it even without the usual opening night jiggles....
Specs appeal
November 11, 2010
Model Kelly Brook doesn’t really wear glasses, but that’s hardly kept her from being the face and boobs of the Spectacle Wearer of the Year awards, a sort of Top Model put on by Specsavers Opticians, the LensCrafters of the UK. Of course, for someone who’s probably had to say “my eyes are up here” more than a few times in her life, it’s possible no one’s even looked to see if she wears glasses or not....
Sofía Vergara in transparent lace
November 8, 2010
Settle down — the only thing showing through Sofía Vergara’s top is her bra. Still, I think anything showing through Sofía’s top is a stop-the-presses sort of event. You be the judge....
Hooked on phonics with Monica Bellucci’s boobs
November 8, 2010
It’s been said that the printed word is dead. But in this era of broadband Internet access, so, too, is the printed image. Someone probably should have told Monica Bellucci that before she unveiled her new picture book featuring 150 photos every Bellucci fan’s already had on his computer for decades....
God bless the Internet: Topless postpartum photos of Jessica Alba
November 5, 2010
To be a fan of Jessica Alba has always been to live with disappointment, for the prayers of the Alba faithful to behold her naked or topless in a movie have always been flatly denied or raised and then dashed with the faux nudity of body doubles and CGI, and to date her most risqué work remains the bikini photos wrested from her by paparazzi. All that changed today, though, when private photos taken shortly after giving birth were leaked into the echo chamber of cyberspace....
More of Brooke Burke in the leather catsuit — for the kids
November 4, 2010
I don’t know — if I were a pre-adolescent kid dying of AIDS, I’m not sure how much the presence of bosomy former Wild On host Brooke Burke dressed as Cat Woman would really ease my suffering....
Optimus Prime: In a world that doesn’t, Kelly Brook’s rack does
November 4, 2010
As a cranky curmudgeon who still refuses to buy into the cell phone racket, I couldn’t care less about the recent launch of the LG Optimus One smart phone or any other whizzy gizmo with iffy service and a mandatory two-year contract. Unless, of course, Kelly Brook’s reliably ridiculous curves are in attendance. Now the release of yet another smart phone I have no intention of buying seems strangely important....
Diaphanous Dushku
November 2, 2010
The trouble with being an actor on a hit show from seven years ago is that, no matter how pretty or charismatic you were, people start to forget if you’re not on a hit show now. So here’s Eliza Dushku in transparent lingerie to remind us, and to assure the faithful that she’s still worth the wait for her next short-lived project....
She’s not bad, she’s just photographed that way
November 1, 2010
It’s been over two decades since Who Framed Roger Rabbit? hit the screens, and while the pop cultural relevance of the film seems to have largely disappeared, we may give thanks that one curvy cartoon icon from the movie continues to resonate with 21-year-old Renee Olstead: Jessica Rabbit....
Reese Witherspoon: Still hot when she wants to be
October 28, 2010
After a decade of her desexed I’m-a-mom-now-thank-you demeanor, it’s nice to be reminded now and then that Reese Witherspoon can still dust off the sexy when she has a mind to....
Renee Olstead in prête-à-baiser fashion wear
October 28, 2010
I don’t know fashion, but I know what I like when I see it. Which is to say that the more of Renee Olstead’s pushed up boobs I can see — in this case at the Kelly Nishimoto collection 5th anniversary party — the more I like....
Meadow Soprano — Now with jugs!
October 25, 2010
It’s been a long time coming, but former Sopranos star Jamie-Lynn Sigler has finally eaten her way back into relative hotness....
The everyday T&A of Hollywood: Amanda Seyfried
October 25, 2010
If there’s one thing I still miss about moving out of L.A. lo these many years ago, it’s the little, unexpected moments of generous name-brand cleavage like this one from Amanda Seyfried while walking her dog....
Rosario Dawson in German GQ
October 8, 2010
Oh yeah, Rosario Dawson. Haven’t seen her in anything in a while, so it came as quite a surprise to see her not only discussing “Männer, Liebe und Sex” in next month’s German GQ, but looking juggier and more cleavagey than she has in years....
Jessica Alba in British GQ
October 8, 2010
You know, after that Machete CGI business, in which Jessica Alba shot her shower scene in her underwear but appeared naked in the final cut, I’m a wee suspicious of all Jessica photo shoots now — even though I know that most major magazines have long been doing everything short of pasting celebrities’ heads on better bodies for years now. Still, it’s Jessica Alba, more or less, and like the rest of the world I guess I’m still content to take what I can get....
Future mommy issues
September 28, 2010
Most of us would presumably wince at the thought of sexualizing a parent, but what if that parent were Jessica Alba — and, like the Oh Henry heiress from Seinfeld, went about town wearing a bra as a top?...
Renee Olstead’s boobtastic weekend
September 27, 2010
Renee Olstead’s actual mammary mass has been pretty up and down these last few years, but she nevertheless knocked another one out of the park with the boob suit she wore to PETA’s 30th anniversary gala and humanitarian awards in Hollywood this weekend....
The jugs of My Generation
September 27, 2010
It’s been my misfortune in life that when I start watching a TV show on account of some actress’ rack, the show’s usually so taxingly inane that I end up resolving never to do that again. The Secret Life of the American Teenager on account of Renee Olstead comes to mind. But seeing these promotional photos of über-juggy Kelli Garner for My Generation, I wonder now if this is a lesson I’ll ever learn....
The illusion of boobs
September 10, 2010
Frustrated with having hired famously bosomy Scarlett Johansson to be its spokesmodel only to find that her curves had disappeared the year before, fashion company Mango seems to have taken to simply photoshopping in some depth-giving shadows....
Christina Hendricks’ Emmy show-stoppers
August 30, 2010
Perhaps because I’m one of the reportedly few people in America who doesn’t watch Mad Men, I’m also one of the few men in this country who isn’t especially taken with famously ginormo-jugged Christina Hendricks. But even I have to admit: moments with Christina’s brow-raising bosom at the Emmys last night were easily the most interesting of the otherwise yawner of a show....
Jessica Alba simulating sex over and over. Now in Blu-Ray.
August 26, 2010
Usually Jessica Alba’s name on a marquee buys a wide release. The Killer Inside Me, on the other hand, opened at a few theaters for a short time and then went straight to DVD. Draw your own conclusions. But if repeated voyeuristic sex with Jessica Alba is something that appeals to you, you could do far worse than The Killer Inside Me:...
Kelly Brook: Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Reebok. (Hint: It’s not Reebok.)
August 5, 2010
It’s the shoe that can give you the ass that model Kelly Brook already had when Reebok hired her to model the shoe that supposedly gave her that ass....
So there was a reason to see Sex and the City 2 after all...
July 30, 2010
Sure, I knew that busty British actress Alice Eve (She’s Out of My League) was in Sex and the City 2, and I also liked the HBO series, but there just wasn’t enough estrogen in the world that could be pumped into me to get me to sit through the films, I felt. Now it’s very, very transparent how wrong I was....
Asia Argento’s bikini boat show
July 25, 2010
Apparently there was room for only one other person on Italian icon Asia Argento’s maritime dramamine dolce vita, but through the magic of photography, tenacity, and questionable ethics, the whole world can now scrutinize Asia’s bikini bod and tattoos from close quarters....
Kelly Brook’s Comic-Con cleavage
July 24, 2010
Geek though I am, I’ve never been that species of geek that feels the need to make a pilgrimage to San Diego every year in answer to Comic-Con’s commercialized call to prayer. Comic books and press junkets just aren’t my particular affliction. Or so I thought until yesterday’s arrival of Kelly Brook and her Page 3 shock-and-awe rack to promote Piranha 3D....
Jennifer Tilly’s weapons of mass distraction are getting even more massive
July 22, 2010
As other animals have evolved various mechanisms for defense and attack to adapt to their environment, so mega-boobed Jennifer Tilly appears to have refined her own special adaptations to the life of the celebrity poker player....
Stacey Dash décolletage in Karin + Raoul magazine
July 22, 2010
I’ve never heard of Karin and Raoul, but as long as they keep serving up the less over-exposed pulchritude of Hollywood for our viewing pleasure, I hope the two of them stay together a long, long time....
Baciata dalla protesi mammarie
July 22, 2010
Possibly on break from filming Baciato dalla fortuna, tatted-up Suicide Girl archtype Asia Argento was spotted filling out bikini tops and ashtrays on the beach in Forte dei Marmi. Che fortuna!...
Raise your hand if you don’t smell like Jennifer Aniston
July 22, 2010
Who won’t be smelling like Jennifer Aniston this year? People who don‘t shop at Harrod’s, the exclusive vendor of Jennifer’s scent — and, if last year’s SmartWater-gate is any indicator, Jennifer Aniston herself....
Sofía Vergara’s pecho parade takes Sardinia
July 21, 2010
First there was the bikini-uniformed landing in Ischia, and now Modern Family star Sofía Vergara is breaking out the big guns in Sardinia as well as she sunbathes her way into Europe like some sort of juggy General Patton....
Heather in profile
July 17, 2010
Lest anyone think that Heather Graham’s stay in Ischia, Italy was all about boobs in bikinis, there’s now a photo shoot of her boobs in a dress....
Holy Christ!
July 17, 2010
Like any Kelly Brook fan, I’m anxiously awaiting her appearance in Playboy. But like anyone who’s seen a Playboy celebrity spread in the last decade or so, I know I’ll be disappointed by it. Thank God, then, for Maxim....
Montreal’s Beef with Pamela Anderson
July 17, 2010
Sometimes the difference between sexy and sexist is all in the labeling....
Post-op After.Life
July 14, 2010
It’s one of life’s cruel mysteries why once über-pneumatic Christina Ricci never bared all for the screen until after her breast reduction surgery, but what she now lacks in Sofía Vergara-like cup size she seems bent on making up for in sheer frequency of nudity — particularly in last year’s After.Life, where she not only appears naked, but naked a lot....
The Sofía Vergara juggy jamboree goes down under
July 14, 2010
As if Sofía Vergara’s recent Italian bikini tour weren’t enough, now comes the lingerie spread in the August issue of the Australian edition of FHM. ¡Misericordia!...
The Sofía juggernaut rolls on
July 13, 2010
It’s not the uniform Sofía Vergara promised yesterday, but I feel myself at attention just the same....
Francia Raisa goes a little south of the border
July 13, 2010
It’s not often that my eyes ever stray from the bustline when perusing new bikini photos of anyone, but I couldn’t help noticing that Francia Raisa Almendárez seems not only to be wearing her bikini bottom well below the shaving line, but has chosen to repurpose the region for some sort of Asia Argento-like crotch mural as well....
The uniform of caliente
July 12, 2010
According to Sofía Vergara’s Twitter page, this white bikini will be her uniform for the remainder of her vacation in Ischia, Italy. You know, just in case there were any men left in Italy who weren’t already at attention when they laid eyes on her....
Roman Holiday
July 12, 2010
Generously endowed Heather Graham is on vacation in Ischia, Italy. “Vacation from what?” you snarkily ask? Hey, as long as she’s breaking out the bikini boobs, who truly cares?...
38 candles at the 2010 Global Film Fest
July 12, 2010
Tonight Modern Family star Sofía Vergara celebrated her 38th birthday with her customary mega-cleavage, making it a feliz cumpleaños for all of us....
Sofía’s award-winning cleavage
July 9, 2010
Did Modern Family get nominated for anything at the Emmy Award nominations? Did Sofía Vergara? Anyone who saw the event but still can’t recall might be excused on account of the distracting effect of Sofía’s choice of evening wear that night....
Movie iconolatry with Kelly Brook
July 9, 2010
Sure, Kelly Brook may not much look like Princess Leia or any of the other movie icons she’s sort-of dressed up as for Total Film, but the nice thing about sporting E-cups is that no one really cares about details like that....
Katherine Heigl’s Killer cleavage
July 8, 2010
Juggy moments with Katherine Heigl like this one from Killers are all well and good, but will someone please slit the throat of whoever is advising her to keep making these lobotomized romantic comedies? Sheesh....
Kelly Brook in Barbados: This time, it’s professional
July 3, 2010
Looks like Kelly Brook’s vacation in Barbados wasn’t all paparazzo pictures of boobs and bikinis — it was photo shoot pictures of boobs and bikinis, too....
The Island of Dr. Mohr
June 29, 2010
Having sex with a duck is a misdemeanor in California. But what if that duck used to be Nikki Cox?...
What about all the good things Britain has produced lately?
June 27, 2010
Sure, there’s the BP catastrophe and the company’s staunch non mea culpa stance, but then there’s also photos of Kelly Brook in a bikini in Barbados....
Tele-tetuda
June 23, 2010
Gotta hand it to Salma Hayek — when she goes into promo mode, she brings it like few others....
Renee Olstead’s 21st birthday: Happy birthday to all of us
June 23, 2010
First there was that show-stopping cleavage at GBK’s MTV Movie Awards gift lounge, followed by the bikini boobs later that same day. Now those mudflap girl curves are back and alcohol-legal. This is shaping up to be a very good year....
Fun-baggage claim
June 22, 2010
The baggage that can get thrown around by a gorilla without damage is all well and good, but it’s the sort of baggage shown here by Jessica Alba that makes even a hijacking a fun trip....
Jessica Alba goes to Jimmy Kimmel Live as Joan Rivers in Spaceballs
June 13, 2010
Bizarre, yes. But if it makes Jessica Alba’s boobs look any bigger, then it’s worth it....
Jessica Alba’s café con leche
June 12, 2010
This way, both Jessica Alba and the world get their daily buzz....
Who cares about that ubiquitous scam site calling itself “The Facebook of Sex” when Renee Olstead and Francia Raisa’s racks are on actual Facebook?
June 6, 2010
There are many sites out there calling themselves the Facebook of such-and-such: the Facebook of sex, the Facebook of cash, the Facebook dieting, etc. But so far, only the real Facebook can claim to have Francia Raisa and Renee Olstead’s bikini boobs posted for the world’s enjoyment....
Two reasons to remember that the MTV Movie Awards happened at all
June 6, 2010
After all the hoopla of the MTV Movie Awards this year, the real show was going on at GBK’s gift lounge, where the best gifts were free for anyone with eyes....
Just when she thought it was safe to go back near the water
June 1, 2010
That Jessica Alba can’t go to a beach without being photographed by the stalkerazzi comes as no surprise. That she can’t get into a bikini even at an enclosed pool still seems a wee creepy....
What’s the deal with Loaded magazine?
May 28, 2010
“Exclusive photos”? “Kelly Brook Topless At Last”? Are you kidding?...
Kelly Brook the new face (and body) of Ultimo lingerie
May 17, 2010
It’s been a little while, what with that Calendar Girls business and all, but Kelly is finally back where she does her best work: in front of a camera, half-naked....
Well at least she’s in something now
May 10, 2010
Elisha Cuthbert used to be in 24. She used to be in movies. And in magazines. Now she’s in a bikini in Mexico....
Taking on Angelina? Really?
May 5, 2010
The June issue of Tattler proclaims “Jessica Alba takes on Angelina to become Hollywood’s hottest heroine”....
Well that was fast
April 19, 2010
Chloe with newly naked Amanda Seyfried made less than $2 million worldwide ... but cost $11 million to make. I guess it’s no surprise that it’s already out on DVD. And on the web....
The problem with Parenthood
April 10, 2010
I liked Parenthood the movie. I liked Peter Krause in Six Feet Under, Dax Shepard in Employee of the Month, and Craig T. Nelson in Poltergeist. I like Erika Christensen’s rack in anything. And I love Lauren Graham. But after six weeks of Parenthood the series, I’m ready for emancipation....
Um, really?
April 1, 2010
Scarlett Johansson’s bustline has all but disappeared over the last year or so, but if you’ve seen the new Iron Man 2 posters, her boobs are not only back, but bigger than they’ve ever been....
Chloe Sevigny’s foot-in-mouth disease
March 29, 2010
Imagine you're Chloe Sevigny. The last season of your show stunk on ice. You know it. The audience knows it. At what point is it OK to state the obvious and not be charged with biting the hand that feeds you?...
Where’s the beef?
March 26, 2010
Top-heavy model/actress Kelly Brook is known primarily for one thing — or two things, if you like. You’d think that Nestle’s Skinny Cow, for whom Kelly was the host at a celebrity Swap Shop last week, would know how to milk it better....
Heiglectomy
March 25, 2010
Call it the worst case of déja vu we’ve had this year, or the most unsurprising story, but Katherine Heigl, the notoriously outspoken Grey’s Anatomy actress who hasn’t actually appeared on the show since mid-October of last year, will now officially no longer appear on the show....
Alice in Maximland
March 13, 2010
It’s that rabbit hole all nubile actresses have to go down whenever they have a film they need to promote, and thank God juggy Alice Eve is no exception....
And the award goes to ... zzzz
March 8, 2010
Well, the 82nd annual Academy Awards have come and gone, and it was exactly the conveyor belt-like snoozer people said it would be. And a mostly boobless snoozer, to boot. Mostly....
Fred, Jen, and the American joke
March 3, 2010
They say that the comedy of one culture doesn’t export well to another, but if you ever try watching an American comedy with the foreign audio or subtitles on, it becomes pretty clear why some countries allegedly dismiss any joke that isn’t funny as an “American joke”....
Laetitia Casta topless at the 35th Cesar Film Awards
February 27, 2010
It’s been a long time since the world outside of France has seen model/actress Laetitia Casta, let alone Laetitia’s boobs. But thanks to her transparent number at the Cesar Film Awards today, it finally got to see both....
The plot thickens
February 26, 2010
Just when you thought your Brittany Murphy death pool had been settled once and for all......
Hmm
February 4, 2010
Well it’s about damn time: The L.A. coroner’s office reported today that Brittany Murphy’s death, while preventable and partly drug-induced, was an accident....
Enjoy the Love while it lasts
February 1, 2010
Now that Amanda Seyfried is moving on to bigger and better things, we’ll have to wait a lot longer for the occasional pokies, bare butt and sideboob like in last night’s Big Love....
One step forward, two boobs back
January 24, 2010
Five years ago, Jessica Paré was the First Lady on the critically acclaimed but short-lived Jack & Bobby. Very soon, she’ll be a nearly anonymous, naked tub toy in the upcoming Hot Tub Time Machine....
Meh
January 22, 2010
More and more, seeing the new Scarlett Johansson ads for Mango is like seeing a poster for a sequel to 300 in which all the famously ripped Spartans now have beer guts....
The 67th Annual Golden Globe Awards: In case you had a life that evening
January 18, 2010
Some of us may be Ricky Gervais fans, some of us fans of this or that award nominee, but most of us who tuned in for the Golden Globes at all were probably just curious to see who showed up wearing what wardrobe-malfunction-prone dress. Here’s some of what you missed if you didn’t have the endurance to sit through the whole show....
Keeley Hazell to star in short film as Venus
January 16, 2010
International topless sensation Keeley Hazell will be boning up on her Latin to play Venus Passion of the Christ-style in the upcoming film short Venus and the Sun. The film’s only 15 minutes long — but if it’s done right, that should be more than most of us need....
Big, naked love
January 13, 2010
I was as disappointed as anyone who watches Big Love to learn that busty, bug-eyed Amanda Seyfried would be leaving her base to pursue a career in film — especially if Mamma Mia! and Jennifer’s Body are any indication of what to expect. But if a film career for Amanda = nudity, as it does in the upcoming Chloe, I suppose I’ll be willing to suspend judgement for a bit....
Michelle Williams bikini photos in the meantime
December 22, 2009
While death pools around the nation morbidly wait for TMZ to leak the toxicology report on Brittany Murphy, here’s a few Michelle Williams bikini stocking stuffers from her holiday in Hawaii to tide us over through the gloom....
Time-traveling with Tara Reid and Playboy
December 18, 2009
“Once you jack off to Japanese girls puking in each other’s mouths, you can’t exactly go back to Playboy” Stan’s dad explains in a 2008 episode of South Park in which the Internet disappears. It looks like Tara Reid’s hoping that the rest of us have no Internet connection, either....
A vacation for Sofía Vergara is a vacation for all of us
December 4, 2009
Built like Sofía Vergara is, it’s surprising that there haven’t been more photos like these from her recent vacation in Miami....
Keeley Hazell is more comfortable in her own skin than most
November 18, 2009
PETA has a long and illustrious history of print ads featuring strategically naked celebrities who’d rather go naked than wear fur; one more is hardly news. Until recently, that is, when the the animal rights organization upped the ante and offered an actual naked celebrity for the cause: topless model Keeley Hazell....
Dollhouse R.I.P.
November 11, 2009
I was happy as the next guy to see Eliza Dushku back on the air, but was there anyone out there who’d seen an episode of Dollhouse and didn’t see this coming?...
Big Day Redux
November 9, 2009
Sometimes life surpasses art: Big Day got annulled after just one season, but the real-life nuptials of memorably pneumatic Marla Sokoloff, which took place this weekend, were definitely worth watching....
Settle down
November 4, 2009
So topless model Kelly Brook is taking Jerry Hall’s place in the stage adaptation of the 2008 film Calendar Girls, and the article about it that doesn’t shout some variation of “KELLY BROOK COMPLETELY NAKED IN CALENDAR GIRLS” can scant be found. But don’t book your flight to London just yet....
Scarlett Johansson’s boobs get lost in translation
October 22, 2009
In The Last Temptation of Christ, an angelic Satan assures Jesus that “there is only one woman in the world, with different faces”. More and more, that One Woman seems content to use Scarlett Johansson’s face alone, whether as “the new face of Mango” or “the first celebrity face of champagne”. But not so much Scarlett’s famous physique. The reason for this dearth of décolletage? As became clear in Tokyo a couple of days ago, Scarlett’s face is all she has left....
Erika Christensen on Lie to Me: The pix are in
September 30, 2009
So how was Erika Christensen’s juggy appearance on Lie to Me? “Real” and “spectacular” come to mind, in the Seinfeldian use of the words. But I’m glad she’s not a regular....
Eliza Dushku’s nipples aren’t where you’d expect them to be
September 23, 2009
So it’s go time for season 2 of Dollhouse, and for those of us who forgot about it since Eliza Dushku’s FHM spread, Eliza’s back in Complex to remind us with even more cleavage than before. And more nipple. Depending on where you look for them....
Leelee Sobieski’s new role as mother is still straight-to-DVD
September 16, 2009
Leelee Sobieski, the 26-year-old actress famous mostly for having been expected to be famous ten years ago — and for having a great rack that somehow slipped out at the Directors Guild of America Awards without any photos leaking out — has been knocked up by her fashion designer fiancé, Adam Kimmel....
Meaty Aphrodite
September 8, 2009
If you haven’t seen Mira Sorvino in a while, you’ll probably be as surprised as I was to behold these photos of her new physique at the Like Dandelion Dust premiere, in which her gravure idol-like bosom appears to be larger than her ribcage can support....
Crap, now I have to watch Lie to Me
September 2, 2009
In light of those suspicious “leaks” of nude Vanessa Hudgens photos shortly before two of her movies, I suppose I should have thought to look up Erika Christensen to learn why her bikini-clad bosom made such an unexpected appearance on Twitter recently....
Jennifer Tilly takes her poker-distracting rack for a dip
August 25, 2009
We’ve seen Jennifer Tilly’s copious cleavage on the brink of spilling out of her dress wherever she goes; we’ve seen it in all its naked splendor in films like Shadow of the Wolf, The Getaway, Dancing at the Blue Iguana, Fast Sofa, and Hollywood North. And now, from St. Tropez, comes the one thing we haven’t seen it in: a swimsuit....
Kelly Brook: Loaded or full of it?
August 25, 2009
Every now and then I read about this or that Apple ad being pulled from circulation in Britain on account of the “truth in advertising” laws in that country being stricter than they are here in the States. Apparently, however, such laws don’t apply to men’s magazines....
Erika Christensen wants you to stare at her tweets
August 20, 2009
Finally, a use for Twitter I can get behind....
Heather Graham in a bikini < Heather Graham in a slutty dress
August 8, 2009
I’ve said before that Heather Graham is at that age where she generally looks best in a bra. After seeing these new bikini photos and video from Barcelona, I should probably add that she also looks better in a dress....
Jessica Alba back on the beach
August 2, 2009
When your whole job is basically being hot, is it any wonder that so much of Jessica Alba’s best work continues to be not her movies, but bikini photos taken by stalkerazzi?...
Oh that’s right — Dollhouse didn’t get cancelled
July 28, 2009
Yup, it’s that time again, when increasingly more of legitimate Hollywood comes out to Comic-Cannes to win the hearts and minds of a convention center full of skeptical Comic Book Guys from The Simpsons. It’s also when the Girl in any upcoming movie or TV show will turn up half-dressed and a cup size bigger than usual in magazines like FHM and Maxim. This time around: Eliza Dushku, who’s here to remind us — through the universal language of lingerie — that Dollhouse will be back on the air soon....
Kelly Brook, back in her bikini as God intended
July 25, 2009
It’s been a whole month since Kelly Brook and her Vivacious spokesboobs have been out in public, and some of us have been left waiting like a cargo cult ever since for their return. But thanks to the beach-trolling paparazzi of southern France, that wait is finally over....
The devil in Miss Joanna
July 16, 2009
If reality TV — that genre of television where so many celebrities go to die — counts as a comeback, then Joanna Krupa is back. And she has the sort-of topless photos in Maxim to prove it....
Scarlett Johansson is the new face of Mango — but where’s the body?
July 13, 2009
Actress and de facto model Scarlett Johansson was christened the new face of Mango at a photo call today. Some photos from the upcoming campaign have already come out — but as anyone from L’Oreal to grabby-handed Isaac Mizrahi can tell you, something big is missing from them....
The Prodigal Boob Returns
July 5, 2009
There’s been a lot of grumbling here in the U.S. that the messianic era of change promised by the current administration has proven to be a bust. But yesterday seldom sober Tara Reid showed the nation that change is still possible — and, coincidentally, it involved her bust....
Renee Olstead’s buoyant bosom raises hopes for Congo
June 29, 2009
There are many things civil war has left the Congolese bereft of for too long: food, medicine, stability ... and, apparently, brow-raising boobs. Thank God for Renee Olstead, then, who was able to provide one of those items yesterday at the Raise Hope for Congo event. I’ll leave it to the Reader to divine which one....
Kelly Brook making the world a better place
June 24, 2009
Things are looking pretty bleak around the globe at the moment — Iran is in turmoil, Lil' Kim is rattling his nuclear saber again, the economy continues to swirl down the toilet bowl — what can one Brit once fired for being “too dumb” possibly do to help?...
“Untitled Bounty Hunter Project” to premiere ... now
June 23, 2009
Despite all the criticism that Hollywood’s economic woes have more to do with the dreck it keeps serving up than movie piracy or the ailing economy, there are some good movies out there — even nowadays. Is Jennifer Aniston’s “Untitled Bounty Hunter Project” one of them? Who cares? Snaps of Jennifer on the set in tight tops are out now, which is all most of us are interested in seeing from her anyway....
A nipple is a terrible thing to waste
June 19, 2009
Much attention has been paid to Heather Graham’s recent pokey appearance at the UK premiere of The Hangover, but Christina Ricci, too, has a history of rolling with her high beams on, as she did last night at the premiere of Paper Man...
Nice rack on that broomstick!
June 18, 2009
As I recall, there were three characters in the “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” segment from Fantasia: the sorcerer, the apprentice, and the broomsticks. Guess which one Monica Bellucci and her cleavage are playing in the upcoming remake....
Pieces of Jennifer’s Body
June 13, 2009
It’s sad, but true: the older a celebrity gets, the less most of us remember why we like them. And with Friends having been off the air for quite a while now, it’s good that Jennifer Aniston gets out now and then to remind us why people watched that vapid show in the first place — boobs....
Better to Remain Silent and Thought a Fool...
June 11, 2009
Ever notice how the threat of land sharks hasn’t been mentioned much since Saturday Night Live brought it to national attention in the 70s? That’s because their population has been dwindling ever since then, and is now at dangerously low levels. Luckily for the people of Oklahoma, Jessica Alba is on the case....
A Dish Best Served Chilly
June 11, 2009
Heather Graham is at that age and cup size where she generally looks best in a bra. But there’s something to be said for going commando, too — especially when it’s cold out — and that something was threatening to poke out the eyes of the paparazzi at the British premiere of The Hangover....
Porn Star Riley Steele Publicly Motorboats Kelly Brook’s Boobs
June 8, 2009
And you, too, can spontaneously and publicly nuzzle, suckle, or otherwise handle Kelly Brook’s ample breasts. Of course, certain restrictions apply:...
Kelly Brook On How To Smell Like You Have E-Cups
June 7, 2009
What separates British model/actress Kelly Brook’s “Vivacious” brand of perfume from other celebrity-endorsed perfumes? According to her official site’s recently posted infomercial, packaging. And if by that she means the famously ample curves she uses to sell her invisible product, then there may be such a thing as truth in advertising after all....
The Spirit of Laetitia Casta
June 4, 2009
To be hot in Italy is to inevitably invite comparison to Sophia Loren; to be hot in France is to be hailed as the new Brigitte Bardot. Semi-retired supermodel Laetitia Casta, whose face and boobs have already stood in for Bardot’s in the form of France’s “Marianne” busts, will now be channeling the rest of her on the big screen....
Oh My Friggin’ God, It’s Megan Fox! (And Not in a Good Way)
June 3, 2009
The vacancy left some years ago by Angelina Jolie had to be filled by somebody, I realize, but is Megan Fox really The One?...
The Hottest Mila
June 1, 2009
Ah, to be young forever. Who wouldn’t want that? At 26, maybe Mila Kunis....
Heather Graham’s Boobs Are Still a Bankable Commodity
May 30, 2009
Not every movie can be a winner, especially if your’re Heather Graham, who hasn’t been in anything of note for nearly a decade now. But sometimes the best part about movies — especially the independent ones few will ever see — are the endless boob-centered photo ops used to promote them. And in Heather’s case, the thumbs are still up. Mostly....
The Secret Life of Renee Olstead
May 29, 2009
Much has been made in the press about the growing crop of dangerously malnourished actresses in Hollywood, and the cliché is that the business itself pressures them to starve themselves like that. But I’m starting to think that this same body-image obsessed business pressured emaciated Renee Olstead to gain weight last year....
The Awful Truth about Kat and Dogs
April 4, 2009
I have seen Katherine Heigl’s future, and its name is Janeane Garofalo....
If Michelle Williams Strips and Simulates Sex in a Forest but No One’s Watching, Is She Still Naked?
March 2, 2009
Michelle Williams has gotten more naked and more sexually explicit than ever before, but unless you’re British or in the habit of trolling for celebrity nudity on the Internet, you’d probably never know about it....
Welcome to the Dollhouse. Now go home.
February 18, 2009
In case you were one of those people who had something to do on Valentine’s day besides watch TV (and apparently that was most of you), Eliza Dushku’s much ballyhooed return to the small screen in Dollhouse came and went with nary a ripple in the ratings pool....
Eliza Dushku Topless: A Festivus Miracle for the Rest of Us
December 20, 2008
The end has been nigh for Eliza Dushku ever since Buffy went off the air, but now, after five years of false starts, she’s finally seen the light and found her true calling: topless object of meat-beating veneration, as the handful of people who went to see The Alphabet Killer now know....
What a Difference a Sandwich Makes
August 8, 2008
The unemployment rate is higher now than it’s been in six years, gas is becoming like the flame in Quest for Fire, but people who remember who Renee Olstead is still have cause for hope: through the magic and mystery of eating, Renee apparently got her boobs back....
Still Wanted?
June 28, 2008
Until Angelina Jolie’s emaciated legs are no longer the same thickness as her emaciated arms, it’s time for her to stop playing the Hot Chick in movies....
Late Bloomer
March 25, 2008
Something’s happening to Hilary Duff — and she’s dressing to make sure we all know what it is....
The Eternal Sunshine of the Inebriated Mind Goes Dark
February 7, 2008
There was, of course, no way to foresee this, but apparently drugs, alcohol, and Spider-Man money do not a good mix make....
More “Scarlett Johansson Nude” Hype
February 7, 2008
When The Black Dahlia was being promoted, there was a story put out that “critics have complained they found it difficult to concentrate following [Scarlett’s] raunchy scene”. That turned out to be a load of B.S. Now a similar story is being floated in Page Six to stir up interest in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. How many times do they expect us to keep buying this?...
The Truth About Love
November 28, 2007
Groan all you want at the special effects on The Ghost Whisperer, but if you haven’t been noticing the monstrous size of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s ass of late, then the show’s most important visual effect is working just fine....
Did Renee Olstead Get Breast Reduction Surgery?
October 30, 2007
After the cancellation of Still Standing, Renee Olstead still had two things going for her. But now, before anyone could ask “Who the hell is Renee Olstead?”, both those things have disappeared....
How Is This Not Cheating?
October 3, 2007
People have been so delighted with actress Jennifer Tilly’s winning streak in tournament poker these last few years that they’ve neglected to point out one thing: that she’s cheating....
The Talented Ms. Alba
September 24, 2007
So Good Luck Chuck had a so-so opening weekend, and some people are starting to wonder why Jessica Alba gets paid so much. But the beauty of being beautiful is that, from Marilyn Monroe onward, you’re always a success whether you succeed or not....
The Clipping of Rose McGowan
September 21, 2007
As a huge, dorky fanboy of hers ever since The Doom Generation, I didn’t want to believe this, but now the days of kidding myself are officially over: The disturbingly artificial look of Rose McGowan’s face of late is not a side effect of really bad diet, but really bad surgery....
Till the Credit-Rolling Do Us Part
September 7, 2007
It was announced today that former Brokeback Mountain stars Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams are splitting up. Is anyone really surprised?...
Christa Campbell in Next Month’s Playboy
August 23, 2007
The headline across the top of the September issue of Playboy reads “THRILLER! CHRISTA CAMPBELL NAKED”. And as a B-movie aficionado, I guess I’m duly thrilled ... but is anyone else?...
Amanda Bynes Grows Up ... As Hilary Duff
June 28, 2007
Starting this August, the new Amanda Bynes will be kicking the race to become the old Hilary Duff into high gear with the launch of a new clothing line called “Dear by Amanda Bynes”....
Amanda Bynes Is Finally Eating Again
June 4, 2007
I couldn’t be sure when I saw her at the recent VH-1 Young Hollywood Awards, but as of yesterday’s MTV Movie Awards it’s become clear that Amanda Bynes has finally gone off whatever Olsen Twin diet she was on for the last three years and is back on food....
Angelina Jolie Comes to Brad’s Premiere As Treebeard
May 25, 2007
Who knew Angelina Jolie was such a Tolkien fan? First there was the Ring inscription tattooed on her arm, and now her arms themselves look like they belong to the talking tree people from The Lord of the Rings....
Seriously, When Has There Not Been Something About Jessica?
May 23, 2007
Not that I’m complaining, but ever since Jessica Alba so solemnly declared that she was done with sexy roles and photoshoots a couple years ago, her roles and photoshoots have not only continued to capitalize on her sex appeal, but have gotten even more sexually suggestive....
Whither Now the Cast of Gilmore Girls?
May 18, 2007
Now that CW has finally rid itself of Gilmore Girls (along with 7th Heaven and Veronica Mars) and filled the vacuum with more reality show dreck, what will become of Stars Hollow’s newly unemployed?...
Is Recanting the New Self-Promotion?
May 10, 2007
In the spirit of Hillary Clinton’s proposal to hit the do-over button on her vote for the Iraq war, soon-to-be-unemployed Jamie-Lynn Sigler denounced her own album Here to Heaven in this month’s issue of Vegas magazine ... six years after the fact....
The Gifts That Keep On Giving
May 6, 2007
Is there any better way to celebrate the gift of life than with eye-popping cleavage on young singer/actresses? The cumulative wisdom of 28 years of The Annual Gift of Life Tribute Celebration answers with a resounding “No”....
The Shrinking Appeal of Spider-Man 3
May 6, 2007
Well, it’s official: at $148 million in three days, Spider-Man 3 is the most popular creation since the wheel, and not even the tidal wave of illegal DVD copies of it currently flooding Asia has kept anyone away from the theater. So why am I content to wait for cable?...
The Agony and the Ecstasy of Coachella 2007
April 29, 2007
Coachella is having its regular three-day music festival right now, and I coudn’t be more frustrated....
Recovering From Grindhouse
April 11, 2007
Alright, so Grindhouse is a huge, 75 million dollar bomb, and everyone has his theory why — some say it’s too long, some say it too closely imitates the dreck of a bygone era, and some say there’s simply no substitute for the charm of actual dreck....
Daddy’s Little Girl
March 27, 2007
Most parents are obnoxious in their love of bearing witness to every milestone in their kid’s life — their first bowel movement, their first word, their first step, and so on. And in Thora Birch’s case, first sex scene....
Six Degrees Is Back ... But Why?
March 24, 2007
At a time when so many other shows are being yanked off the air, why is Six Degrees — which so few people watched that it was canceled after only six episodes — being brought back?...
Spector Trial to Get the OJ Treatment
March 19, 2007
Anyone who thought that justice had more or less been thwarted in the Phil Spector case after four years of suspicious postponements must now renew their faith in the system: not only did jury selection begin today, but, after a month-long recess, the trial might even be on television....
He Was a Quiet Man
March 16, 2007
Frank Cappello’s He Was a Quiet Man, a dark and quirky comedy about an office drudge who resolves to go out in a blaze of glory, has many good, funny parts. But sometimes the parts of something are greater than the whole....
Andy Sidaris Dies at 76
March 9, 2007
It’s been a long, long time since I’ve seen an Andy Sidaris flick, but his death on Wednesday seems to me no less than the death of a happier, more hopeful era....
Salma Hayek Knocked Up
March 9, 2007
“I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than I do,” Salma Hayek once said. And now, it seems, she’s not only found such a man, but is carrying his kid....
Leaving Las Vegas
February 28, 2007
I’m not sure which is the more surprising news: that James Caan is leaving NBC’s Las Vegas, that Nikki Cox is getting fired from Las Vegas, or that Las Vegas is in fact still on the air....
Finally, a Wardrobe Malfunction Worth Seeing
February 6, 2007
From Janet Jackson to Tara Reid, the trouble with “wardrobe malfunction” hooplah is that the boob in the spotlight is never one most of us want to see. That is, until Leelee Sobieski took the stage at the Directors Guild of America Awards to announce the winner for daytime TV....
Where Are They Now?
February 3, 2007
Remember when Denise Richards’s boobs were the best thing about her? What happened?...
A Dame To Kill For, But Not To Wait For
January 18, 2007
A year ago, Rosario Dawson announced in a radio interview that director Robert Rodriguez would wait out Angelina Jolie’s pregnancy to cast her as Ava Lord, the titular “Dame To Kill For” in Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For....
Will Phil Spector Get Death?
January 16, 2007
It’s been hard to keep up with the whirlwind trial of Phil Spector — if anyone remembers, he was accused of killing actress Lana Clarkson four years ago — but it was announced today that jury selection for the trial will now finally commence....
Vivid’s Queen of Porn To Be Played By Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive
January 15, 2007
Unlike the rest of the world (and probably the universe), I was never into Jenna Jameson, except, perhaps, as an interview personality. But Scarlett Johansson as Jenna Jameson? That I could get into. And now, it seems, it just might happen....
Page 3 Icon Keeley Hazell Makes Sex Video
January 14, 2007
The day every male Brit has been waiting for has come at last: A video showing Keeley Hazell having sex is floating around the web....
The O.C. Officially Out of Juice
January 13, 2007
Well, it’s finally happened: The once beloved teen soap that made stars out of Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton and gave a renewed lease on life to Melinda Clarke before it lost touch with what made it popular will air its last episode on February 22....
Too Little, Too Late
January 9, 2007
According to an item from Contact Music, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, who had vowed never to appear nude on camera, now says she’s open to the idea. Maybe. If it’s important and necessary for the film. And if she’s drunk enough....
Our Lady of the Check-Out Line
January 3, 2007
A few months back I wondered what had happened to Angelina Jolie, the crazy/hot Angelina we all knew and loved. I thought I had the issue nailed until I saw the brilliantly concise, definitive answer painted in living color by artist Kate Kretz. Wickedly on-target....
Nikki Cox Marries Jay Mohr
December 30, 2006
OK, so we all know that Nikki Cox likes funny guys — that being the other, less obvious thing she has in common with Jessica Rabbit (“He makes me laugh”). God knows there’s no other way to explain her long-running previous engagement to comedian Bobcat Goldthwait. Or her two-year engagement to comedian Jay Mohr. Or her marriage to him today....
Victoria Principal Sheds 200 Unwanted Pounds ... By Divorcing Them
December 29, 2006
Victoria Principal, the wild-child-turned-actress-turned-fitness-and-skin-care-guru, whose character in the long-running Dallas infamously negated an entire season when it was revealed that she had dreamt it all, has just officially negated two decades of marriage to plastic surgeon Harry Glassman....
Eww
December 27, 2006
Judging from Tara Reid’s still mangled midriff, I guess that corrective trip back to the lipo clinic in September didn’t take....
Angelina Now Ambassador for the North Pole
December 26, 2006
In her capacity as ambassador for the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees, Angelina Jolie and husband Brad Pitt made a quick and unannounced visit to San Jose, Costa Rica to hand out Christmas presents to Colombian war refugees....
Marilu Henner Marries for Third Time
December 24, 2006
I understand the need for companionship and grand, romantic gestures, but when you’re 54 years old, have been married twice, and already have kids, maybe a third marriage really isn’t what you need....
The Devil Wears Mattel
December 21, 2006
Anyone who thinks that Hilary Duff is an empty-headed Barbie Doll whose fifteen minutes have long since expired must stand corrected: Very soon there’ll be an actual empty-headed Barbie Doll made in Hilary Duff’s likeness — The Red Carpet Glam Hilary Duff Doll — to prove to the world once and for all that, technically, we’ve all been wrong about her....
The Ghost Whisperer Gets Real
December 16, 2006
Sooner or later, reality always bites you in the ass. And in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s case, it can’t miss....
New Children To Be Bussed In For Angelina
December 14, 2006
Just when U.S. colleges are starting to abandon their long-standing affirmative action programs for admissions, Angelina Jolie has declared that she wants to adopt more children on the basis of race to balance out her “mixed-race family”, predicting that her Asian and African children will be unable to relate to anyone else in the family who isn’t also Asian or African....
Angelina Speaks Out On Brad, Jennifer, And All That
December 12, 2006
In another plug for an upcoming film treated as a startling exposé, Vogue magazine finally reveals what Angelina Jolie has repeatedly told everyone else since filming Mr. & Mrs. Smith: that everything was above board with her and Brad while he was still married to Jennifer Aniston. At last the official truth comes out ... again....
Keeping Hope Alive
December 5, 2006
We’ve heard it from her before, but just in case the world forgot her willingness to stop teasing it and get naked already, Scarlett Johansson took a moment to remind us....
Pam to Divorce Kid Rock
November 27, 2006
Life lesson: The more times one gets married to the same former rock star in the same year, the less likely any of those marriages are going to stick....
The Fast and the Bi-Curious
November 15, 2006
Well, well, well. Turns out those Bloodrayne rumors were true after all: babehound Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3, The “L” Word) recently told The Advocate that she and what she jokingly referred to as “the very hot housekeeper” (i.e., Michelle Rodriguez) are indeed an item....
Disappearance Act
November 15, 2006
Like with so many other actresses nowadays, Thora Birch appears to be on a strict all-coke diet. Great news for whoever it is out there that still finds the Olsen twins hot. Terrible news for the rest of us....
Pamela Confirms Miscarriage
November 10, 2006
Us Weekly reports that Pamela Anderson suffered a miscarriage late last week, presumably with husband Kid Rock’s child. How did this happen?...
Six Degrees of Cancelation
November 9, 2006
I love watching Erika Christensen and her eye-popping physique as much as the next breast-obsessed perv, but though I’ve TiVoed every episode of Six Degrees that’s aired so far, I still haven’t found motivation enough to actually sit down and watch them. Apparently no one else has, either....
Jeri’s Conversation Pieces
October 31, 2006
Shark might be one of the worst shows on the tube right now, and given how quickly other, less crappy shows have already been pulled off the air recently, I’m surprised Jeri Ryan had opportunity comment on the role her boobs play on the set....
Reese, Ryan, and The Seven Year Itch
October 30, 2006
It’s been announced today that Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe have formally separated after seven years of marriage. Which is a pretty good run for marriages these days — especially Hollywood marriages — and if there’s any surprise, it’s that it didn’t happen sooner....
Scarlett Does Tom Waits
October 17, 2006
Don’t get me wrong — like most of the world, I love Scarlett Johansson. And like some of the world, I love Tom Waits. But like most of the world, while I accept it when someone famous as a singer decides to act (as when Tom Waits does), I usually roll my eyes whenever someone more famous as an actor decides to sing (Bruce Willis, Russell Crowe, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Bacon, and, more recently and laughably, Jared Leto)....
Tomayto, Tomahto, And Promiscuity
October 10, 2006
Chris Rock used to say in his act that, in relationships, people are “as loyal as their options”. And even though 21-year-old Scarlett Johansson is currently dating former Black Dahlia co-star Josh Hartnett, the recently crowned “Sexiest Woman Alive” is nothing if not a girl with a lot of options....
Rose’s Darfur Diet
October 10, 2006
Much has been made of Kate Bosworth’s recent death camp chic, but has anyone taken a look at Rose McGowan lately?...
Scarlett Finally Nude?
October 6, 2006
As of today, there’s a finally a picture in the “Sacred” picture gallery for Scarlett Johansson....
Apostatization
October 3, 2006
The handful of people out there who still watch Gilmore Girls already know that the show has been ailing for quite a while now. They also know that the new season, the first one without the show’s creator, will probably be the least — and last — of the series....
Esquire Crowns Scarlett “Sexiest Woman Alive”
September 30, 2006
Very sagacious of them to give the crown to the woman who has already been wearing it for a few years now....
A View Better Left Unseen
September 22, 2006
I’ve been noticing this for a long while now, but after seeing caps from The View, I can’t ignore it anymore: Jennifer Love Hewitt’s ass is no longer fit for primetime....
Shark
September 21, 2006
The House-in-a-courtroom drama starring James Woods and Jeri Ryan premieres tonight....
Factory Recall for Tara
September 19, 2006
Apparently the newer, curvier, and more inebriated Tara Reid that unwittingly unveiled her Frankenscars at P Diddy’s 35th birthday party two years ago didn’t take....
The Black Dahlia
September 15, 2006
The tedious, convoluted adaptation of James Ellroy’s novel, starring Josh Hartnett, Aaron Eckhart, Mia Kirshner, Scarlett Johansson, Hilary Swank (in a role wisely turned down by Eva Green), Rose McGowan (the film’s stand-out weak acting link), and a ton of others, opens today....
Leaving Lorelai
September 11, 2006
As I’m pretty much the only person I know who regularly watches The WB’s CW’s critically acclaimed but otherwise ignored Gilmore Girls, I had come to believe that I was alone in my frustrations with the show. That is, until Entertainment Weekly published a reader’s open Dear John letter:...
Scarlett’s Gratuitous Raunch in The Black Dahlia
August 31, 2006
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if this turns out to be BS put out by the makers of The Black Dahlia to help promote the film, but according to an item from ContactMusic.com:...
The Unbearable Heaviness of Jolie
August 23, 2006
Once upon a time, “Angelina Jolie”, like “Pamela Anderson” before it, was a word in itself in English....
Wild On Baywatch
August 22, 2006
On the one hand, in the spirit of the Angelina Jolie-Brad Pitt experiment in eugenics, I suppose it’s only fitting that the Hot Chick of Wild On! be paired and bred with the Hot Dude of Baywatch — but on the other hand, didn’t Brooke Burke just divorce her last husband (plastic surgeon Garth Fisher, with whom she has two kids) not more than a year ago?...
Rose McGowan To Be in Grindhouse
August 9, 2006
I’m not sure what Snakes on a Plane’s chances are of becoming the cult classic internet pre-fans want it to be, but from the very little I’ve heard of Grindhouse — which features Rose McGowan killing people with a prosthetic machine gun leg — the Tarantino-Rodriguez double-feature horror flick seems destined for b-movie immortality when it opens next April....
Celebrity Fit Club
August 6, 2006
It was almost ten years ago when I spotted Erika Eleniak shilling for the “Fill Up & Go” weight-loss system; now, presumably, she could be a customer....
Carla to Join Entourage?
August 3, 2006
Well, it’s been a very short ride for Carla Gugino, but after two canceled TV shows, it looks like she’s back to guest appearances....
Failing Upward
July 30, 2006
A couple days ago, I read an article in Entertainment Weekly’s “Popwatch” about actors with “failing upward syndrome” — that is, actors who, despite their lack of hit movies to sustain any sort of fan base, continue to be handed bigger and better roles until Hollywood finally gives up on trying to prop them up as The Next Big Thing. Some of the names listed provoke little argument: Gretchen Mol, Kate Hudson, Penelope Cruz, Matthew McConaughey, Colin Farrell. One, namely Winona Ryder, gave me pause before I conceded (Heathers was a long, long time ago, after all). But Scarlett Johansson? Can it be true?...
Busty Borg to Marry Iron Chef
July 17, 2006
If the iconic star of the long canceled Star Trek: Voyager, hasn’t been in anything of real note lately, then at least sometime Iron Chef America competitor Christopher Eme has — namely, Jeri Ryan. The two promoted their engagement while promoting Jeri’s new TV series Shark....
The Baywatch Syndrome
June 12, 2006
It seems that while Jennifer Love Hewitt can now speak with the dead, she has yet to learn to read between the lines of the living....
One Less Reason to Watch Las Vegas After a Year of Mohr
June 2, 2006
Once upon a time I got on my soapbox and cried for more Nikki Cox on Las Vegas; now, I think we can all agree that less Nikki would be best....
So Dull the Con of Man
May 19, 2006
When I heard that Ron Howard was going to direct The Da Vinci Code, I didn’t give it a second thought — he is, as everyone knows, an award-winning director. But having now seen the film, I have to wonder how it happened that Howard was picked for the job; his résumé, after all, doesn’t have much in the way of thrillers, and boy was that fact evident today....
Lost For Good
May 5, 2006
Well, it’s official: troubled actress Michelle Rodriguez is off the hit show Lost....
Thank You for Smoking
April 22, 2006
Today I finally got around to seeing Thank You for Smoking, a satirical comedy about the machinations of a man who spins for the tobacco industry while trying to stay a role-model for his twelve-year-old kid. Insofar as this was reportedly a witty comedy, I couldn’t help thinking about Ridicule, another reportedly witty film, for in both movies the protagonists seem remarkably clever only because everyone else in the movie is thick. Thank You for Smoking is funny enough, I suppose, but a film like this really should be wittier....
God Bless the Paparazzi of Jamaica
April 17, 2006
Not much I can say here with my jaw on the floor but “!”:...
Waiting for Jolie
March 14, 2006
According to a report on the radio, Rosario Dawson says that director Robert Rodriguez wants Angelina Jolie for the lead in Sin City 2, and is willing to postpone production of the film until after she’s had Brad Pitt’s baby....
Brown Bunny On Camera, Killer Rabbit Off
March 12, 2006
Polygamy hasn’t trumped pornography since the Mormon church pretended to cave in to the U.S. government back in the day to avoid losing its assets — which is too bad for Chloe Sevigny....
The Season of the Witch Comes to an End
March 3, 2006
After eight seasons on the air, Charmed will be among the sacrificial lambs of the WB-UPN union this fall. Disappointing news for Alyssa Milano, perhaps, but devastating news for Holly Marie Combs and probably Rose McGowan as well. The last episode of Charmed will air May 21....
Brokeback Backlash
March 2, 2006
As might be expected, everyone with an axe to grind is starting to come out of the woodwork for their moment in the spotlight now shining on Brokeback Mountain — including Michelle Williams’ old high school....
When the Girl Next Door Has a Lawyer
March 1, 2006
When I heard that Jessica Alba was going to be in the next issue of Playboy, I was skeptical — an Australian article I read last December reported that she won’t even do Maxim anymore, let alone Playboy, as she has become disenchanted with her status as a sex icon. And despite her appearance on the cover, it looks like the skeptics were right....
Sascha Knopf Enters the Blogosphere
February 20, 2006
“I’m a geek, always have been,” Sascha Knopf once declared in an email to me in 2001....
The Jessica Alba Reality Show
January 28, 2006
Let’s be honest: As beautiful as Jessica Alba on film might be, she doesn’t really have the curves to capture the public’s libidinous attentions the way, say, Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johansson have. But as paparazzi have been demonstrating over the last year, she can be a lot hotter than one might have thought possible when she thinks no one’s watching:...
Emily’s 6.2 Million Reasons Why Not
January 17, 2006
ABC has decided to stop production of Heather Graham’s Emily’s Reasons Why Not after airing only one episode....
At the Movies with Sascha Knopf
January 13, 2006
Believe it or not, there are a few actresses on this site from whom we instinctively know not to expect great things....
Pregnant Kari Wuhrer Aborted from General Hospital
January 13, 2006
Kari Wuhrer filed a suit against ABC TV on Thursday, charging that she was fired from the show for becoming pregnant....
Angelina Pregnant
January 11, 2006
According to a story from Reuters, the world’s most beautiful woman is now carrying a child by the world’s most beautiful man....
Michelle Williams in Brokeback Mountain
December 18, 2005
Well, anyone with a TV, radio, or internet connection has by now been inundated with glowing reviews of Brokeback Mountain. But apart from Ang Lee’s latest offering being an excellent film, it also handily demonstrates two things that haven’t been getting much play in the press:...
Once More, With Feeling
December 7, 2005
I hadn’t heard much about the Valerie Bertinelli-Eddie Van Halen thing since she left him in 2002 (they were separated in October of 2001), but apparently the move didn’t really take until yesterday, when Valerie’s publicist confirmed that the estranged couple are now officially divorced on account of the usual “irreconcilable differences”....
Fantastic Two, Revisited
December 7, 2005
Now that the DVD is out, Jessica Alba pervs everywhere want to know: Is that scene where Jessica steps out of the shower in the background and quickly becomes invisible really her naked?...
Carla Off the Air ... Again
December 6, 2005
When Karen Sisco was pulled off the air not too long ago, critics mourned its passing and chastised the public for its mediocre tastes; now Threshold is being canceled and not even the critics care....
Another Day, Another DUI
December 2, 2005
Lost newcomers Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros posted bail yesterday morning after being arrested for driving under the influence....
The Ghost Whisperer
December 1, 2005
Well, well, well. After various boobless false starts, it looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt has rediscovered why she was popular and is back on the tube for real this time with the patently ridiculous but consistently cleavagey The Ghost Whisperer....
How Phil Spector Will Beat the Rap
October 22, 2005
The Twinkie defense? Are you serious?...
About That Boob Thing...
October 6, 2005
One year after her most famous public performance to date, a reflective Tara Reid looks back on the one that got away......
Buh-Bye
September 28, 2005
I think most of the world has reached this conclusion already, but now that Hilary Duff is 18 and can legally get naked on film, she’s also gotten offputtingly emaciated — and, to be honest, as scary-ugly as her sister. The pair of them will now officially be rooming with the Olsen twins in the Phantom Zone of Irrelevance....
Meet Miss Mrs. Ms. Sigler DiScala Sigler
September 15, 2005
Hard to believe that anyone would make the cliché mistake of marrying one’s agent in this day and age, but after two years of this ill-starred union, Jamie-Lynn and husband/agent A.J. DiScala have finally called the quits....
Holy Crap!
August 9, 2005
Pregnant women love to insist that the pregnant form is beautiful, and the men who are married to them have to pretend to agree. In Michelle Williams’ case, though, it’s actually true....
Scarlett Distracted in Traffic By Her Own Breasts
July 30, 2005
Cleavage is an amazing thing. I was once in an Albertsons that practically shut down when a stripper strode in to get her groceries, for though her face was weathered and, quite frankly, a little rough on the eyes, her fake boobs were bouncing about so violently as she walked that they threatened to spill out of her skimpy spandex top with every stride, and men and women alike stopped dead in their tracks to furtively take in the show while pretending to look at something else. Apparently even the owners of such show-stopping boobs are not immune to their power....
Brooke and Husband/Plastic Surgeon Garth Fisher Part Ways
July 27, 2005
The sun has finally set on the days of free implants for former Wild On hostess Brooke Burke, according to a statement released by the couple today in People magazine, which attributes the break up to their careers having gone in different directions over the past few years....
The Island
July 22, 2005
The Island is basically Logan’s Run meets Coma: A sterile, sexless society of unwitting body part donors lives in blissful ignorance while waiting to win transportation out of their brave, dull world to the paradisiacal “Island”, the leadership’s cover for their sinister organ-snatching program. That is, until one clone (Ewan McGregor) discovers the Awful Truth and makes a two-hour, action-packed run for it, taking his supermodel platonic friend (Scarlett Johansson) with him....
Fantastic Four
July 8, 2005
The hype for this movie has been so intense and pervasive that even I was beginning to accept that Fantastic Four was already an established pop-cultural landmark before the film was even released, despite the glaringly iffy look and vibe of the trailer. Predictably enough, the general consensus among critics and user comments on the web is that this film is pretty damn awful, especially if you’ve read the comics. So when I finally got around to seeing the movie myself, I was expecting just that....
And the Winner Is...
June 28, 2005
Not that she needs the cash (she has half of ex-husband and The Simpsons writer/producer Sam Simon’s money, after all) but Jennifer Tilly beat out 600 professional players in a two-day competition and won the Ladies no-limit Texas Hold ’Em event at the World Series of Poker — the first time a celebrity ever won an event at the tournament....
New Batman Drops Katie Holmes
June 21, 2005
Sometimes, there really is such a thing as “bad publicity”. There’s also such a thing as “bad chemistry” and “bad acting”....
Second Thoughts On Keeping Her Top On
June 13, 2005
Now that Scarlett Johansson is 20, it seems she’s ready to show the world what it’s been aching to see since Lost in Translation, she revealed in a Playboy interview. “It would just have to be the right film.”...
Free Katie!
June 9, 2005
In light of Tom Cruise’s goofy/creepy performance on the Oprah Winfrey show and Katie Holmes’ acceptance of Scientology, a website has been set up to rescue Katie from the clutches of Tom Cruise, L. Ron Hubbard, and herself....
Fantastic Two
June 4, 2005
Jessica Alba may be determined never to work nude in movies, but plugging for movies is apparently another matter: The former Dark Angel finally shed some light on two of her hitherto unseen assets yesterday at the MTV Movie Awards in an Emperor’s-New-Clothes type dress reminiscent of Rose McGowan’s fishnet ensemble at the same event seven years earlier. You can see what all the fuss is about here in the Sacred Pics gallery....
Sin City
April 21, 2005
It’s Don Quixote meets Pulp Fiction: Three (or so) interweaving and ultra-violent tales of a directionless, burnt-out thug on parole, a directionless, burnt-out cop on the verge of retirement, and a directionless, burnt-out death row escapee who independently seek redemption and meaning by avenging or protecting the fallen women who for a fleeting moment made their lives worthwhile. Stylishly adapted with gory exuberance by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino from the stylishly bloody graphic novels of Frank Miller....
Tru Recalled ... Again
April 20, 2005
They say the shamed die a thousand deaths, and they weren’t kidding: Fox has cancelled Eliza Dushku’s Tru Calling again....
The Road to Sin City Is Paved with Golden Locks
April 18, 2005
Well, while most TV stars never fully escape the “small time” stigma of the small screen — which is to say their careers already peaked with whatever TV show made them famous — Jessica Alba appears to be a much bigger deal now than she ever was before....
Stacked
April 13, 2005
It’s been a long time since Pamela Anderson’s been on the tube in something other than a cameo, game show, or cartoon voice — quite frankly, I didn’t think there was much else in the cards for her — so it was fun in a nostalgic sort of way to see that she’d beaten the odds (and the hep C, to boot, she says) and gotten herself back on the air....
American Divorce
March 7, 2005
First trollish Bobcat Goldthwait and Las Vegas star Nikki Cox, then whore-hound Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, then American Pie star Chris Klein and reportedly near-frigid Katie Holmes, and now trollish Joseph Reitman and American Pie star Shannon Elizabeth are calling it quits....
Denise Files for Divorce from Charlie Sheen
March 2, 2005
My God, if Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen can’t make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?...
Cursed
February 25, 2005
A fitting title for a werewolf flick whose pedigree so clearly includes Scream, An American Werewolf in London and a little Ginger Snaps, but whose writing lacks the cleverness of any of them. The warg-sized turd starring Christina Ricci and Shannon Elizabeth opens today, but you’d be well advised to wait for it to come to cable....
Katie Gets the Bat Signal
February 20, 2005
I haven’t seen or heard anything about the new Batman yet — which is seldom a good sign — but if it doesn’t suck, perhaps it’ll be the Caped Crusader that finally rescues Katie Holmes from the Phantom Zone where ex-television stars languish for eternity....
Kari’s Career Gets Hospitalized
February 15, 2005
Usually actors claw their way out of soap opera hell and on to film once their career momentum allows for it, but with smaller boobs come fewer choices for an actress whose career was built largely on those very boobs, which is how Kari Wuhrer’s career has come to an inglorious convalescence as a regular on the ancient set of General Hospital....
The World Makes Sense Again ... Sort of
February 2, 2005
Well, it’s taken a long time, but it finally happened: Nikki Cox broke off her engagement to trollish comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, only to start dating notorious babe-hound Jay Mohr. Egad....
Audrey Tautou to Star in The Da Vinci Code
January 22, 2005
The film adaptation of Dan Brown’s critically panned but internationally beloved conspiracy thriller novel — starring Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Alfred Molina, and Paul Bettany — opens today....
Tru Recalled
January 18, 2005
Although six new episodes of Eliza Dushku’s stuggling series were shot for its second season, TV Guide reported today that the show about solving crimes on behalf of the future dead is now officially dead itself, to be replaced by the supernatural soap Point Pleasant....
Back to TV
January 17, 2005
Look, I love Leelee Sobieski. And I love Greek mythology. And I’m happy to see Leelee back on the tube. But I’ll believe in a Kevin Sorbo comeback before I believe that the upcoming Hercules miniseries on NBC will offer anything more worthwhile than some cleavagey Leelee-in-a-tunic shots....
The Eternal Sunshine of the Topless Bod
January 1, 2005
Kiki fans who’ve been patiently waiting for their butterfaced muse to show them the goods finally got their wish today when stalkerazzi caught Kirsten Dunst’s boobs slipping out of their bikini top as she emerged from the Caribbean at St. Barts....
The Lone Driftwood in a Sea of Banality
December 30, 2004
While decrying the faux wit of TV show humanities professors today (Prof. Grace McCallister of Jack & Bobby in particular), The New York Times granted a possible exception to the late professor Asher Fleming of Gilmore Girls, “but only because he was sleeping with Paris Geller (played by Liza Weil), the greatest comic character currently on television.”...
Ranking Life Is Great
December 5, 2004
Hoping to succeed where Rank failed, Brooke Burke returns to E! tonight as the host of Life Is Great With Brooke Burke....
Still Milking It
November 30, 2004
A new show? Are you kidding? With Pamela Anderson as the star, not a cameo or a voice? Can clawing one’s way out of the career grave be so easy? And what about the Hepatitis C? Isn’t there an actual grave to be crawled out of soon? From TV Guide:...
Alexander
November 24, 2004
Oliver Stone’s surprisingly so-so costume drama with Collin Farrell (looking a bit like a surfer dude), Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Jared Leto, Rosario Dawson, and Anthony Hopkins opens today. While it’s not properly terrible, it’s definitely a disappointment — and in some ways a bit of a mess: One gets the sense that it was conceived in chronological order and then scrambled in the editing room to give it a JFK/Nixon vibe....
Seed of Chucky
November 20, 2004
For whatever reasons, many actresses start to hit the wall once they reach their forties — if not before. Jennifer Tilly, on the other hand, looks great at 43 in Seed of Chucky; she may yet keep the world hypnotized by that cleavage of hers for another decade....
Look at Me, Dammit!
November 6, 2004
Washed-up actress and Paris Hilton sidekick Tara Reid flashed the world yesterday at a P. Diddy bash ... and the world cringed....
The Gathering Dust On My TV Remote
November 3, 2004
I know I’ve complained about this before, but it seems especially true this season than it has in previous seasons: Gilmore Girls, while it’s always been obnoxiously cutesy, has been offering precious little else this time around....
Unemployment as the Greatest Career Aphrodisiac
October 10, 2004
Well, two years of Brooke Burke being out of the spotlight has finally paid off for the rest of us: she’ll be appearing nude in the next issue of Playboy. I guess those calendars of hers don’t sell themselves....
Mary-Kate, Ashley, and Now Amanda
October 7, 2004
It’s not really surprising, I guess: As of today’s TRL, what we all liked about What I Like About You star Amanda Bynes has been starved out of her and flushed down the toilet along with most everything she’s eaten in the last few months, leaving only the unsettling Olsen twin-like shell of her former self behind....
Stacey Dash Redux
September 14, 2004
Well, it seems I’m not the only one who thought Stacey Dash could do with a boob job and a time machine — sometime in the last year, Stacey herself went and quietly got herself one of those items....
Carla to Be in Film Adaptation of Sin City
September 10, 2004
I’m not at all familiar with Frank Miller’s Sin City comic (or graphic novel, or whatever) and so have no idea what to expect from the upcoming movie, but whether or not it’s anywhere as good as, say, Miller’s Elektra Assassin (with which I am familiar) hardly matters as far as Carla Gugino fans are concerned, as it’ll be the first film she takes her top off in since 1998. About time, too, now that the Spy Kids thing has pretty much dried up....
Fashionable Incarceration
August 30, 2004
No matter how noble a cause might be, nothing calls attention away from it like the presence of celebrities lending their dubious support....
Tanned, Augmented, and Ready for Prime Time
August 4, 2004
People used to complain that “they’ll give a talk show to anyone nowadays”, but now television is about to endure an even bigger offense....
Last Chance for Proof
July 10, 2004
Liza Weil’s last performance in her hometown’s community theater production of Proof (which stars Liza and her father, Marc Weil) comes today....
Your Ad Here: The Further Marring of Angelina Jolie
July 9, 2004
Like the Joker gleefully defacing priceless works of art in the first Batman, so Angelina Jolie has added her most grotesque exhibit to date — and most difficult to CGI out come her next nude scene — to her living museum of permanent doodles....
Pictures Worth a Thousand Cup Sizes
July 7, 2004
It doesn’t take a plastic surgeon to see that the only thing “100 per cent not true” here is what Tara Reid’s been showing off as a miraculous growth spurt to cameras lately....
Denise to Appear Nude in Playboy ... Maybe
July 3, 2004
This is a little hard to believe, given that Denise Richards just gave birth a few months ago, so take this item from NewKerala.com for what it’s worth:...
The Erotic Misadventures of Jeri Ryan
June 21, 2004
According to an Associated Press article today, Jeri Ryan has filed for divorce from Republican Senate candidate Jack Ryan, charging that he pressured her to accompany him to sex clubs and have intercourse with him while other people watched....
Winona’s Sentence Gets Five-Fingered Discount
June 21, 2004
An American judge is a lot like a shopkeeper in a bazaar in that any sentence he hands down is rarely taken seriously but is really only the first offer, to be negotiated down later....
The Great Pretender
June 17, 2004
To see Lauren Graham in interviews is to wonder just how much “acting” she really does on that show, as the giggling, effervescent actress seems indistinguishable from her giggling, effervescent character. To see her playing poker on Bravo’s Celebrity Poker Showdown, however, is to finally catch a tiny glimpse of the real Lauren, the ice-blooded, wheels-and-gears mastermind she keeps hidden behind her disarming “belly buttons are cool” façade. If you missed the show, you can see the clips here....
Jennifer Back On TV ... Sort Of
June 2, 2004
It’s been a long, Love-less dark, but Jennifer Love Hewitt might be back on the small screen....
Busted!
May 22, 2004
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but no one’s fooling anyone at any time with those jello molds....
What the...?
May 17, 2004
While I don’t know for certain yet, I’d say that from the look of the last photo I added to the picture gallery (#473), either there have been some remarkable advances in wonderbra technology or Tara Reid has had a little work done. Maybe a lot of work done....
Does It Really Matter Now?
May 13, 2004
Even at the peak of her fame, most Americans had no idea that Pamela Anderson was not in fact American. Now, a decade later, they’re only half wrong....
Now That It’s Finally All Over...
May 13, 2004
Mega-hit show though we all know Friends to have been, one wonders now how it ever got on the air....
No Money for The Girl Next Door, Either
April 12, 2004
Granted, no one expected that The Girl Next Door would be pulling in The Passion of the Christ money, but with a measly six million dollar weekend gross, I think it’s safe to say that word got out that there’s no nudity in this picture about a porn star, that The Girl Next Door is an un-risqué ripoff of Risky Business....
No Nudity for The Girl Next Door
April 7, 2004
When an AP entertainment writer observed that the closest thing to nudity in The Girl Next Door — a film in which Elisha Cuthbert plays a porn star — was a scene in which her neighbor sees her bare back as she peels off her top, Elisha replied, “That’s as far as I’ve pushed it as far as nudity goes — and probably, that’s about as far as it will go for me.” In this new era of “wardrobe malfunction” hysteria and government-led jihads against obscenity, I suspect we’ll be seeing a lot more potentially topless actresses insisting on keeping their clothes on....
Tween No More
April 3, 2004
Well, it’s official: Amanda Bynes is 18 now, and we no longer have to feel quite so creepy that we even know who she is....
Scarlett Says No to Nudity
March 21, 2004
Even without her famous panties performance last year in Lost in Translation, it’s hardly surprising that Scarlett Johansson would be asked by one and all about the possibility of screen nudity now that she’s of age. But for the time being, at least, the prospects aren’t good — but not hopeless....
Taking Lives
March 19, 2004
Angelina Jolie’s new thriller opens today. While neither especially good nor especially bad, Angelina looks great in it (if a little underfed), and serves up a brief (and completely gratuitous) nude scene to boot....
Sapphist Realism
March 1, 2004
Since it debuted on Showtime, there’s been a lot of noise about The “L” Word — one hears mention of it in everything from Leno to Gilmore Girls. But every reference I’ve heard thus far is a reference only to the show’s premise — not to any specific incident, character, or memorable line — which suggests that while everyone’s heard of the show, not many are actually watching it....
Monica in The Passion of the Christ
February 25, 2004
Start brushing up on your Aramaic — Mel Gibson may have removed the much ballyhooed controversial line from his new Jesus flick (The Passion of the Christ, which hits theaters today) after it tested poorly with focus groups, but Monica Bellucci as Mary Magdalene is still in it....
Karen Sisco Retires Early
January 30, 2004
It’s not like anyone who isn’t a critic couldn’t see this coming....
The Brown Bunny Gets Flushed
December 31, 2003
Which is more unforgivable in Hollywood — having oral sex on film, or having oral sex on a film that doesn’t make any money?...
Sometimes It Sucks to Be Right
December 19, 2003
When I learned last year that Pamela Anderson would be doing voice work for Stripperella, I asked “can center square be far behind?” The answer, apparently, is “No”....
Honey
December 7, 2003
Plugging her movie on every talkshow and quasi-talkshow seems to have paid off, as Jessica Alba’s latest effort to crawl out of her post-Dark Angel slump seems to be doing well its opening weekend....
White Christmas Lies
November 26, 2003
It seems that Lauren Graham was a wee misleading in her interview with Kilborn — she’s in a love scene alright, but there’s no nudity. Anyone planning to see Bad Santa for no other reason but to see the naughty side of Lorelai will be sorely disappointed. Funny movie, though....
Tru Recalling
October 31, 2003
I’m as happy as any guy to see Eliza Dushku back on the air, but let the countdown for the number of weeks Tru Calling has left before it’s tagged and shoved into a meatlocker begin now....
Tru Calling
October 30, 2003
It ain’t Buffy, and the production of Tru Calling has been beset with all sorts of rewriting, recasting, and reshooting problems, but at least Eliza Dushku is finally back on the tube tonight....
Monica in The Matrix Revolutions
October 28, 2003
Well, The Matrix Revolutions has come at last, and though Monica Bellucci’s been prominently featured in the posters, she’s barely in the film....
Bait and Switch
October 27, 2003
For a show that’s been trying to sex things up more and more (usually the sign of a show that’s in danger of not getting renewed), it’s made precious little use of Nikki Cox, it’s bustiest cast member, who not only never appears in anything particularly alluring, but seldom appears at all. One is reminded of the ill-fated The $treet, which billed itself as Wallstreet with lots of sex and Jennifer Connelly, but in fact delivered little of either....
Paris Restored
October 7, 2003
Looks like I may have spoken too soon — In tonight’s episode, the old Paris was back, and the writing in general was a lot better than it was in those first two episodes. Thank God....
The Looting of Paris
October 7, 2003
After an iffy, sans Paris season premiere a couple weeks ago that was disappointingly more contrived than clever in its cutseyness, Gilmore Girls, now in its fourth (!) season, was uncharacteristically weak in its second episode as well....
The Station Agent
October 3, 2003
Not the post-Dawson hooterfest I was half-hoping for — and Michelle Williams is hardly in it, to boot — but a good, fun film nonetheless, one that I’d be tempted to see again if I didn’t have to drive so damn far away to see it....
Of Boobs And Bynes
September 14, 2003
For someone who apparently doesn’t want her career to rest primarily on her sex appeal (“I respect actresses who are not like, ‘I’m an adult now — here are my boobs’”), it’s a rare photo of Amanda Bynes where she’s dressed in something that doesn’t say “here are my boobs”, to say nothing of the pants and skirts she wears that barely clear her pubic region....
Another Chance
September 5, 2003
By rights, starring in two quickly canceled shows is enough to be permanently put out to pasture. Unless, of course, you’re built like Nikki Cox, in which case the roles keep coming. It’s just that most of them are for “whore”. Can’t imagine why....
Gilmore Girls in Fall 2003
September 5, 2003
After three seasons, Paris and Rory finally shed their school uniforms....
Carla to Play J. Lo in TV Version of Out of Sight
September 5, 2003
I never saw the J. Lo version of Out of Sight — after sitting through The Cell, I’ll be happy not to see the J. Lo version of anything — but I’m certainly looking forward to seeing Carla Gugino take a shot at it in the upcoming Karen Sisco....
Back in Business Everywhere but Here
September 1, 2003
After being out of the picture awhile, Laetitia Casta seems to be making a quiet comeback — at least in Europe....
The O.C.
September 1, 2003
Though an Orange County native myself, I must confess that I don’t really recognize much from The O.C. as being particularly or authentically “O.C.” — nor have I (nor anyone I’ve known) ever referred to the over-sized strip mall that is Orange County as “The O.C.” Near as I can figure, the term — as far as Melinda Clarke is concerned, anyway — must come from the Latin occasio caelestis, or “lucky break from heaven”....
Desperado 2
August 23, 2003
There are the films you make because you passionately believe in them (as Salma Hayek did in Frida, though the movie proved to be mediocre), there are the films you do because you couldn’t get anything else, and then there are the films you do because the director feels you owe him....
Premature Praise
August 14, 2003
After sitting through one miscarried joke after another during Brittany Murphy’s spastic appearance on Leno tonight, I’d like to withdraw my earlier suggestion and propose that Brittany hire someone to script everything that comes out of her mouth....
Hell Hath No Fury
August 7, 2003
Appearing on David Letterman to promote Uptown Girls, Brittany Murphy, who had until recently been dating her Just Married co-star Ashton Kutcher, offered some insight into Aston’s current relationship with Demi Moore: “I think what it says on his part is that age isn’t important, and on her part, that size isn’t important.” Assuming that line wasn’t fed to her by Letterman’s writers, she might have a viable career in punching up scripts if ever she gets bored of acting....
Flop? No Sweat!
August 6, 2003
We all know Angelina Jolie can act. But can she pick a script?...
Geek Conventions Not Just for Has-Beens Anymore
July 19, 2003
For those willing to pay for attendance, Angelina Jolie is scheduled to sign autographs from 10 AM to 11 AM at the Comic-Con in San Diego and later preview and otherwise plug her upcoming Tomb Raider 2 from 11:30 AM to 12:30 PM....
Angelina Jolie & Nic Cage — Done in 60 Seconds
June 26, 2003
As far as I know, Angelina Jolie met Nicolas Cage on the set of Gone in 60 Seconds, which is about how long this rumored relationship is likely to last. As Entertainment Weekly put it: “The rumor is that these two are an item. Because they enjoy the same things — short, intense relationships with acrimonious, headline-grabbing breakups.”...
The Importance of Being Blonde
June 5, 2003
Damn, what a difference a dye-job can make! Since she’s gone blonde and lost some weight (to the point that she looks like she needs to ease up on the coke), Brittany Murphy has gone from relative obscurity to starring in almost every movie these days (and dating all her co-stars), and has partied up such an E! True Hollywood Stories-type storm that she felt compelled to explain in a Cosmo interview that she’s not nearly as out of control as everyone says she is. (Indeed, when Eminem dumps you for being too out of control, you know you’ve got a serious problem.)...
25th Hour
June 1, 2003
Not many people went to see it, and I’m not much of a Spike Lee fan myself, but the film is definitely worth renting or catching on cable....
The Brown Bunny
May 10, 2003
By now you may have heard the buzz about The Brown Bunny — it’s terrible, they say, but Chloë Sevigny is not only naked in it, but goes where Maruschka Detmers (in The Devil in the Flesh), Tatsuya Fuji (in In the Realm of the Senses), and few others in more-or-less mainstream movies have dared go before: she performs explicit oral sex on someone (in this case, Vincent Gallo)....
Monica in The Matrix Reloaded
May 7, 2003
Despite my earlier, more hopeful forecast, The Matrix Reloaded may not do that much for Monica Bellucci after all — the movie, while bristling with all the nifty special effects one could want from a Matrix sequel, was otherwise pretty empty and unlikely to have the pop cultural impact the first Matrix had. Moreover, Monica’s character was not especially memorable ... or necessary....
Best Episode Ever ... But Who’s Watching?
March 11, 2003
Well, despite all predictions (including my own), Gilmore Girls remains on the air after three seasons (I think) — and I couldn’t be happier. Especially after last week’s episode, which saw not only what was probably Liza Weil’s best performance ever, but the best performance of the entire series as well....
The Sleeping Dictionary Awakes ... Sort Of
February 18, 2003
We’ve all waited a long time to see Jessica Alba on the big screen again — if only for the possibility that she’ll appear in the buff to help sever any lingering ties to Dark Angel — but it looks like we’ll have to wait even longer....
Dawson’s Creek Drained at Last
February 3, 2003
The once unstoppable ratings cow will be taken to the slaughterhouse in May, TV Guide announced today, and Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes will have to figure out how to make themselves more appealing to the public on their own now that the show has officially given up trying....
The Queen Is Dead
February 3, 2003
Anyone nostalgically longing to see a return of the Barbarian Queen tragically got his wish today — it was reported around 5 AM that Lana Clarkson was murdered in the castle-like Alhambra home of legendary rock producer Phil Spector....
Return of the Golden Globes
January 19, 2003
After all the flak she got for last year’s emaciated appearance at the Academy Awards, Jennifer Connelly seemed to have been putting the weight back in all the right places at this year’s Golden Globes (where she presented for Best Musical/Comedy), passing her Worst Dressed/Most Undernourished award to Lara Flynn Boyle....
Wrong and Loving It
December 28, 2002
Well, I never thought I’d see the day, but not only is Gilmore Girls still on the air (and thank God, too, because as smarmy as the show often is, I’ve gotten hooked on the damned thing), but Lauren Graham reported on Kilborn last night that she has a nude scene in Bad Santa (directed by Ghost World’s Terry Zwigoff) with, of all people, Billy Bob Thornton. Christmas, it seems, is certainly a time of miracles....
Sizing Up Elisha
December 16, 2002
The information I got when I first set up this page is that Elisha Cuthbert stands 5'6" tall, but according to someone who says he saw her at the Last Call with Carson Daly taping, she isn’t more than 5'2". That’s the trouble with the net: real facts are so hard to come by. [It doesn’t help that Elisha herself is skittish about revealing her true height, as she showed herself to be on Craig Kilborn on the 26th.]...
The Making of Brooke Burke
December 6, 2002
Since people often ask, I may as well post it here once and for all: Yes, Brooke Burke’s boobs are works of art, not miracles of nature. And now we have proof....
Angelina to Play Linda “Deepthroat” Lovelace in Biopic
December 4, 2002
This came from Ain’t It Cool News, so don’t start hyperventilating just yet:...
Saks Appeal
November 7, 2002
Say what you will about how Winona Ryder’s Saks adventure turned out, but one good thing that seems to have come as a result of the trial and all the sudden public scrutiny that came with it is that Winona, as might be expected of any cornered actress, seems to have abandoned her asexual pixie look (at least for the time being) in favor of longer hair and generous cleavage, at long last embracing, however half-heartedly, her stifled Hot Chick persona....
Still Spastic After All These Years
October 22, 2002
It’s been a while now since I’ve even thought of Kerri Kendall or her truculent, scamming webmaster — it’s hard to stay a fan of someone whose representative is so nakedly and unpleasantly avaricious — so I’ve been pretty much out of the know as far as Kerri’s goings on are concerned. But the still-curious will be delighted to know that the Kerri and Mike business has been going just as one would expect it to:...
Career Eclipse
October 1, 2002
By now most Thora Birch fans have seen the new commercial for Eclipse gum — and some are wondering if her career bubble has already burst....
More Paris, Less Liza?
September 24, 2002
Is it just me, or has every actress with a C cup or above since Jennifer Connelly’s gaunt appearance at the Academy Awards gone on some sort of breast-reducing starvation diet?...
Ratings Rogaine
September 15, 2002
So much for the prediction that Friends was done on account of Jennifer Aniston’s new do: Between the new “pregnant Rachel” storyline and Millionaire’s lost appeal (lost, many feel, from running the show every day till people were sick of it), wringing another season out of Friends is no longer just a theoretical threat....
American Idole
September 4, 2002
Deep down, I think even critics of this page knew it was just a matter of time before Leelee Sobieski’s top at long last came off on the big screen — she’s been trying to break into the limelight for too long and with too little success not to....
Finally Frida
September 1, 2002
On the Dave Letterman show, Salma Hayek once related a story about how she prayed at a miracle shrine for a photo-friendly rack when she was a kid, and how she was eventually granted her humble request. Still, for all Salma’s troubling the Almighty, movie audiences have only gotten to see tantalizing glimpses of God’s handiwork, and very rarely at that....
The Whiter-Than-White Road to the Bottom
August 15, 2002
Stacey Dash has taken up shilling for Crest in TV ads....
Touched by a Lawyer
July 9, 2002
After first losing David Lee Roth, then Sammy Hagar, then Gary Cherone, then Warner Brothers, then the spotlight altogether, legendary guitarist Eddie Van Halen has now lost Valerie Bertinelli as well, his wife of the last 21 years. The only surprise here, really, is that it took 21 years for that to happen....
Moment of Clarity
July 7, 2002
Now that the smoke’s cleared from all the bombs Leelee Sobieski dropped on Hollywood last year, we all have time to reflect on just what it was that the critics all saw in Leelee that the rest of the U.S. did not, and why the buzz that surrounded her when Joan of Arc aired has pretty much disappeared....
“Nude Raider” Comes to the Big Screen
July 1, 2002
Angelina Jolie has reportedly OKed getting naked in Tomb Raider 2, although the makers of the video game, concerned about Lara Croft’s image, might still put a block on it....
No Boobs, No Surprise
July 1, 2002
So much for that tip from EOnline — the August edition of Playboy is out but Thelma and Louise are not. Scammed again....
Silicone Urban Legends
June 30, 2002
We’ve all heard the one about the guy who wakes up in a hotel after a one-night stand, packed in ice and missing a kidney. Kari Wuhrer adds her own twist to the story in her latest photoshoot from Razor magazine: This time it’s the girl who wakes up missing something, in this case both her breast implants....
If Angelina and Billy Bob Can’t Make It Work, What Hope Do the Rest of Us Have?
June 28, 2002
Like most every other couple that can’t take their hands off each other in public (remember Tom and Roseanne?), Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton appear to be regretting having tattooed each other’s names on themselves so quickly now that they’ve had two years to think about it. Good thing they brought another kid into it....
Shannon Elizabeth Weds
June 15, 2002
Shannon Elizabeth, best known for her topless turn in the smash hit American Pie, just got married to actor Joe Reitman, best known for all the small roles Shannon got for him in her recent movies (Tomcats, American Pie 2, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)....
Dating Is Not Enough
June 15, 2002
Denise Richards, 29, married Charlie Sheen, 36....
R.I.P. V.I.P.
June 14, 2002
Lest anyone still have doubts that Pamela Anderson has slid from celebritydom to personalitydom, TVGuide.com reported today that her campy show V.I.P. has been given the axe — but that Pam will be returning to TV to do voice work for the main character in the upcoming animated series Stripperella. Can center square be far behind?...
Hollywood’s Unwanted Trophy
June 12, 2002
One would think that a certified Hot Chick with more name recognition than the celebrity she’s dating would have the upper hand in her love life, but in Heather Graham’s case, it’s usually she who ends up being the dumpee, not the other way around....
Me Without You
May 29, 2002
Anyone wondering how long we’d all have to wait before Michelle Williams treated us to an unclothed glimpse at her generous assets can finally stop wondering — Michelle at long last shows us the goods in Me Without You (as you can see for yourself in the picture gallery here), which comes out July 5....
Dark Angel’s Wings Finally Clipped
May 16, 2002
Well, it’s official — like so many other TV shows before it built on the pseudo-feminist “(beautiful) girls kick ass” formula, Dark Angel will be going to crappy show heaven after just a couple seasons of no one watching it....
The End of Roswell
May 14, 2002
The mothership is finally leaving, and Katherine Heigl has a lot to do with it....
Helena Recast
May 1, 2002
It might be a wee early to say for sure, but I just saw Novocaine, and I’m getting the sense that Helena Bonham-Carter might be getting typecast again — this time as the mercenary, darkly witty, hot-but-disheveled “Marla Singer” character she played in Fight Club....
Again with the Boobs
April 26, 2002
Whenever a movie tanks, film studios are often quick to say that the problem isn’t so much that the movie simply sucks as that the public has lost interest in the movie’s star. Which does little to explain the world’s continued fascination with Angelina Jolie’s fun bags even after ignoring them in last year’s Original Sin....
Deep Throat Unclogged
April 26, 2002
It turns out that Thora Birch’s lineage might be more interesting than Luke Skywalker’s....
Buh-Bye
April 5, 2002
So much for the FHM thing as far as Brooke Burke is concerned — E! is already casting about for their next Wild On host....
FHM Hoopla
April 3, 2002
FHM has an online voting booth to determine whose recycled photos will fill the pages of their “100 Sexiest Women in the World” supplement. You can submit up to ten names. Add Brooke Burke’s — and pray that the boost to her celebrity stock will help put her in movies on the one hand but not prompt her to leave her base at E! like Margolis and Kinnear on the other....
Money Well Spent
April 1, 2002
Tara Reid is seeing five shrinks to deal with Carson Daly dumping her? Five!?...
Academy Awards Update
March 24, 2002
Those people who were emailing me earlier about Jennifer Connelly’s shrinking assets might be on to something — I just caught a glimpse of her on the red carpet, and she’s packing so little now that I have to wonder if she didn’t decide to surgically lighten the load. Dumb move if she did....
Requiem for a Beautiful Body
March 1, 2002
After Jennifer Connelly’s appearance on Leno a few nights ago, I got a few emails asking if I was aware of anything drastic happening to the actress best known for her eye-friendly proportions, as she looked a cup size or two less friendly in the interview....
Dare We Believe This?
February 16, 2002
According to a post on EOnline, it looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt has finally caught on that no one cares about her bubbly personality anymore, that “actress” is more and more becoming synonymous with “stripper”, and that she had better get naked quick before she disappears from showbiz altogether:...
From Contrived Bitch to Lovable Psycho
February 15, 2002
As much as critics used to goof on Dawson’s Creek for its high school characters who all talk like 30-year-old script writers in therapy, most people nevertheless seemed to like the age-inappropriate dialog along with the rest of the show. The same hasn’t been true, though, for the dialog-intensive Gilmore Girls, in which even the lowlifes are better read than most literature professors and everyone talks like they’re in The House of Yes....
The End of the Blue Light Special
February 1, 2002
With Kmart going out of business now, what will become of Lana Clarkson?...
Nikki Gets Yanked
January 15, 2002
Well, it looks like neither Gear, FHM nor either one of Nikki Cox’s enormous breasts could keep Nikki afloat for another season, the show going under as one of the top ten least watched shows on TV....
Shannon Elizabeth R.I.P.
January 4, 2002
For anyone who hasn’t heard the news yet, Shannon Elizabeth is signing contracts to keep her implants out of public scrutiny forever:...
Jennifer Connelly Happy with Nude Scenes
January 1, 2002
Finally, an actress who doesn’t lament her past nude work....
Back from Oblivion ... But Probably Just Visiting
December 15, 2001
She’s one of the last people I expected to see with a regular role on TV again, but somehow Liz Vassey has managed to crawl her way back into primetime as “Captain Liberty” on Fox’s The Tick....
It’s Good to Be the Queen
December 15, 2001
After OJ was cleared of the murder charge, some people wondered if any evidence short of a video tape of the crime would be enough to convict a celebrity. Apparently, even that’s not enough: Winona Ryder was caught on tape stealing thousands of dollars of merchandise, but they let her go (on account of all the drugs she was allegedly on) and went after her doctor instead....
Porn Again
December 2, 2001
Heavy is the head that wears the B-movie crown, and by the mid-nineties Monique Gabrielle formally abdicated, driven by the lack of respect afforded B-movie actresses, the minuscule pay and crappy scripts they get, and her own growing health problems and anxiety issues that kept her from auditioning for higher caliber films....
Third Wind
December 1, 2001
First Requiem for a Dream and now A Beautiful Mind. Who knows how long this trend of Jennifer Connelly movies met with both critical and commercial success will last, but Jennifer definitely seems to be making steady progress out of the “Where Are They Now?” file....
Looking for Mr. Right.com
November 12, 2001
“In what parallel universe do computer geeks look anything like Keanu Reeves?” a friend once asked me as she set about demonstrating that The Matrix was completely implausible....
Heavy Is the Chest That Wears the Boobs
November 6, 2001
For every unbelievable bustline in Hollywood, there’s an equally unbelievable creation myth to explain it....
Uprising
November 4, 2001
Say what you will about TV’s Uprising, but Leelee Sobieski looked pretty good in it ... pale, pudgy face and all....
13 Ghosts, 0 Hooters
October 26, 2001
Since the “warning” of nudity has become part of the advertising campaign for 13 Ghosts, I should probably say for the record that anyone going to see the film hoping to see Shannon Elizabeth at her American Pie best will be gravely disappointed — the only nudity comes from one of the ghosts. Buyer beware....
Model, Interrupted
October 23, 2001
Just when she was starting to become famous over here via Victoria’s Secret and the E! channel, Laetitia Casta has now all but disappeared....
Jamie’s New Album Already Debuted ... On TV
October 15, 2001
On the eve of the release of Jamie-Lynn Sigler’s new album, I’ve just learned that most of us have in fact already heard a sample of Jamie’s vocal prowess — it seems that she does the vocals for the singing belly buttons on those obnoxious Levis commercials....
Leeleepalooza
October 15, 2001
At this moment there are more Leelee Sobieski flicks being dropped on theaters than bombs over Kabul. Ordinarily I’d say that still doesn’t change anything as far as Leelee’s career goes anymore than a new Janeane Garofalo theatrical release is likely to make Janeane a major player, but I’m beginning to think that the constant mention of her name on TV through the trailers and talk show appearances is starting to weave “some pig” over her stall whether or not any of her new films do well at the box office....
Boston Public
October 1, 2001
Well, the good news is that Jeri Ryan fans can still get a fix on Fox’s high school melodrama Boston Public (is there no one on that show who isn’t boffing their students?). The bad news is that Jeri’s days of Shannon Tweed-esque cable debauchery have been moved back a few years....
Charmed
October 1, 2001
Hollywood is like a vast interrogation room in that anything you say can and will be used against you later on in your career — unless you’re too small a star like Rose McGowan to matter....
Before You Email Me...
September 25, 2001
A lot of people have been emailing me objecting to my little comments about Leelee Sobieski, the complaints usually centering on one of two themes: (1) How dare I suggest that Leelee is anything less than drop dead gorgeous? (2) How dare I suggest that Leelee’s career will be more familiar to video renters than moviegoers unless her top comes off?...
Prozac Nation
September 15, 2001
The movie hasn’t come out yet (it’s forever being pushed back), but juicy stills are starting to leak out — I’m happy to report that the day some of us thought would never come has come at last: Christina Ricci has finally unveiled her two biggest and most enduring assets on film in her first nude scene....
Another Show Killed by New Hair?
September 15, 2001
Well, after a season of the new do, it looks like Friends aren’t forever after all. And with Rock Star not exactly setting the world on fire, one has to wonder how long it will be before Jennifer Aniston permanently disappears into the same black hole that swallowed Roseanne and Jerry Seinfeld....
What the...?
September 4, 2001
Samantha Fox is getting married. Sort of....
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
August 26, 2001
How much longer will Shannon Elizabeth be able to keep her clothes on and still find work?...
Hitting the Wall at 25?
August 20, 2001
Perhaps it’s the pressure of being questioned by everyone about Elizabeth Grubman’s lethal driving, or perhaps she’s having trouble recovering from the Carson Daly thing, but Tara Reid’s starting to look a little ... undead. She was cute in American Pie, but by American Pie 2 some crucial ingredients seemed to be missing, and now she just looks downright unhealthy....
Ghost World
August 18, 2001
It’s not often that I can say this about someone on this site, but it looks like Thora Birch has beaten the odds and made another really good movie....
Lessons from the Infelicitous Past
August 1, 2001
They say that those who forget the hairstyles of the past are doomed to repeat them — and low-rated Roswell is now more doomed than ever with newly shorn Katherine Heigl....
What a Difference a Couple Years Make
August 1, 2001
Gotta hand it to her — like Houdini, Helena Bonham-Carter somehow managed to unshackle herself from period fare like Frankenstein, Twelfth Night and Wings of the Dove and begin redefining her niche in Hollywood with films like Fight Club and Planet of the Apes. Not an easy feat for an actress as heavily typecast as she was....
Fate Works in Mysterious Ways
July 17, 2001
Given how this page got started, it may come as a surprise that my latest updates to the picture gallery and selection of articles came from none other than Sascha Knopf herself, who’s quite possibly the friendliest (and most good-humored) person featured on this site that I’ve been contacted by. (Stacia Zhivago was the previous record-holder.)...
If You Can’t Beat ’Em...
July 1, 2001
In a business where a woman has to be unhealthily thin just to get an audition, Brittany Murphy has figured out how to beat the odds. Her secret? Why, a strict diet, of course — one apparently inspired by Al Pacino’s powdery last meal in Scarface....
Tomb Raider
June 23, 2001
Well, it finally happened — the much-hyped video game action flick made a killing it’s opening weekend, then dropped off exponentially once the mediocrity of the film became widely known, but Angelina Jolie, everyone’s favorite nutty sexpot, is now officially a Big Star....
Finally...
June 8, 2001
Look, everyone loves a drunken party girl now and then. They can be fun to go out with, fun to read about, and, for some people, fun to date — especially if you’re in a hurry to fill the vacancy left by Jennifer Love Hewitt....
Deus ex Machina
May 20, 2001
Spy Kids?!...
Politically Incorrect
May 16, 2001
Brooke Burke was on an episode of Politically Incorrect a while ago and, much to my surprise, came off as a sensible and articulate person — not the empty-headed cue-card reader I was expecting at all....
Angel
March 15, 2001
Well I’ll be damned. It seems that Brigid Brannagh has officially emerged from the ranks of the Hollywood undead and now has a semi-regular gig on the WB’s Angel. Who’da thought?...
A Trip to the Cheesecake Factory
February 5, 2001
I’ve lost track of how many years we’ve all been waiting for something like this, but Nikki Cox, the bride of Bobcat (!), has finally done a spread for a major magazine — in this case, Gear....
Roll for Damage
December 10, 2000
Well, the verdict is in: Never, but never let someone direct a film chiefly because that person was a huge fan of the material....
Jennifer’s Stock Plummets Again
December 8, 2000
It was a hopeful few weeks, but Fox is finally closing down its ratings road less travelled, the much-hyped but very dull series The $treet. And good riddance, too. Serves them right for selling the show based on steamy sex scenes it never really had and making Jennifer Connelly the poster girl when she was scarcely in the thing....
“They’re Real, and They’re Spectacular!”
October 30, 2000
Was Thora Birch’s nudity in American Beauty faked?...
Nikki
October 15, 2000
Well, it’s finally happened — Nikki Cox is back on TV with her own show, and one that critics seem to like....
Premature Burial
October 9, 2000
No sooner did I post yesterday’s comment than an avid Denise Richards fan/apologist offered me an alternative analysis of the James Bond fiasco:...
Coroner’s Report
October 8, 2000
I don’t remember it standing out so much in Starship Troopers or Wild Things, but when I finally got around to watching The World Is Not Enough on cable, the ugly truth was too glaring to ignore: Beautiful though Denise Richards may be, the girl simply cannot act....
The Second Coming of Jennifer
September 1, 2000
Well, it’s taken a while, but at long last Jennifer Connelly has found a way to get a little more exposure beyond getting naked in films that no one will ever see — she’s got a prominent role on Fox’s The $treet....
Case Dropped
July 25, 2000
Mike Wilson’s lawyer reportedly made him realize that he has no case. It’s about friggin’ time....
Forced Disappearing Act
June 8, 2000
Well, the possibility of maintaining a Kerri Kendall picture archive unharrassed is looking more and more remote now, so for the time being (and possibly forever), the goodies here will have to be taken off the shelf. Sorry, folks....
More Than One Way to Skin a Site
June 7, 2000
It’s been the better part of a week since Mike Wilson’s last telephone tantrum regarding this site (that I know of), so I’m guessing that either the threat of a countersuit for spamming off my webhost’s server was more than he wanted to deal with, or someone finally explained to him the difficulties involved with suing for pictures that aren’t his....
Et Tu, Kerri?
May 31, 2000
Today I had another run-in with Kerri Kendall. Sort of. And not in a good way....
The Rise of Angelina Jolie
January 20, 2000
Every now and then people ask me, “Why do you have people like Uma Thurman and Salma Hayek on your site? I thought ‘The Iconophile’ was all about obscure actresses.” It shouldn’t be long now before they start asking me the same thing about Angelina Jolie....
How Did They Ever?
June 15, 1999
It didn’t occur to me when I first set up this page, but someone recently pointed out that Christi Harris was only 15 (or 16 at most) when she shot her nude scenes in Night of the Demons 2 (the film was released well after it was shot, for those of you doing the math) — and only a year older for Night of the Scarecrow....
A Brush With the Elbow of Minor Greatness
April 25, 1999
A funny thing happened on the way to the tennis court today. And it was wearing stretch shorts....